Wow I've taken a look at some pictures of the Ambassador-class and she is a beauty! So nice use of a ship already shown in canon! And I have finally found a member of Starfleet who is even more of a jerk than captain Jellico (from the TNG episode Chain of Command)!

I'm also wondering if Bethany will feature as a member of the senior staff of Hank's new command?

An interesting scene weighing out the pros and cons of Hank being a captain of... What is this vessel called again? Maybe I missed it but is it called the Pearl?

You know Paul half reminds me of Elias Giger from DS9's In The Cards, Paul is a little bit reclusive and the fact that he finds T'Kel to be such a friend speaks volumes about the man. He's sort of an oddball without having so much of Giger's eccentricity plus he doesn't say 'the soulless minions of orthodoxy'!

As for T'Kel, what fascinates me about her is her willing to go through with a divorce. I've never heard of a Vulcan couple divorcing before! So I can safely say you added something new to the whole Vulcan psyche and their society... Again Vulcan divorcing -- albeit a rare occurrence -- where did you get that idea from I might add?

I'm glad to see the ending of the Dominion war hasn't thawed some Starfleet officer's opinions of the Cardassians. It seems pretty clear that some had a harder war than others, and those people may quite legitimately feel that the Cardassians deserved everything that happened to them during the final stages of the Dominion war. So that is a nice little realistic touch; lingering resentments to certain races.

Another realistic aspect are the hidden tensions between the Walker brothers, who seem amicable and friendly on the outside, but if anyone is going to snap I think it's Chris. Also I can understand Chris' consternation at having the talent but not so much the experience so that officers can respect him. They all think he is a jerk or something when so far Chris appears to be quite level.

So these extra nuances are working quite well!

Now things are going down! And Hank... Got caught with his pants down that's what! And I understand so well Hank's feeling after the battle; he messed up but luck helped to cover up his mistake and his inexperience. Hank's feeling is one of; how did I get away with that and not be reprimanded?

I've had that feeling several times in my life, so I can really emphasise with Hank here. Finally, just to raise the stakes I see, you threw in a mole!

As I expected Hank has been slapped hard on the face with a big amount of reality. I knew he was outwardly overconfident and too informal, and that's where his strategy with the crew is going to backfire. The captain should be the backbone of ship's morale but now that the crew have realised that Hank is more emotional, well they're going to feel his mood to and now his uncertainty is starting to waft around as this cold breeze and that is bad form for a captain.

A great scene between Hank and his former captain. Right now Hank really needs a cool head and a bit of Vulcan logic and emotional detachment!

The mystery deepens, and for a man who wanted peace and an end to the war, Daren sure has a blinding hatred of the Cardassians as evidenced by his brutal attack on that fake Cardassian soldier.

Also I'm at the halfway point of the story, and since this is a big one, here is my midway review of it so far.

You have definitely got something good going on here, the main characters you introduced have some life to them and you've clearly put some careful thought into Hank and his strengths and weaknesses as a captain. You have not gone overboard with too many characters and each character has something distinctive, even if at times the story sort of forgets about them (take T'Kel for instance). T'Kel is one of the more interesting Vulcan characters I have seen but so far she has appeared in only one scene and I thought she complimented Paul's character rather well.

Another thing I have noticed is that some of the main characters seem too chirpy, cheerful, exuberant and they grin too much. I know you could explain that away as upbeat people who don't let bad situations get the better of them, but it sometimes feels a bit forced how sometimes -- take that conversation with Bethany, Nick and Hank for instance -- and the characters can talk about some very deep matters, and then sometimes in some of your scenes, they either laugh it off or let off a joke. So I'm not sure if it is a case of people unwilling to let adversity get the better of them, or if it is a case of the dialogue adding humour or upbeat moments where they are unwarranted. It's hard to tell.

Those minor shortcomings are more than compensated by an intriguing plot, some great political dimensions, especially that last conversation between Paul and Daren. In particular Daren's story is a harrowing one and it is made all the more worse in that his wife died days before the Dominion war ended, that's tough, that is really tough. So I'm glad you are adding some ethical dimensions to this story.

You also really examine the psyche of Starfleet captains, that to seems to be a big theme in this story. You have Hank's more informal and communicative style, and for the most part it works for crew morale and the crew feeling at ease with their captain. Though you also exposed some of the flaws to Hank's methods, so that is a nice bit of balancing. The flashback scenes with Hank and Kerling add some weight to the story and they do not feel like a diversion from the main story, so that is a one crafted route you explored with fleshing out Hank's past.

From reading this story I get a sense that the big three are Hank, Nick and Bethany and they all seem to know each other very well. Although Hank and Bethany feel like the more interesting of our 'big three', and I'm wondering when you will develop a romance between the two because I get that sense of such a possibility.

As for the dialogue, it appears to be rather devoid of clichés, you made a cliché of your own with Hank's 'go for it' command, while in general the interactions between the characters is smooth and I don't recall wincing at any time with the dialogue; which I gather is the driving point of your story.

Where you have used descriptive writing as worked each time and I got some images in my mind of what New Haven looks like, so if I can see this world you must be doing something right!

All in all this story is showing great promise and the set-up is developing very nicely. So I am very eager to see how well your pay-off works at the end!

Things are definitely taking a turn for the weird now! A dead Cardassian coming back from the dead, so weird...

Something about this scene doesn't add up. If Hekon and his ship are the aliens, and they have the advantage, why is Hekon even responding to the Pearl's hail? Why doesn't Hekon just destroy the Pearl? Thus guaranteeing a war between the Federation and the Romulans, and this is what the aliens want. So something is not adding up here...

Weren't there supposed to be three colonists? But it doesn't really matter now that the colony is obliterated, by what I'm not sure...

And poor Hank, he and his ship got their asses whupped! Though if the gravity was failing why were Hank and the crew suffering from the effects of extreme G-forces? Unless that was the faulty dampeners...

A chapter from the perspective of two messed up people; one of Bethany and Chris. The funny thing is they same the same theme; they face losing a person very dear to him yet Chris knows he loves (though I forget her name) her while Bethany is probably this way because of her hidden love of Hank. So that is a nice contrast there.