Date: 25 Sep 2009 21:50 Title: Viper's Den
Wow wee. I'm kinda mind blown by this chapter. The playing of games and trying to live a pretence. All very convincingly portrayed with the discomfiture and stumblings that are natural in such a circumstance; yet somehow they come off as a couple. Their mixed history adding the depth of feeling that adds so much to the dynamics between them. A sparring warring couple they very much appear. Excellent stuff again.
Author's Response: It would be such an awkward act, having to feign marriage to a sibling. I truly can't imagine, but I had to try! Thanks for the great review!
Date: 25 Sep 2009 21:35 Title: Tendrils of Love
More world building with the aspect of Orialius and the farms going bankrupt and the people banding together to start a co-op. Very fascinating, especially with Tolan telling half-lies of which Mila is more than able to discern working with Tain. Tolan is obviously going to be a very dangerous element to her life and no wonder Garak grows up with a certain almost anti-State stance despite his fervent loyalty. Between Tolan and Tain no wonder we have such a complex and contradictory character as Garak.
Author's Response: So little was ever seen or said of Tolan, and yet he stamped Garak as surely and thoroughly as Tain. It was obvious in the character we saw on DS9 and the man Garak became after the Dominion War. He is a dangerous soul, all the more for his simplicity and refusal to compromise in certain ways. I'm glad you seem to feel the portrayal makes sense from the character of Garak. Reverse engineering of characters is a little tricky sometimes.
Date: 25 Sep 2009 21:26 Title: Becoming
Terrific insight into Tain and his efforts to seperate himself and become the identity he is assuming. The attention to details and the diligience of his training and self-observations are immense and impressive. A thoroughly absorbing account of what has to be very difficult to convey and still get across the mentality and character of Tain. Tight writing and very impressive to read. Wow.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I've known a few undercover narcotics officers, and I had the benefit of their experiences to help me portray the mindset necessary to assume a new identity. The cloak and dagger aspects of the story have been challenging, but a great deal of fun to write.
[Report This]Date: 24 Sep 2009 23:30 Title: Purge
Oh, how I hated Tain in this chapter, while still finding him compelling to read about. Well done! ;D
On to the next installment! (Pretty please?)
Author's Response: Couldn't have anyone thinking he was going soft. Thank you!
I'm still working up exactly when I want to pick up and what I want to happen in the next story, but it should be fairly soon. It's something of a challenge for me knowing where a character winds up and working out a plausible way for him to arrive without the foregone conclusion making it a bore.
Date: 15 Sep 2009 01:08 Title: Sleg
Baby Garak! A most bittersweet chapter knowing what lies ahead ... but a fascinating look at a few of the traditions surrounding Cardassian childbirth, and definitely an insightful glance into Tolan's psyche, faith, and love for his family. Beautifully written, I loved the descriptions of the garden and the sunrise, as well as the physical descriptions of baby Garak.
Worth the wait!
Author's Response: I wrestled for a while with the decision to write this from Tolan's perspective rather than Mila's. In the end, I decided I could give a more authentic voice to his experience. It was bittersweet to write, knowing what I know. Babies know nothing of what's in store for them. I enjoyed being able to give them a moment that wasn't tainted. Thanks for the review and feedback!
[Report This]Date: 08 Sep 2009 01:09 Title: Fruits of Labor
Well, the chapter was great, but those four words at the end blew everything else away. Hurry up and post the next chapter! I have to see how this goes!
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed, and I'm sure Mila is quite ready to get that baby out. I may be delayed a few days in writing. Had to take one of the cats in today to the emergency vet clinic, and he may be facing surgery. I'll know more tomorrow and get back to writing when I can give it the proper focus. I'm looking forward to getting to write the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: 05 Sep 2009 10:26 Title: Setting the Hook
A fascinating introspective of the various personalities involved in this mission. Dyban is no fool, and it seems Tain may just be a bit too clever for his own good. I have to keep reminding myself that this isn’t the wizened old spymaster we come to know on DS9, but his younger, perhaps more reckless self. It’s a thin line he’s treading between making Lok seem intellectually wary without tipping his hand that he’s not exactly what he appears.
Great stuff!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Yes, this is younger, not as wise Tain well before his ascendancy to the top of his game. He has quite a few lessons left in store to learn, none of them easy ones. The game he's playing isn't for the faint of heart.
Date: 05 Sep 2009 08:53 Title: Opening Gambit
The intricacies of Cardassian relations must make even routine missions exhausting with everyone constantly looking over their shoulders. What would be a milk run with a Starfleet crew becomes a painstakingly choreographed ballet of paranoia and brinksmanship among this species. I’ll be fascinated to see how this crew pulls off its mission in the midst of all the maneuvering.
Author's Response: I don't think it would be so bad if it were just Gul Hadan's crew. It's the commingling of the various government factions that makes this as complicated as it is. I'm glad you're finding it interesting. It took me a while to work out in my head how they all related to one another, or failed to relate.
Date: 04 Sep 2009 04:03 Title: Viper's Den
A nice chapter as Tolan settles into to his new existence in the city. Living in Tain's household would be a challenge for the stoutest of hearts, given that it requires all manner of lies and subterfuge.
Here's hoping everything goes as planned...
Author's Response: Thanks! I wouldn't enjoy being in Tolan's position at all. I don't think Tolan is enjoying it much at that point either, but Cardassians will go to great lengths for their families.
Date: 03 Sep 2009 04:03 Title: Playing the Game
Mila is strong and tragic at the same time. Great chapter, I feel like I know her a bit better now.
Author's Response: Thank you. The more I get to write of her, the more I like her. She has some pretty glaring flaws, like being able to love somebody like Tain in the first place, but I do feel for the most part her heart is in the right place.
Date: 31 Aug 2009 13:52 Title: Blaze of Glory
Well, that was an intense chapter! He's quite the killing machine. It's really impressive that you can write such an unredeemable character as a real person and not a cardboard villain, without resorting to excusing or justifying the evil he's done. Despite the fact that he really deserved to succumb to the gas, I found myself holding my breath to see if he'd make it. It's a really compelling characterization you have going here.
Author's Response: This was a really hard chapter to write, because I had come to like some of the people he wound up killing, and it was all just so brutal and matter of fact for him. The day I wind up feeling he's justified or making excuses for him is the day I should probably hang up writing about Tain, because that's letting him in my head just a little too far. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Date: 27 Aug 2009 20:53 Title: Persuasion Part II
Somehow Mila convinces him. Tolan's agreement may be based partly in having a say in the child's life - maybe the need to nurture and help something grow is that strong in him as a failed farmer. The nicer part of me says yes that mut be so. The more cynically part wonders at the motivation and whether something else lies under it - he's fairly in the know about Tain and his business. I don't know whether that would be known to the public at large or not but certainly going into this Tolan knows the score and danger. His desire to have a say in Garak's upbringing might be part of his plan certainly I can see it causing a lot of difficulties and tensions down the line.
Author's Response: I always got the impression that some of the more powerful movers and shakers in the Order were household names. Of course, what was known about them would be wildly exaggerated or completely inaccurate, but it follows along the same principle of letting people believe the Order knows what you had for dinner. If you're surrounded with enough fear and mythology, it's an excellent buffer against all but the most determined and educated adversaries.
All I'll say about Tolan is that he is a complex man of complex motivations who doesn't mind if people assume he is simple, much like a certain tailor we would later come to know and love, or love to hate in some cases.
Date: 27 Aug 2009 20:37 Title: Going Black
Very much a shift in the story revealing the dark undersides and the thrill and danger of espionage. Tain seems very skilled in the area and quite cold in his acceptance of the mission. A dangerous sounding one at that. Lots of intrigue, double dealing and back stabbing I can imagine.
Author's Response: Life in the Order definitely is not for the faint of heart or those without the ability to go all the way for the mission. It's not a life I'd want to lead, but it's fun to explore!
Date: 27 Aug 2009 20:29 Title: Persuasion Part I
Woah ... now I wasn't expecting the focus of this chapter to be so I dunno desolate ... with Mila's troubling thoughts and the crisis situation on Cardassia.
Lots of terrific details and imagery employed adding such depth and disconsolate sense in the air as reading which seems so perfectly matched to Mila's plight and her going to her brother with this mad request.
Good to see how Mila gets around Tain, using intelligience and ensuring no one has leverage over him in order to keep the child. She is certainly skilful in such machinations - how deliberate they are is another matter but she seems to get her way. I guess that is just part of the Cardassian nature. Hee hee.
Again, impressive writing and intriguing characters and interesting tale being woven. Great job PSGarak.
Author's Response: I think that to understand Cardassians and their expansionist agenda, it's very important to understand how much as a people they have suffered from disease and famine, and the catastrophic climate change that drove them to the very brink of disaster. I really wanted to drive that home.
I couldn't see Tain captivated by anyone who wasn't his equal on the level of intellect, and I couldn't see anyone interested in Tain who didn't also have a similar ruthless streak, even if it took a different bent. They had to be a match for Garak's birth and survival to adulthood to make any sense at all to me at least.
Thank you very much for the positive feedback!
Date: 22 Aug 2009 05:05 Title: Setting the Hook
You know, Cardassians are socially exhausting. All the intrigue is fun to read about, but this chapter sort of seemed like a "slice of Cardassian life" and I'm realizing mind games and intrigue are just part of the cultural landscape. I think I would go insane there!
Author's Response: Oh, definitely. Games within games, wheels within wheels, particularly when dealing with the major government players working together. Everyone is seeking advantage here. While I don't think that would necessarily be true of the average Joe Cardassian just trying to get by, these are people high in the military, intelligence, and civilian elite where position is everything. I'd go insane, too, if I had to live that way, but it's fun to write. I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Date: 16 Aug 2009 13:45 Title: His Strongest Weakness
A very thorough piece of writing - by that I mean the little details, the emotions, the actions of the characters and scene all rang true, absorbing the reader into the tale. Apart from the fact, it tells the origin story of Garak and the compelling figure of Tain. It always seemed like a foolish thing for a member so high and devious within the Order to expose themselves to the threat entailed by having a child, a family, close connections that could be used and abused.
However, we learn here that Tain himself was the one from the outset, in cold calculation decided the risks could be outweighed to create the perfect agent, Cardassia's most loyal citizen. It is coldblooded and harrowing to think that his motivation for not killing Garak in the womb and his mother, was in order to create a weapon to his own ends. He himself ends up using and abusing his child. That's cold, hard, determination. No wonder Garak's smile cannot be trusted.
Taunt and tight and terrific writing. And I'm glad to see that the story is being expanded on. From get go here, you have created a very dark and duplicitious world of machinations and ulterior motives, with hidden agendas and emotions. This should be a thrilling and compulsive read.
Author's Response: Thank you for the thorough review. As I've mentioned elsewhere, this was the only way that made sense to me for Tain to do what he did. Somebody else may come up with an equally compelling reason in their own fic down the line, but that was the only way that worked in my head. The results, as we saw in the show, were fascinating, but somewhat tragic. I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I hope I can keep up the quality and pace. It's proving to be a challenge.
Date: 11 Aug 2009 09:29 Title: Persuasion Part II
What is he up to? Well written, and Tolan could prove to be...an inconvenience, later.
Author's Response: Time will tell! ;) Thanks for the feedback!
Date: 11 Aug 2009 09:26 Title: Going Black
Tight super-spy sequence. Tain is a cynic, isn't he? That must be how he got to the top.
Author's Response: Tain is very much a cynic and a skeptic, something that in Cardassian society is more of a virtue than in ours, I imagine. I'm very glad you enjoyed the spy aspect. I had a blast writing that.
Date: 11 Aug 2009 02:54 Title: Persuasion Part I
I'm so glad you started writing these stories. This is wonderful stuff.
Author's Response: I really appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story!
[Report This]Date: 10 Aug 2009 23:00 Title: Persuasion Part I
Excellent second part!
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing!
[Report This]Date: 10 Aug 2009 21:31 Title: His Strongest Weakness
Awesome, as I've said before. Stunningly crafted!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the feedback! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Date: 09 Aug 2009 09:26 Title: Tendrils of Love
Tolan's definitely up to something, but what level of instigation he's dabbling in remains uncertain. One thing is certain, seditious talk of that sort will be met quickly and surely in Tain’s household, so Tolan had better learn some discretion, and soon.
Wonderful imagery here from Mila’s dream. The vividness of your prose captures the scene beautifully, as does the contrast between the lush panorama of her dream and the arid wasteland of Tolan’s reality.
Continued excellence!
Author's Response: Yes, Tolan is up to something, and you're absolutely right. Talk like that in Tain's house is a one way ticket to a trial with a foregone conclusion. Let's hope Tolan figures that out without finding himself on the wrong side of Tain's interrogation chamber. Thank you so much! I wanted a way to show the Cardassia of her youth without flashback. A dream fit the bill.
Date: 09 Aug 2009 06:07 Title: Becoming
Tain never dabbles in half-measures, it's all or nothing. The most un-Tain like persona that he's adopted is definitely making him uncomfortable, but it should serve to make the target of his investigation that much more careless in his presence.
This is a terrific chapter that demonstrates the lengths the Obsidian Order and individual Cardassians are willing to go to in order to fulfill their duty to the State.
Author's Response: Thank you! This chapter was partially inspired by some narcotics officers I used to work with and the things they said about going undercover.
Date: 09 Aug 2009 03:31 Title: Persuasion Part II
I wonder if Tolan's got himself into some kind of trouble that might make Mila's offer more agreeable for him? That went easier than Mila expected, and I'm guessing there's a reason for that. Or, perhaps he's just tired and worn down from trying to eek out an existence in a dying land.
Only time will tell.
Author's Response: Time will definitely tell. I can promise you haven't seen the last of this issue, but that's all I can say!
Date: 08 Aug 2009 13:17 Title: Going Black
I liked this segment very much. It felt somewhat like James Bond receiving an assignment from M, but ever so much darker and more dangerous. I suppose its par for the course for an Obsidian Order (double-oh, eh?) operative to be used as tool for political gain by his superior, but it would sure as hell leave me feeling expendable.
Author's Response: Now I may one day have to do a parody story O(bsidian)O(rder)7 just because you said that! I get the sense that expendable is the order of the day for pretty much any Cardassian agent. Any society that values the collective above the individual will definitely approach things differently from a Western perspective. In some ways, I see the order like the House of Borgia, with the only real difference being that at least some of them truly are more loyal to Cardassia than their own self-interests. I had a lot of fun writing that one, and I'm glad it was a fun read!