ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

15 INT. DS9 – PIF’S FAMILY QUARTERS

Ro sits cross-legged on the floor, rough-housing with the puppies. They yip and play-growl happily, playing tug-of-war with a toy, swiping at her hair, climbing all over her.

Quark sits across the room, balled uncomfortably into a giant bean-bag chair. He's watching Ro with revulsion.

QUARK
This is ridiculous. They don't even
have any real chairs.

RO
Of course they don't. Why would they?

QUARK
For guests.

RO
They've only been here a couple
of months. They probably haven't
had any guests yet.

QUARK
(shifting)
Well, it's very inconsiderate.

RO
Oh, will you stop complaining! Why
can't you be more like these little
guys? Look at the fun they're having.

QUARK
Not that one.

He gestures across the room, where Tiff sits alone, staring sad and droopy at Quark from his solitary cushion.

QUARK
Why is it staring at me?

RO
He's waiting for you to apologise.

QUARK
I already apologised.

RO
Oh, so sincerely. That's Tiff.
(off Quark's
blank look)
The one who always follows you
around the bar. The one who
overheard you being mean. You
hurt his feelings, Quark. You
didn't even recognise him?

QUARK
I didn't even know it was always
the same one. They look the same.

Ro sighs, shakes her head. She grabs one puppy...

RO
Then let me introduce you to the
family. There are three boys and
three girls. This is Bifto...
(re another)
...this is Nifro...
(points)
...and that's Tiffo. Those are the
boys. Now this feisty little lady
is Fettra...
(another)
...this is Kettsa...
(last one)
...and this is Wettla.

She points around them all in turn...

RO
Bif, Nif, Tiff... Fett, Kett, Wett.
The Eoba family.

QUARK
“Eoba” ? I thought their father’s
name was Gaber.

RO
It is. But Aarruri names work
differently from ours. Ga is a
region on their homeworld, and
“ber” means “one of seven.” So
“Gaber” means that Pif is one
of a litter of seven, from Ga.

QUARK
That’s stupid. There must be more
than one litter of seven from Ga,
or whatever.

RO
So there’s a lot of Gabers out
there. So what? I’m sure I’m not
the only Ro on Bajor. Are you
the only Quark on Ferenginar?

QUARK
The only one that matters. So
what does Eoba mean, then?

RO
Well, they kinda made that up. Pif
and Sett are both from Ga, but
their puppies were born on the
Even Odds. So they took the
initials of the closest thing they
had to a home, and added “ba”
for one of six. “Eoba.”

QUARK
How do you know this stuff?

RO
Through the miracle of talking.
Maybe if you did the same, you
wouldn't be so scared of them.

Ro finally stands, gently picks up Tiff from his cushion, cradles him close and walks over to Quark. She snuggles into the bean-bag next to Quark, still carrying the puppy.

RO
Quark, say hello to Tiff.

QUARK
Do I have to?

RO
(warning)
Quark...

QUARK
Okay, okay. Hello, Tiff.

RO
Hold your hand out.

Hesitantly, Quark does. Tiff pokes his head forward, sniffs the hand tentatively, then gently licks it.

QUARK
Why did it do that?

RO
He likes you. It's affectionate.
They're just children, Quark.
Have you never thought of having
children yourself, someday?

QUARK
You think I'm father material?

RO
Maybe not right now. But if you
found the right woman...

QUARK
I tried raising a child already. I
taught Nog everything I know.
And look how that turned out.

RO
I think Nog turned out wonderful.
You taught him resourcefulness.
Determination. Independence. You
have more to give than you think
you do.

QUARK
Why... do you want children?

RO
(chuckle)
I've never found the right man.

QUARK
And if you did?

Ro smiles at him. They both read the subtext clear as day.

RO
Let's build up to that, shall we?

16 INT. DS9 – INFIRMARY

Bashir is working alone, when Pif reappears out of a side doorway. He seems happy enough.

PIF
Hey, Doc. Ensign Parabas says
she's feeling a lot better and
doesn't need my help anymore.

BASHIR
(smirk)
That's great. I was wondering,
Pif... do you actually have any
medical training? At all?

PIF
No, not really. Dez used to call
me in to cheer people up all the
time though.
(proudly)
People always got out of the Even
Odds' sickbay super-fast when I
was around!

BASHIR
I'm sure they did. I was just
wondering why Captain Vaughn
assigned you to the Infirmary.

PIF
I guess he's just trying out the
options. Engineering and security
didn't really work out.

BASHIR
Why not?

PIF
Well, I already told you about the
freighter captain. And the puppies
were distracting Nog.

BASHIR
You wouldn't always have the
puppies with you.

PIF
No. But I don't know any more
about engineering than I do about
doctoring. And Nog... he's trying
his best, and I'm grateful, but...

BASHIR
I understand. But if you'll allow
me to offer you some advice, Pif,
it sounds to me like you're still
trying to force yourself to be
something you're not. All these
jobs you're trying out, they're
not you. You can't just take a job
to keep yourself busy. You should
find something that plays to your
strengths.
(smile)
What would Pif do?

As Pif ponders that question...

17 INT. DS9 – PIF’S FAMILY QUARTERS

It's somewhat later in the evening now. The puppies have tired themselves out and taken themselves off to bed, all cuddled into adorable piles of fur in their doghouses.

Ro and Quark remain on the bean-bag, close together, Tiff fast asleep on Ro's chest, her gently stroking his fur.

QUARK
You're so gentle with them.

RO
Why shouldn't I be? They're just
babies, Quark. They don't deserve
scorn for being what they are.

QUARK
I know. And I am trying, honest.
I'm here, aren't I?

RO
You are. And I'm grateful. We all
have cultural issues. But that's part
of the fun of living in a place like
this. Meeting people and things
you don't expect.

QUARK
I can't help my instincts.

RO
You can override them with logic.

QUARK
Since when are you a Vulcan?

RO
Well, it's true. It's not Vulcan
logical to hate somebody on such
superficial reasons. It's not human
compassionate, it's not Klingon
honourable... and it's not Ferengi
profitable either.

QUARK
But...
(shudder)
The shedding. The slobber.

RO
Oh, please. You know and I know
that you've had customers doing
way more disgusting things than
that in your bar.

QUARK
Yeah, like drooling on the table.

RO
Who would...? No, don't tell me.
Look, my point is, you're fine with
those. And you'll be fine with these
too if you just let yourself get used
to them.
(beat)
Stroke him with me.

QUARK
Oh, I don't know...

RO
Go on, he won't bite.

Quark still hesitates, so Ro gently reaches out, grasps his hand, and carefully brings it to Tiff's sleeping head. Unsure of himself, Quark begins the stroke the puppy.

QUARK
It's soft.

RO
What did you expect?

QUARK
I expected... soft.

The puppy shifts under Quark's hand, and Quark pauses, worried he's done something wrong. But Tiff just resettles and sniffs at Quark's hand. Then he gently licks it a couple of times, and settles back to sleep.

RO
See? He likes you. In fact, for
some inexplicable reason, he's
fascinated with you.

QUARK
My innate charm, obviously. It
crosses species boundaries.

RO
(smile)
It certainly does.

Tiff wriggles again against Ro's chest. Slowly, so as not to wake him too much, she manoeuvres herself out of the bean-bag and stands up, carrying Tiff over to his siblings.

She places him into one of the doghouses, where he snuggles up with the other puppies and falls right back to sleep. She grabs a furry blanket and carefully lays it over them.

That done, she goes back over to Quark. She grabs his hands and pulls him upright. They stand close, face to face. He gazes up at her, nervous. This is getting intimate.

QUARK
Thank you.

RO
For what?

QUARK
For not hating me... for being
what I am.

She reaches out and strokes his earlobe. He reaches out and strokes her hair away, letting her earring show. She leans in, and coyly licks his lips. She likes him.

RO
You know, there's a much bigger
bean-bag in the other room.

Quark smiles, hardly able to believe it. But he isn't about to say no. Ro grasps his hand, and they exit together...

FADE OUT:

END OF ACT FOUR