Reviews For Broken
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Reviewer: Mackenzie Calhoun Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 May 2014 02:43 Title: Broken

A most remarkable piece, Kes. Wish I had such talent at my fingertips to weave together a story that feels as real. Tough, raw and emotive this had it all and then some.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 May 2014 00:09 Title: Broken

Wow kes - that was very well done, and the prose, and imagery it evoked, was just beautiful.  Like many who will read this as a challenge entry, I'd known some of JQ's backstory before - his problems with his mother and family life, and his intense friendship, love for, and protectiveness of, Maren and Icheb, but this revealed so many nuances and layers to that character, and the steps that brought him to where he was - the person he was - at the end of the tale.  Heart-wrenching, but definitely true to the man, and an eye-opening look as to who he is, and why.

I, too think this was a good fit for the challenge, because all of the violence, all of the times he broke noses (or arms, or faces) or had his own broken, were truly innocent, done without malice or hatred, and only meant to protect those people he loved - or in the case of his mother, felt a responsibility to protect.  Very moving and evocative piece.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2014 15:16 Title: Broken

Bravo, very well done.  This is a great microcosm of John's earlier life. It works perfectly as a stand alone piece. You do not need to have ever read anything before, and you can still easily get this.

This vote is going to be a rather difficult one, I can tell.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2014 14:06 Title: Broken

Wow. It serves as a ounch to the face in the manner of those who get the five knuckle sandwich to their quickly bone crunched noses, to have JQ open up like this to the reader. He's an innocent really because he does these things not out of spite or a particular hatred - he wants to help, protect, defend - and the one time where he would want to punch someone out of spite, with malign cause is to Icheb and that's the punch he walks away from giving. That said, his revelations about his feelings are bound to be even more of a gut punch that Icheb could ever have felt. Certainly, there's going to be a lot to process. Poor John however has had a lot to process all of his life. And heck, in a way he's like Icheb - those closest to him, who should love him the most and whom he loves the most (from his mother, to his step-father, to Maren, to Icheb), are all too often the ones who cause him the most hurt and reject him in some manner. No wonder he spends so much of his life hitting out. No wonder he spends so much of his life not getting too deeply involved with others. No wonder he spends so much of his life heading to the farthest flung places - be it the Beta Quadrant on the Titan or the Delta Quadrant on the Tesseract. JQ's running from home, running to find a home and somehow he convinced himself that on the Tesseract with Icheb and Maren he had found a home only yet again he ends up with scars and hurts but not the broken nose kind. The kind that happens to those who are innocent and open for being hurt.

Reviewer: RogueJawa Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2014 08:24 Title: Broken

This was written very well. I don't think it's a strange fit for the innocence challenge at all, you can see it slowly being stripped away.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2014 05:14 Title: Broken

I love JQ. First off, his ability to weave "Fuck" into his sentences is magical and deserves a meta-article I think. But on to the story, which I felt very much showed how JQ would fight for others, but never really himself. He's always breaking noses for some reason other than for him. He's breaking noses to defend his mother's honor, then his mother, then he breaks noses for fun (in defense of his team I would imagine), breaks noses in defense of Maren and Icheb, breaks his own nose for more fun (Orions), but when it comes time to finally fight for himself, for his feelings, with Icheb ... he walks away.

He learns, progressively, that a broken nose solves nothing. It only stalls the inevitable and JQ rather bravely decides to confront it not with his fists, but with opening up about his feelings. I definitely feel this fits the challenge as JQ is as innocent a guy as it gets and yet he never really defends himself, or takes up his own banner ... he takes up the causes of others. When it comes time to take up his own cause, he puts down his fists and just bears all.

Well done, very entertaining (and fun), poignant and rewarding in the end.

Author's Response:

Thank you.  It was wrenching to write but JQ insisted he tell this story.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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