ACT THREE

FADE IN:

19 EST. WRIGLEY’S PLEASURE PLANET - NIGHT

The main avenue at night - now an extravaganza of neon and flashing lights, holo-banners and animated displays, all declaring “The Hottest!” “The Biggest!” “The Best!” The ultimate in trashy late-night entertainment for the masses.

20 INT. RADIOACTIVE RESIDUALS BAR

A DIVE BAR in the not-nicest part of town, where no-one respectable would ever want to be seen - which is why it’s so packed with all the same customers from the convention. Loud music, low lighting, strangers grinding on each other.

Most of the lighting comes from the beverages themselves, which shine with a toxic glow that brings to mind a warp core breach in progress. God only knows what they taste of.

QUARK sits alone at a table, watching the crowd. A shapely SILHOUETTE catches his attention. Unidentifiable in the low gloom, he can’t help admiring her outlined figure......

...then she approaches the table, sits opposite him. He still can’t tell who she is - it’s too dark. His heart is pounding, but he tries his best to act smooth and suave.

WOMAN
You are Quark?

QUARK
I am.

WOMAN
I appreciate your punctuality.
You have questions for me?

QUARK
I have questions for the writer
of the Vulcan Love Slave series.

WOMAN
And I am she.

Quark pauses, reorients... something about this woman’s voice is familiar, but it’s hard to tell in all this noise. Just then RWOGO reappears with two colourful drinks...

RWOGO
Free drinks tokens for convention
attendees. Included with the free
handouts you told me to throw out.

...and in the glowing radioactive light of the liquor...

...Quark finally sees that the woman is T’LANA herself.

QUARK
(gasp)
T’Lana!

The Vulcan woman grasps Quark’s arm, grips it tightly. Rwogo sits next to Quark, smiling quietly to herself.

T’LANA
Please lower your voice. You may
address me by that name if you
wish... but do it quietly.

Quark’s pulse is pounding, his ears are throbbing...

QUARK
I didn’t even know you were real.

T’LANA
I assure you, I am quite real. The
character’s holographic matrix was
modelled on my own appearance.
But I am not merely a holo-actress.

RWOGO
(impressed)
You’re also a writer, a producer -

T’LANA
And a level eight holo-programmer.

QUARK
So you work for Broht.

T’LANA
I work for several publishers. But
yes, until recently, I had a broad
arrangement with Broht’s firm.

QUARK
Are you responsible for the new
VLS programme? And please don’t
tell me you don’t know what I’m
talking about.

T’LANA
I cannot take all the credit - but
yes, I collaborated on the new
sequel’s creation.

QUARK
So Broht was lying! He knew
about it all the time.

T’LANA
VLS-Four is not a Broht & Forrester
project. My appearance at the sales
arena today was a final contractual
obligation to his company. Broht
knows nothing about the new sequel.

Quark realises he may have stepped in it here...

QUARK
Uh... he might know now. I sort
of suggested that one exists.

Rwogo shakes her head, exasperated. T’Lana just glares...

T’LANA
And how did he react?

QUARK
He didn’t seem happy.

T’LANA
Then perhaps we should continue
this conversation elsewhere.

T’Lana stands from the table, but now Quark is the one to reach out and GRAB her arm - an act he suddenly realises means touching the real Vulcan Love Slave in the flesh.

QUARK
That depends - do we actually have
anything to talk about?

T’LANA
Explain.

QUARK
I know Vulcans are just as capable
of deceit as anyone else. T’Lana
from the holo-novels certainly is,
and she’s basically you. So I’m not
going anywhere with you, and I’m
not laying out another slip, until I
have that programme in my hand.

Rwogo is impressed again. T’Lana considers it...

T’LANA
I offer to act as your purchasing
liaison, and introduce you to my
business partners. You may conduct
your negotiations for the product
directly. Is that satisfactory?

Quark considers it...

21 INT. PUBLIC SHUTTLE PARK

A multi-storey car park for space-capable shuttles. Quark and Rwogo scuttle down the aisle between the parked ships, squabbling over the PADD...

RWOGO
I’m telling you the shuttle is just
around this corner.

QUARK
And I’m telling you we’re going
the wrong way!

T’Lana follows behind with an air of Vulcan exasperation.

They TURN THE CORNER in question, Rwogo with a smug smile as she sees their BAJORAN SHUTTLE exactly where she said.

...standing in front of it is FRANTI the Nausicaan. Quark swallows his stomach back down and dares to confront...

QUARK
Mister Franti. To what do we owe
this pleasure?

FRANTI
Mister Broht requests a meeting.

QUARK
And you know I would just love to
accommodate him, but I’m a very
busy man. Why don’t you tell him
to make an appointment?

FRANTI
That will not do. Mister Broht wishes
to see you immediately.
(beat, looks)
T’Lana. Of course. He anticipated
that. I believe it would be best if
you accompanied me as well.

T’LANA
I am no longer employed by Mister
Broht. I have no interest in meeting
with him.

FRANTI
And I have no interest in your
interest.

Suddenly Rwogo steps forward, taking Franti’s attention...

RWOGO
He doesn’t want to see me, does
he? I don’t even know him.

The lumbering Nausicaan glowers down at Rwogo, trying to decide what to do. His instructions never mentioned another Ferengi. And in the moment’s distraction...

QUARK
C’mon!

Quark grabs Rwogo by the arm, making to run for it...

..but before they get a step, Franti grabs both of their collars and HEFTS them up into the air, feet dangling. The two Ferengi SQUEAL in that deafening, supremely irritating Ferengi way. Franti winces at the cacophony...

Rwogo TWISTS in Franti’s hand, begins to KICK and SCRATCH and HISS at the Nausicaan’s face.

Quark is momentarily shocked, then decides this is a good idea and joins in - KICKS and SCRATCHES and HISSES. With both hands occupied, the Nausicaan cannot fight them off.

FRANTI
Stop it! You really don’t want to
make me angry!

The Nausicaan suddenly JERKS, goes stiff, and drops like a stone, dropping Quark and Rwogo into a heap on the ground.

T’Lana delicately removes her hand from Franti’s neck and looks down at them...

T’LANA
I suggest we depart. Now.

Quark and Rwogo will not argue with that.

22 EXT. SPACE - WRIGLEY’S PLEASURE PLANET

A pleasant green-white world, a panoply of freighters and passenger liners all in orbit, calmly waiting their turn.

And one BAJORAN SHUTTLE zooming out at right angles to the rest, eager to get the frinx out of there.

23 INT. BAJORAN SHUTTLE - COCKPIT

RWOGO is at the controls, driving them onwards confidently, while QUARK knocks back another snail juice.

RWOGO
Where are we going?

T’LANA
Allow me.

T’Lana leans over Rwogo’s shoulder and enters a series of new commands. Rwogo watches closely, then nods, impressed with the Vulcan woman’s cleverness.

T’LANA
The course is laid in. You should
not need to do anything for quite
some time. Assuming we don’t
run into a quasar.

For all her bravado, Rwogo is not experienced out here. Was that a joke? Thankfully Quark is the one to speak up...

QUARK
Is that likely to happen?

But T’Lana’s disdainful glare is all the answer he’ll get. T’Lana pulls her own padd out of her robes and works it.

T’LANA
You both handled the Nausicaan
well. You demonstrated bravery, if
not logic, in confronting a larger
opponent. You showed keen insight
in devising a suitable distraction.
Such efficacy was not anticipated.

RWOGO
(grin)
I think there was a compliment in
there, don’t you, Ambassador?

But Quark is just watching T’Lana read from her padd...

CLOSE-UP on T’LANA

...on her long, nimble fingers as they tap the surface...

FLASHBACK

...those same fingers unlacing Quark’s bodice earlier...

CLOSE-UP on QUARK

...as he reacts to those memories, ears throbbing again...

CLOSE-UP on RWOGO

...who is watching Quark watching T’Lana, fully aware what he is thinking, but her own face unreadable...

BACK TO SCENE

Quark steps forward, putting on his most seductive voice...

QUARK
So... do you do all your own, uh...
“stunts” ?

T’LANA
(eyes on padd)
I cannot discuss trade secrets.

QUARK
I’m just curious as to the quality
of the product I hope to obtain.

T’Lana looks up at Quark, blank faced...

T’LANA
Satisfaction... is not guaranteed.

Quark grins wide, takes that almost as flirting...

QUARK
Rule number nineteen. I always say I
love a woman who knows the Rules.

On Rwogo’s reaction to that...

QUARK
(continuing)
But Rule number two-thirty-nine
says “Never be afraid to mislabel
a product”. You wrote a great
first chapter, I have to admit.
But how do I know you can...
how shall I put it... sustain that
level of erotic tension?

T’LANA
The point is moot until you see
it. Unless... you are suggesting
some sort of demonstration?

QUARK
(faux indignation)
T’Lana! How could you even think
I was suggesting such a thing!
(beat, sly)
Unless you’re offering...

But T’Lana is already walking away, to the back cabin.

T’LANA
Standard Bajoran shuttle craft,
Janitza-class, one berth provided.
I will rest - do not disturb me
until we reach our destination.

And she EXITS. Quark is fairly vibrating with frustration.

QUARK
Nnggaahh! All these females!

RWOGO
What about all which females?

QUARK
Laren! Rionoj! And now T’Lana!
Getting me all worked up and then
casting me off like they don’t
know exactly what they’re doing.
A male can only take so much!

RWOGO
Are you saying you have no self-
control, Ambassador? That males’
lechery is all females’ fault?
That would be... disappointing.

Quark turns to her, shocked...

QUARK
What? No, of course I’m not saying
that. I would never - and believe
me, I know all about self-control.
(unhappy mutter)
I’ve been controlling myself every
day since I was a teenager.

RWOGO
I’m glad to hear it.

QUARK
(sigh)
But this is what it means to be a
male, Rwogo. To always want
what you can never have.

RWOGO
I wouldn’t say never...

Rwogo KISSES Quark, hard and passionate. He pulls back...

QUARK
Wh-... what are you doing?

RWOGO
Giving you what you want. You have
a problem with that... Ambassador?

QUARK
Umm... no. No problem.

Rwogo grins, KISSES him again, and they slowly slide down the wall to the deck and off-screen...

BLACK OUT

END OF ACT THREE