Date: 20 May 2014 23:16 Title: Chapter 2
Wow that was dark, but well done this does feel like a true dark tale from a slaves past.
Author's Response: Thanks, FB. It is turning out darker than I meant for it to be, but the fate these girls face is a dark one indeed.
Date: 20 May 2014 22:50 Title: Chapter 3
Oh God. As horrific as it has been, to have that moment of hope and escape so brutally dashed (and I can only imagine howly brutally dashed it will be) is surely enough to break her spirit or anyone's. But there must be some sort of fighter survivor in her still. She planned her escape and took that courageous act, it was no mere opportunistic chance. This was determination and almost a tactical decision since she does not warn or help the others. It speaks to some inner strength. And sadly, in her position it was all too real that she would seek only to free herself. She's in a desperate situation and a chance at escape had to be seized. Bravo for the piece. Brave in its telling and never holding back and that somehow honours those who share similar fates.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, and for the words of support. As much as part of me wants to apologize profusely for writing it, the other part of me says that if the story is to be told, it must ALL be told. Somehow, holding back feels to diminish what her real life counterparts go through on a daily basis.
Date: 20 May 2014 21:00 Title: Chapter 3
Oh, this is a dark, dark place. I really hope our gal somehow finds a way to make it. She's a great character.
Author's Response: Thanks, Jespah. It is a dark place she's in. I hope she makes it, too.
Date: 20 May 2014 19:31 Title: Chapter 3
No! I was hoping Barin would escape! What a cliffhanger. Awesome job!
Cannot wait to see what you come up with for Day #4.
Author's Response: Thank you, zeusfluff. She was so close.
Date: 20 May 2014 18:32 Title: Chapter 3
Aw no! This is not going to be good. Again, an excellent job describing the horrendous conditions in which the girls are being kept, a true depiction of the darkness that exists even in the ST universe. I hope that this has a silver lining at the end. Good stuff!
Author's Response: Thanks for the read, CS. No, I'm afraid this isn't going to end well for Barin, at least in the short term.
Date: 20 May 2014 18:19 Title: Chapter 3
Oh, lord. Barin's about to get into some bad trouble but she had to take the shot here. Another great job with the atmosphere of this piece.
Author's Response: Thank you, TF. Yes, I'm afraid she's about to get it.
Date: 20 May 2014 18:17 Title: Chapter 2
Just a superb job at capturing the desperation, hopelessness, and sadness of this. Well done and disturbing.
Author's Response: Thank you, tf. It is desperate and hopeless and sad, isn't it?
Date: 20 May 2014 17:56 Title: Chapter 3
Oh, man. Of course it couldn't be that easy. She's in for it now. :(
There's something cold and desperate about the fact that she was able to leave the others behind. I mean, what choice did she have, really? But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to do it. Once my hands were free I'd be working to free the others, and we'd probably all die for it. She did the smarter thing. Too bad she got caught.
Author's Response: I would be working to free others, too, kes, but she is a frightened child, desperate to escape, perhaps with the thought of bringing help back, or maybe not really thinking at all.
Date: 20 May 2014 17:47 Title: Chapter 3
So close...
Maybe less dark than the other two, sure, but still heart-wrenching. Five years in that cage? This is very intense and heartbreaking, even more so because we know the truth in this story.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, TS. I know it isn't an easy read. It is heartbreaking, and even more so because there is some reality in it.
Date: 20 May 2014 13:34 Title: Chapter 2
Oh man. This was harsh. I think the girls' reaction at the end is almost more chilling than any of the rest. Very realistic that they would learn to internalise everything considering what is happening to them. You do a great job of portraying the darkness of this world and the way they are slowly being broken. A chilling, extremely well written little ficlet.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, CS. I agree, it is chilling that a person could learn to internalize something as horrible as the things they are seeing, and turn a blind eye to it, but it is probably also necessary for their survival.
Date: 20 May 2014 10:26 Title: Chapter 2
Oh, holy God, that's awful. Well written, but very, very hard to read.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, Steff. I agree, it is awful. We should begin to see some light toward the end of the week.
Date: 20 May 2014 06:16 Title: Chapter 1
You're right - that was very, very hard to read, and left me stunned, and processing for several minutes before I could come up with a coherent reply. Sadly, I can't. This just makes me think of the 200+ Nigerian schoolgirls who were kidnapped recently, and what they must be going through. And for them, it's not just words on a page...
Author's Response: Sometimes, there is no coherent reply. I thought of the Nigerian school girls, too, and all of the other women (including those in our own country) who disappear every year and are sold into the trafficking industry. There is hope for Barin.
Date: 20 May 2014 05:29 Title: Chapter 2
Woah, you pack a great emotion punch within a short period. Good job.
Author's Response: Thank you, Mick. Thanks for reading.
Date: 20 May 2014 04:24 Title: Chapter 2
I has a sad. This is heartwrenching. :(
Author's Response: Agreed. Thanks for reading.
Date: 20 May 2014 01:59 Title: Chapter 2
Oh my God...
Excuse me while I go hug my children. *shudder*
Author's Response: Part of me keeps desperately wanting to apologize for writing this, to myself as well as everyone else, and I know it must be an especially hard read for those who have children. Thanks for reading, and here's hoping Barin finds some justice.
Date: 20 May 2014 01:29 Title: Chapter 2
Wow GK, what a very dark piece you have here. But enjoyable. I felt like I was looking through this eyes of Barin. I cannot wait to see what you come up with next in Day 3.
Thanks for sharing this.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, zeus.
Date: 20 May 2014 01:29 Title: Chapter 2
Holy shit. That was brutal. And thank you for writing it, because real girls live this reality every day. Sci-fi gives us a little distance to examine the real. And this, sadly, is all too real.
Author's Response: This is turning out waaaay darker than I ever meant for it to be, but you are right, real girls do live this reality every day, and their voices need to be heard. Thanks for reading, and reviewing.
Date: 20 May 2014 01:28 Title: Chapter 2
God, Horrifying. Brutal. A very hard read in so short a space. Stellar writing. Awful subject. But already I'm rooting for this girl. Hoping for some ascent, escape, reprieve. Really, really hoping.
Author's Response: It was a very hard write, too, MF. Thanks for reading. Barin will find a way, I think.
Date: 20 May 2014 01:27 Title: Chapter 2
Oh, man.
Trek often winked at Orion slavery, giving it a sexy spin in TOS and then BS'ing it away in ENT as being instead the sexual slavery of male Orions. I don't believe either takes for one minute. Slavery is slavery, and for a person to be owned by another smacks of a grinding down of people that should affect both slave and slaveholder.
The scene is grim, and scary, and it makes one wonder what's next.
Author's Response: Yes, Jespah, I agree. I think that's one thing that has bothered me about a few episodes in TOS. For all their advanced philosophies regarding moving past war and being better people, they were fairly nonchalant about this issue, almost seemed to try to justify it in some ways. I understand it was a product of it's generation as well, and I think the intention was to show that there were still less civilized societies in existence, but I always felt that those in the Federation, when encountering it, should have acted differently about it. Thanks for reading.
Date: 19 May 2014 22:52 Title: Chapter 1
That's a strong opener here well done. I hopping to for Barin to escape quickly.
Author's Response: Thanks, FB. Here's hoping she escapes quickly.
Date: 19 May 2014 21:45 Title: Chapter 1
Quite a piece, found it quite chilling towards the end. A superb effort.
Author's Response: Thank you, Mac. And thanks for reading. This one's hard to write.
Date: 19 May 2014 16:20 Title: Chapter 1
Oh, what an awful beginning to a story! That poor kid. Buh. I have a feeling this one is gonna haunt me.
Author's Response: Thanks for the read. It always seemed to me that TOS was kind of nonchalant about the way the Orion slave girls were portrayed, in the few times that we saw them. Having worked with Human Trafficking victims first in Romania and then here, that bothers me. It is a story that needs telling. Awful? I agree completely.
Date: 19 May 2014 11:31 Title: Chapter 1
Ouch. Brutal. Any parent's nightmare made real here, even more tragic since it is told through the eyes of the child. Knowing what awaits slave girls makes this even more haunting. You did a great job of conveying the fear and confusion of her abduction, as well as the physical pain inflicted.
I'm not going to say I look forward to seeing what happens next considering the theme but I will definitely be interested to see where you take it.
Author's Response: I am not looking forward to writing it, either, CS, but it is an issue in our own society that gets far too little attention. Have no fear, there is some justice for Barin by the end of the week, I think.
Date: 19 May 2014 09:24 Title: Chapter 1
Utterly compelling. Utterly terrifying. A heck of an opener and such a captivating storyline despite the nature of the tale. This promises so much. Looking forward despite the nature of the piece. Fantastic. See now why I write the Border Patrol guys sweeping in to save the day because this is a horrid fate.
Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words, MF, and for the read. Yes, I agree, it is a horrible fate, and it is made more horrible by the fact that many times, these are some of the forgotten voices in our society.
Date: 19 May 2014 06:58 Title: Chapter 1
!! Holy wow...that was terrifying!
Author's Response: Thanks for the read, TS. I think this is every parent's secret fear, and I imagine it would be pretty terrifying to be a slave girl.