Date: 21 May 2014 18:15 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Aw that's sad that despite the seven women in his life Tommy seems only to have this one love interest and even then unrequited love and regrets had at was missed and not grasped.
Author's Response:
There's no way he could have grasped her, though. She's in the MU and he's here. That's the sadness of the whole Calafan dream state. You meet people who you can never really know.
Date: 21 May 2014 17:36 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Sounds like someone has regrets about not being with Takara. I feel bad for Tommy. Another fine piece here.
Thanks for sharing and cannot wait to see what you come up with for Day 5.
Author's Response:
Most definitely. And, thank you!
Date: 21 May 2014 08:42 Title: Cindy Morgan
*snicker* aw, school yard love and awkward dances. This was a fun break from the other installments. I have a feeling I'll be crying by the end, but this was a nice break.
Author's Response:
Thanks, yeah, plus he's got a sense of humor, even at the end.
Date: 21 May 2014 04:58 Title: Cindy Morgan
It seems the more things change the more they stay the same, even with prom. Brought back some decent memories for me with this piece. I could relate to stepping on feet trying to dance. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Aw, thank you!
Date: 21 May 2014 02:34 Title: Melissa Madden
This one felt as though he was trying to grab all the memories rushing at him, and realizing he didn't have time to remember them all. I thought that sense of confusion was a nice touch. I'm liking these women, too. Can't wait for tomorrow.
Author's Response:
Yeah, he's becoming a bit unraveled (as I suppose anyone would be). Many thanks!
Date: 20 May 2014 22:43 Title: Cindy Morgan
The failed first love and the school yard tales.
Again nicely done, You've maintain your narrative flow and each tale does enrich the character.
Well Done.
Author's Response:
Aw, thank you so much. And definitely failed - he doesn't know where she is (or even if she's alive, truth be told).
Date: 20 May 2014 21:44 Title: Cindy Morgan
The scope of this is so much more than seven women. There's so many that form the part of Tommy's life but in a way, it also charts their little human colonisation/ghetto on Lafa II in its own way too. And it tries to chart something of the intermingled and expanded family they had. And more than, in this increasingly disjointed, disorientated chapter, where he drifts off the point he wants to make, we clearly see he's addressing Kevin, reaching for him ... reaching for the light?
Author's Response:
Possibly - certainly trying to make some sense of things, although there's not a lot of time for him to do so. Each of these memories is a lens on Tommy's life. Who he was, as he becomes who he is now, at the very end. Thank you for reading and 'getting' it.
Date: 20 May 2014 19:12 Title: Cindy Morgan
Another nice portrait of the Seven Women. I really got a sense of who she was.
Thanks for sharing.
Cannot wait to see what you come up with for Day #4.
Author's Response:
Thank you so very much!
Date: 20 May 2014 18:37 Title: Cindy Morgan
LOL. Prom. Even in the future it never goes as well as you think it will. Enjoyable read here.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much!
Plus ... aliens!
Date: 20 May 2014 16:34 Title: Cindy Morgan
I don't know if this was intentional on your part, but this one felt a little sped-up, rushed, like he realizes the end is coming soon and he needs to hurry up and get through it, and yet he keeps remembering other bits and pieces and doesn't have time to really grab hold of those memories, so he shoves them aside. If you meant to do that, you did it really well, and it really adds to the reality of the whole series of vignettes. I can't wait to see what comes next.
Author's Response:
Yes, he's starting to rush a bit (plus Cindy wasn't as important to him as the first two, at least not in the same way). This piece is also quite a bit about Tommy's relationship with Joss. The title may be Seven Women, but there are plenty of men who shaped Tommy, too. And, thank you.
Date: 20 May 2014 15:39 Title: Cindy Morgan
Nice. You have done such a good job of creating this whole life for this character and it is lovely learning about him through these seven women he encountered, lived with and loved. I can't wait for tomorrow's! Great job
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you so much - and of course this bit is also a lot about Joss, and what he meant to Tommy.
Date: 20 May 2014 05:29 Title: Melissa Madden
I remember that story, too where he walked in on them. But it warms my heart to know that what he took from that in the end is they made each other smile.
Another great addition, as always.
Author's Response:
Aw, thank you!
Date: 20 May 2014 05:03 Title: Leonora Digiorno
I really enjoyed this installment, great character building here as always.
Author's Response:
Aw, thank you!
Date: 20 May 2014 03:28 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Very nice continuation Jespah. I think this is a great way to paint a picture of someone's past.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you so much.
Date: 20 May 2014 02:55 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Oh man, I remember that story where he walked in on them! That was priceless! And the bridge again to the other side, a very nice part of your universe. Can't wait to see the next part
Author's Response:
Oh, I was SO hoping you'd remember that! Clothes flying - "Go get some juice, Tommy! Be right there!" :)
And, of course, the bridge.
Date: 20 May 2014 02:36 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Really enjoyed reading this. Sad that it has to end in Tommy's demise, but his recollections here are nice.
Author's Response:
I thank you!
Date: 19 May 2014 22:35 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Great follow up Jespah and as always your character world building is top draw.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you so much!
Date: 19 May 2014 20:57 Title: Melissa Madden
Again emotion and feeling is caught well in such a small piece. Even if at the start as I saw the title an Eagles song broke into my head. Unlike that song, I sense a tough week ahead.
Author's Response:
Four that wanna own me, two that wanna stone me, one says she's a friend of mine. ♫♪
I'd probably put Melissa and Norri both in the first category. Next one will probably fit into category #2.
Date: 19 May 2014 20:12 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Ah, the "walking in" on the parents thing. I think we've all done this (unfortunately) and it's definitely a memory that sticks with us, though I don't necessarily want to remember it in my last moments, lol. Sweet of him to remember it though and I think, more than anything, I like the way he relates her death to his upcoming one.
Author's Response:
Exactly, plus he's physically alone (Kevin's maybe-ghost notwithstanding). Norri dies with the whole family around her (in Fortune). She gets a chance to say her good-byes and give final bequests and share what's happening to her. But Tommy has no such luxuries.
As for the walking in thing, he adds a little gallows humor here and there, otherwise he's spending his final nanoseconds just wrapped in sheer terror, and he doesn't want to do that.
Date: 19 May 2014 18:52 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Another wonderful window on Tommy's life and a window to these women of his life. The brief glimpses are enough to offer us an idea of them and in te case of Norri hint at the deeper levels that she kept hidden and to herself. Such characters are often all too intriguing actually. Very nicely done.
Author's Response:
Thank you; I really need to write more Norri one of these days, have her swearing over some passage in her book, or something like that.
Date: 19 May 2014 16:14 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Very reflective. I like the observation about Norri keeping those places of her own secret, too, though.
Author's Response:
She is the notetaking character, the writer, the observer, etc. This is someone who loves fully but keeps hidden spaces.
Date: 19 May 2014 15:41 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Well, that's an awkward family dynamic, between the walking in on parental sex (I've done that and it's GROSS, but unlike this guy, I was old enough to know EXACTLY what was happening) and having a weird crush on a mother figure (Icheb can relate to this). But it's all very believable and these things do happen. Still loving this theme.
Author's Response:
Yeah, definitely ... awkward (the actual scene is in the In Between Days grouping; it's called The Facts). I think Tommy felt he could have a crush on Norri because she was so removed from everyone. She's always been an observer character.
Date: 19 May 2014 14:55 Title: Leonora Digiorno
A wonderful exploration of a complex issue, you did a good job of handling the sort of complex emotions that a young boy can encounter. Norri sounds like a cool woman and you did a nice job of creating the sense of family.
And the last paragraph... wow. Can't wait to see where you go next!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much. Norri is such a private character that I confess I barely know her myself. And, yeah ... who better to be your spirit guide than your own brother?
Date: 19 May 2014 04:57 Title: Melissa Madden
Jespah! I love these Enterprise-era tidbits. You write them so incredibly well. I actually felt sad at the end of this one, like the memory was bittersweet, or maybe it was his pending demise.
Author's Response:
Oh, I thank you! More to come - he's got another half-dozen gals to remember .... :)
Date: 19 May 2014 03:40 Title: Melissa Madden
I find this fascinating. Who or what would any of us think of, if we knew we were going to die? Can't wait to see where this goes.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you so much!