Date: 23 May 2014 21:24 Title: Erika Hernandez
Good old Erika. Get a sense of her character here more than ENT was able to hint at and yet it seems quite fitting for her as seen through different eyes. Nice.
Author's Response:
Many thanks!
Date: 23 May 2014 18:49 Title: Erika Hernandez
Funny how in the end Tommy is thinking of all the people who made a huge difference in his life, in particular these seven women, little forgetting the obvious impact he made on them. The fact is seen here in that Erika saw more in Tommy and saw beyond what hsi file read and beyond what even Tommy thought of himself. Instead, Erika recognises his true potential. And yet another Trek '09 reference. I'm now assuming that Tommy dies on the Kelvin in my head.
Author's Response:
Tommy is pretty selfless at this, his end - a trait he gets mainly from Malcolm.
Date: 23 May 2014 18:28 Title: Erika Hernandez
I'm loving how all these small vignettes of all the women he's known is coming together.
Actually read this earlier at 5:15 a.m. my time and its just now reaching 8:30.
Can't wait to see how you wrap all this up.
Author's Response:
Ah, thank you!
Date: 23 May 2014 16:18 Title: Erika Hernandez
Ok... Is Robau the one from the Star Trek movie? Or an ancestor? I like the info on the dad as well as the picture he draws of Hernandez, the faith and help she gives him and how that allows him to progress. I also continue to like the idea of the bridge and the people waiting for him. I guess tomorrow we'll see the end of it all. (sniff) Great job!
Author's Response:
Ah, thank you and, yes, these chapters say they're about one person but they're also, a lot of the time, about another one ....
That bridge is getting crowded.
Date: 23 May 2014 06:47 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
Love the idea of the bridge here, and that Tommy is seeing people gather around.
Very interesting series, which I'm enjoying immensely. Can't wait to read more, and see if what I suspect is actually true.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you so much. I aims to please .... :)
Date: 23 May 2014 02:15 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
The wonderful narration continues. Great read, Jespah. I liked the addition of Malcolm, and how he noted that Neil's version of Lili's cooking isn't the same. It always seems that way. My mom complains all the time that her red velvet cake doesn't taste like Grandma's, and I've noticed that when I cook something that my mom is good at it doesn't taste nearly as good. Little details like that really bring things to life.
Author's Response:
I swear to you I remember my grandmother's potato knishes. She died when I was 8. I'll be 52 in a few months. You just - some things, you never forget. Thanks!
Date: 23 May 2014 02:08 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
I really liked this entry. A bit unsettling, but very well written. Kudos.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you!
Date: 23 May 2014 00:38 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
Oh? Did I just get a Star Trek 09 reference there!? Wow.
What I love more though is the fact that some of what is happening in death is bleeding into his recounts - the fireball relating to Lili's stove and her own past. Again, another fascinating glimpse into Tommy's very different family life and into these characters.
And then, lastly the last paragraph... man points to happiness and sadness all in one. Very effective and very affecting.
Author's Response:
Above all, I want Tommy to be flesh and blood and real. I don't want him to be a cypher at the end of this, or unknowable, or an archetype. Only got 2 more tries ....
Date: 23 May 2014 00:04 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
Interesting stuff, and well-written.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much!
Date: 22 May 2014 23:20 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
Another touching piece, the end coming closer makes it much more so. Knowing it's all about to, well, end.
Author's Response:
Thank you and, yeah, it's coming closer.
Date: 22 May 2014 23:15 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Wacky is an understatement. The Empress Sato. Blimey. I got this image of this Takara.
Author's Response:
I'm glad; I know what quick sketches these all are.
Date: 22 May 2014 23:08 Title: Cindy Morgan
Another nice little piece, Jespah with a touch of reality to it all. In that it's more than Trek, people's lives playing out albeit their childhood and adolescent ones.
Date: 22 May 2014 23:01 Title: Leonora Digiorno
Emotive in such a short piece. A life crafted and then no more. Nice piece.
Date: 22 May 2014 21:29 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
I'm sure they serve Lili Empanadas in the next life.
Again nicely done, I so want a miracle escape but i sense it won't happen somehow. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you so much - and they should taste right, too!
Date: 22 May 2014 18:02 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
Now I'm wondering if Tommy is making all these entries as video logs. I can imagine it being set up that way. Every character you've written about has been thus far very interesting.
Thanks for sharing this.
Cannot wait to see where you go with Day 6.
Author's Response:
I wish he had the time! But he doesn't; this is all unfolding as nanoseconds. Thank you for reading!
Date: 22 May 2014 16:20 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
Hmmm. I think he's under attack by Nero! Interesting, if that's the case.
Watching him die in slow motion like this is a little unsettling, but the peek into his head is fascinating.
Author's Response:
Five days ago, he was an unknown. I'm hoping for him to be known by the end of this. Thanks for reading.
Date: 22 May 2014 15:03 Title: Lili O’Day Beckett Reed
Oh man, this is going to have a Kleenex moment at the end isn't it? :( Again a nice job presenting another important woman in your MCs life, I'm assuming the Malcolm Reed you mention is the same one as in Enterprise? The idea of the bridge is also a good one, setting us up nicely for what is coming. Look forward to seeing how you wrap all of this up!
Author's Response:
Ah, thank you. Yes, this is the same Malcolm, and Lili is his great love. I always hated how they didn't give him anyone. I think it's more that the writing staff just didn't give him the /right/ person to love.
Date: 22 May 2014 04:10 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Eh, royals have always been pretty incestuous. Why should these be any different?
It's sad to hear that our narrator has never loved anyone, though. Puts a whole new spin on this.
Author's Response:
He kind of hasn't allowed himself to feel those feelings. Without Joss or anyone else to be able to intervene if things get weird (like Joss did when it was becoming obvious that things weren't going to work out with Cindy), Tommy only has himself to count on. Even though his family understands and embraces the Calafan dream lifestyle, they still can't protect him from himself, and so he doesn't let his guard down. Not even in his most intimate moments.
Date: 22 May 2014 03:19 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
A little confusing, I had to read it a couple times. Definately a good tale of lost love. Well done.
Author's Response:
Thanks, and sorry for the confusion. As I mentioned to Captain Sarine, it's kind of the royal family type of confusion.
Date: 22 May 2014 01:10 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Dreams are nice but they always melt away. Another interesting view on one of the Woman in a dying man live. Enjoying this ficlet stories a lot.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much. Yeah, Takara is a (nearly literal) pipe dream.
Date: 22 May 2014 00:59 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
I like the idea of these Calafan dream states--and the sort of mirror universe they take a person to--but it seems sad that the one true love interest Tommy had was one he could never actually have. Seems almost cruel, in a way. I have to wonder, though, is there some significance to those who don't have a counterpart in one world or the other? Really enjoyed reading this, and looking forward to seeing where it goes.
Author's Response:
Thank you - a part of the counterpart/no counterpart dichotomy was to try to answer the thing that a lot of people say about the canon MU. E. g. how can so many people have counterparts? Well, the truth is, they shouldn't. Yes, in an infinite succession of universes, it's possible. But I like to pull in a mix of both. It kind of gives an opportunity to write the same character in two different ways. I write the Empress's children and the Beckett-Digiorno-Madden-Reed children as being analogues to each other. Tommy is analogous to the Empress's youngest, Izo, in some ways. But Izo is far from honorable; he grows up to run the Empress's secret police.
PS Oh God I write a ton about the Calafan dream state ....
Date: 21 May 2014 20:16 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Ok that was... confusing! :) I'm assuming it was meant to be, but woah boy was it difficult to follow along the different relationships.
Nice job creating a true pair of star-struck lovers - there really is no chance of them getting together. And for including the Mirror Universe, which is always full of win!
Looking forward to how you're going to wrap this up over the next few days!
Author's Response:
Thank you - sorry for the confusion. The way I write it, the Lafa System here is just a place where people settle and it's lovely and the people are sweet although most of the wildlife is trying to kill you. Very Australian.
In the MU, the Lafa System is subjugated by the Empress, and the enslaved people revolt. During the confusion, Chip and Lucy escape with Takeo and Takara. There are a few other humans there but that's it. The Empress bolts, and declares that she only had four children, and not six. She completely writes them off, until later, as none of her others have reproduced. But the marriages of the humans on Lafa II are as complex as for Queen Victoria's family tree. There are less than 10 humans in the entire Lafa System, so they intermarry.
I hope that helped.
Date: 21 May 2014 19:32 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Ah, lost love. We all have it and it's the kind that always hurts. Even if it was decades ago, it'll always hurt I imagine. You can hear the regret roll off him here. Poor guy.
Author's Response:
Yeah, he's Doug without being able to come over here. He's Malcolm, unable to eventually wed Lili. Takara isn't exactly the one who got away. She's the one who could never, ever be.
Date: 21 May 2014 18:49 Title: Takara Sato Masterson Tucker
Whoa! This took a turn, I wasn't expecting that. Sounds just like a paranoid empress to make her kids live in a cesspool.
Author's Response:
The way I write Hoshi, she's the tyrant of all tyrants. The decent children leave, or try to. The not so decent ones embrace her ways.
Date: 21 May 2014 18:41 Title: Cindy Morgan
Haha, young love. The part about the kiss made me chuckle. Sort of sad that it wasn't meant to be, makes you wonder how often "first love" actually works out.
Author's Response:
Yeah, I wanted a bit of a softer break in the action. Plus, you know, she told EVERYONE.