Date: 23 May 2014 16:12 Title: Chapter 6
And so we reach the aftermath of the attack. Nicely done to give us this calmer moment after the storm, allowing for some character development and some nice dialogue. I have really enjoyed this glimpse into the adventures of Pathfinder and will definitely be exploring more after the ficlet challenge is complete. One little nit I picked up, in the paragraph about the Chai latte you have Rhys say "sound I think I'm going to stay where I am" - I think you mean "so". Apart from that, brilliant as the rest.
Author's Response: Cripes. Freaking autocorrect. It's been fixed.
Date: 23 May 2014 15:12 Title: Chapter 6
I can see this as an incident that shapes attitudes for a while. Common enemies have a way of doing that.
Author's Response: Indeed!
Date: 23 May 2014 09:44 Title: Chapter 6
After the tumult a quieter missive but one rich with character and plot detail too. L'Gran surprises us at the end. It shows there's a whole lot of layer to your characters. Job we'll done.
Author's Response: Thank you. I am probably the least happy with this one. I also found a typo I had to fix.
Date: 23 May 2014 04:32 Title: Chapter 5
Nice! And this reflects well back to chapter three, where the Deferi were saying/implying things to set the Bajorans and Cardassians against one another. Rhys is right - their only hope is to set aside their petty bickering and squabbling and come together against their common enemy - the Undine.
Author's Response: We can hope. I think trying to get the whole alpha quadrant on one page is like trying to herd cats though.
Date: 23 May 2014 04:24 Title: Chapter 4
Things went to hell in a handbasket rather quickly. Something tells me it's only gonna get worse from here on out.
Author's Response: I'll do my best to keep it interesting!
Date: 23 May 2014 04:15 Title: Chapter 3
Interesting. You gotta wonder - was he looking for something, or planting something? Espionage or sabotage? Hope Shen sends someone to check out the area where the Deferi was lurking...
Author's Response: Dun-dun-duuuuun!!!!
Date: 23 May 2014 02:02 Title: Chapter 5
The plotthickens and I'm starting to like Rhys even better now. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks Mick!
Date: 22 May 2014 23:56 Title: Chapter 1
You have a great command of the language! I love your wording. Nice job!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: 22 May 2014 21:25 Title: Chapter 5
Nicely done RougeJawa, you've set up your characters and underline the threat even a single Undine pose to your heroes. Good Job.
Author's Response: Thanks FalseBill! I wanted the fight to last longer, but I need to compact it. :-/
Date: 22 May 2014 17:56 Title: Chapter 5
Now this is really getting interesting Rogue. You have me on the edge of my seat.
Cannot wait to see where you take us next for Day 6.
Author's Response: Thanks Zeusfluff!
Date: 22 May 2014 16:17 Title: Chapter 5
8472 have some deep seated issues. Man, learn to leave your neighbors alone. Although I do wonder if someone penetrated their realm again. You did a good job writing Dormar's movements -- it felt very true to the way they moved on the show.
Author's Response: Thank you! I had so much more I wanted to pack into it but with only two posts left I had to cut it short so it could be wrapped up.
Date: 22 May 2014 14:57 Title: Chapter 5
An intense battle scene very well realised here - I'm loving the characters you have created and the plot you have unveiled throughout these ficlets! I like the fact that "Dormar"'s plan seems - and I do say seems - to have backfired a little here as this may be the impetus the different factions need to come together. Look forward to the next!
Author's Response: Thanks Sarine! I hope the next one does it justice.
Date: 22 May 2014 14:46 Title: Chapter 5
The weak... shall... perish...
Chilling words. But Rhys is right, and the appearance of the Undine is probably the best way to get them all to set aside their petty squabbling and work together.
Author's Response: Thank you Jespah! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wanted to pack so much more into it, but I ran out of room!
Date: 22 May 2014 09:45 Title: Chapter 5
The species 8472 reveal was fantastic. But the melee here, the brutal head on attack and the mental assault is just as fantastic. Also I hadn't quite expected such a direct approach from the Undine and loved the head messing attack. Quite a puzzle as to why they think the humanoids are invading their space. And that belief has brought a formidable foe against the Federation and the Quadrant powers. Perhaps it will serve as a lesson as Rhys tries to reason with the Bajoran and Cardassian delegates, as to why they need to stand together. Terrific. Really loved the last line and how it punctuates everything.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope the last two pieces coming will be just as entertaining.
Date: 22 May 2014 04:05 Title: Chapter 4
Yep, I knew someone was 8472 up in here. I gotta say, crushing a wine glass in your hand takes some strength. Hope she wasn't cut too badly.
Author's Response: I probably should have used "shattered" instead of "crushed".
Date: 22 May 2014 03:23 Title: Chapter 4
Wow things sure turned bad very quickly, and you left us wanting more.
Author's Response: Thanks Mick!
Date: 22 May 2014 01:00 Title: Chapter 4
O dear I think things are going to get messy on the Pathfinder. Good use of your characters and was clever to have the enemy agent try to play on the Bajorian / Cardassian uneasy. Well Done.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. For a while I hated myself because it was too predictable, but for in-game reasons I couldn't have it be the Cardassian or the Bajoran. In retrospect I could have made it one of their attaches rather than the ambassadors themselves, but I'm going to be honest... I don't like the Deferi. I hate the job Cryptic did with them, so having it be one of them anyway was satisfying.
Date: 21 May 2014 23:54 Title: Chapter 1
Oh No! Well, one of them had to be, I suppose...Nice cliffhanger.
Date: 21 May 2014 22:42 Title: Chapter 4
Aw, crap. Just like the Trikes to try and cause rifts, then transform and attack to be jerks. Good stuff, I like the way these reps are interacting.
Author's Response: Thanks!
Date: 21 May 2014 20:13 Title: Chapter 4
Wow that went to hell really quickly, didn't it?! :) I like how you built up the tension there, only to have Domar ratchet it up another dozen notches with his intervention. You did a great job turning him into something sinister, and that cliffhanging ending... wow, chills! Great job, I'm really enjoying this.
Author's Response: Thank you Sarine! I rewrote that one several times before deciding on it's final version, I'm glad it seems to be a hit with everyone.
Date: 21 May 2014 19:38 Title: Chapter 4
AH! Undine! I knew one of them had to be. The tension in the room was played up well and the reveal has surely caught everyone off guard. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: 21 May 2014 18:30 Title: Chapter 4
Damn! Knew there was something suss about the delegation but the reveal is still effective here. From the menacing cackle to the sheer audacity of the reveal and bravado of doing so within the conference, it shows the Undine are a formidable foe and with a closing line mantra as that, they're scary ass baddies. But it goes to show how disruptive to peace they could be. In a way, their shape shifting ability allows for greater scope of the Founder potential which was squandered some on DS9 and not used to enough paranoid effect at times. Nicely played scene.
Author's Response: I always thought so too. The Founders were supposed to be infiltrating governments but they never used the tactic much. I can see where they wouldn't have wanted to make it a trope to fall back on and overuse it, but they could have used it more than they did. Likewise Species 8472's tactic for the same was only hinted at in one episode of DS9. Thankfully Star Trek Online has taken advantage of it and Species 8472 shows up when you least expect them.
Date: 21 May 2014 18:28 Title: Chapter 4
What? Way to leave us hanging Rogue. I anxiously await the next part. Great storytelling as usual.
Cannot wait to see where you take us next!
Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Thanks!
Date: 21 May 2014 18:21 Title: Chapter 4
Ack! Now the REAL trouble starts. Was this the guy who was looking at the unauthorized stuff a chapter or so ago?
Author's Response: Indeed it is! I should have named him in the previous chapter, but it was a last minute addition so that I had something else to call him.
Date: 21 May 2014 08:56 Title: Chapter 3
dun dun dun...
Suspicious little bugger. And great job with the Deferi speak. I'm really enjoying this!
Author's Response: Deferi annoy me something terrible, haha.