Date: 23 May 2014 16:21 Title: Chapter 6
Oh no! I had really hoped this story was going to have a happy ending, but it is looking bleaker and bleaker. You continue to describe this dark side of the Star Trek universe very well, a universe of death and despair more than hope. I look forward to seeing how this all resolves itself tomorrow.
Author's Response: Well, it's not over yet, CS. Maybe she'll find a satisfactory end to her story yet.
Date: 23 May 2014 15:27 Title: Chapter 6
Frying pan, meet fire.
What's next for our gal? Can't wait to see how you wrap things up tomorrow!
Author's Response: Thank you very much.
Date: 23 May 2014 02:23 Title: Chapter 5
Woo! Finally away. I'm hoping this means better times are in store for Barin, but somehow I'm willing to bet that isn't the case...
Author's Response: I'm willing to bet it might not be the case, either. Here's hoping she comes out all right in the end.
Date: 23 May 2014 01:42 Title: Chapter 4
YES! Stabby-stabby-stabby! Good for you Barin, although I think I would have saved him for last and made it hurt for a while... >:O
Author's Response: Your stabby stabby made me laugh. I think in a situation like that, she just wants to be sure it doesn't happen again--so she isn't interested in saving him for last. Thanks for reading.
Date: 23 May 2014 00:55 Title: Chapter 5
so, she has a crack at freedom. No less than the others this was written in a manner that drew me in.
Author's Response: Yes, let's hope it doesn't do her more harm than good. Thanks for the kind words, Mac.
Date: 23 May 2014 00:49 Title: Chapter 4
The less than glamarous side of things. Got to hope that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
Author's Response: There is, I think, but maybe not as soon as we think. Thank you.
Date: 23 May 2014 00:32 Title: Chapter 5
Awesome.
Victory. Escape. Freedom.
The ship soars into the sky and my hopes for Barin soar too. Please. Please.
Author's Response: Thanks, MF.
Date: 23 May 2014 00:28 Title: Chapter 3
Were it not enough so much was packed into a tiny entry that line line was beyond ominous. Good work Gates.
Author's Response: Thank you, Mac.
Date: 23 May 2014 00:19 Title: Chapter 2
As with the first one, utterly chilling. Something just on the cold side, an uneasy feeling.
In that, nice work.
Date: 22 May 2014 21:38 Title: Chapter 5
Freedom at last or just a different jail?
Gatekeeper this is continuing to be a unique look at one slave journey. Well Done.
Author's Response: That's a good question, FB, and one that will soon be answered. Thanks for the review.
Date: 22 May 2014 18:45 Title: Chapter 5
Nice! Glad to see Barin getting away, though of course it could turn out to be a case of frying pan to fire. One little niggle, it might be a good idea to split your two large paragraphs into smaller ones - it looks quite intimidating when you first start reading and there are quite a few places where both paragraphs could have been split, IMHO. Just a thought. Otherwise, another well written piece.
Author's Response: Done. Thanks for reading, and for the advice. How tenuous this escape is--let's hope it turns out well.
Date: 22 May 2014 18:07 Title: Chapter 5
YAY! Barin got away! But at whose expense? Now I'm kind of afraid to know who's shuttle she entered. Great stuff Gatekeeper.
I await with bated breath for Day 6's entry.
Author's Response: At whose expense? That is the question, now, isn't it? We'll have to see. Thanks for reading.
Date: 22 May 2014 16:23 Title: Chapter 5
She wasn't allowing herself to think too much about anything. That way lay insanity.
I can absolutely see why she'd be on autopilot -- a kind of shock setting in, pure survival instinct.
Here's hoping that her random choice of an escape craft doesn't do more harm than good.
Author's Response: I think at this point, she's past the point of caring whether she lives or dies, or even thinking about it. She's in shock, but beyond that, she's reached the point where anything is preferable to what she's going through.
Date: 22 May 2014 15:56 Title: Chapter 5
The slow and steady escape. But is this an improvement in our gal's situation, or not. She's become almost feral, as she wipes off the knife, washes herself and her dress and essentially destroys the evidence as quickly as possible.
Let's see where that shuttle goes ....
Author's Response: I hadn't thought of that before, but yes, she has become almost feral. Here's hoping she'll have the opportunity to heal.
Date: 22 May 2014 03:52 Title: Chapter 4
YES. I mean, God, this is so awful, but she finally got the upper hand for a moment. I don't condone murder normally, but they drove her to this. Not a jury in the universe would convict her. Well, at least no decent jury.
Author's Response: I don't condone murder either, but it seemed like the right reaction under the circumstances. It would be the only way to be sure it didn't happen again. In the same situation, I don't know what I would do.
Date: 22 May 2014 03:26 Title: Chapter 4
A lot of emotion played out in a short time. It'll be interesting to me to see where it all ends up.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading, and yes, very emotional. Three more days.
Date: 22 May 2014 02:01 Title: Chapter 4
I read this earlier today, but got distracted with house chores. So, does this mean that Barin escapes? Maybe? I hope so!
Cannot wait to see your entry for Day 5.
Author's Response: We'll have to see. Not sure quite yet. Thanks for reading.
Date: 22 May 2014 01:24 Title: Chapter 4
Has her moment of freedom come at last? Again you craft a believable story and the pictures your words paint are vilid.
Great job.
Author's Response: Not quite sure how to answer that question yet, Bill. Thanks for the kind words.
Date: 22 May 2014 00:31 Title: Chapter 4
My God. And yes. And ... just so many different emotions. That was heartbreaking and similarly heart soaring. So happy that she got this escape. Or at least got this opportunity of retribution.
Author's Response: Thank you, MF. I think she's beyond emotion at this point, as it is all just too much to process. She got her retribution, and we can be glad for that, but will it ultimately end up costing her something? It'll be interesting to see.
Date: 21 May 2014 23:32 Title: Chapter 4
This is a seriously dark vision of the Trek universe, which is what makes it stand out. You do a good job of not steering away from that darkness, while not delving into overkill, melodrama or darkness for the sake of darkness. Barin's reaction here is both justified and understandable, I just hope that there is going to be some kind of silver lining for her somewhere down the line. Chilling, harrowing but extremely well written! Well done.
Author's Response: Honestly, CS, I think her reaction was what it was because it was the only choice she saw--the only way to be sure he didn't do it again. Have no fear--there's a silver lining coming, I just hope I can make it read believably after all of this.
Date: 21 May 2014 23:30 Title: Chapter 4
Her escape is underway! Good on her for ending those Tellarite SOBs. She shouldn't shed a tear. Let's hope she can find someone to help her out.
Author's Response: Yes, she seems to finally have escaped. Let's hope someone will help our girl out. I mean, she's only fifteen at this point. She deserves a break. Thanks for reading.
Date: 21 May 2014 23:29 Title: Chapter 4
It's a harsh and brutal world you've carved out for our gal. Hard to believe that we were reading about idyllic days only 3 days ago.
Author's Response: I agree. It's funny how things can change so quickly, isn't it? Thanks for reading.
Date: 21 May 2014 19:18 Title: Chapter 3
Gosh darnit, Gatekeeper. I was holding my breath thinking she was going to make it, but nope! Hope was yanked away at the last instant. This continues to be a great story! I'm still cheering for Barin to get away. :P
Author's Response: Thanks for the read, RJ. I'm cheering for her, too. We'll see what happens.
Date: 21 May 2014 05:01 Title: Chapter 3
What an emotional ride. Great character work here. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks, Mick.
Date: 20 May 2014 23:19 Title: Chapter 3
O poor lady, to almost touch freedom and then have it fail due to a old fashion guard dog.
Nicely Done.
Author's Response: Yes, heartbreaking, isn't it? Thanks for reading, FB.