Reviewer: Nerys Ghemor Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Sep 2011 21:50 Title: Chapter 2

I can't believe I took so long to read and review this story, given how long it's been featured, but I'm glad I "gave in" now!

I had this bad feeling from the name of the race in this story, every time I saw the description on the main page of the forum, and when I first saw the medieval race at the beginning of this story, I dismissed the possibility of any such connection.  But as I kept going, and saw the premonition of the bees and everything else, that bad feeling was confirmed.

You created a very sympathetic character in Hamarr--but still, one who came across as strong and not at all pathetic, which is a trap that people sometimes fall into, in writing people with disabilities.  I especially loved...though I wish she'd listened...how her father said that there was no need for her to be "healed" of her blindness unless that was something she wished to do.

The look at the primitive Borg brought a dark fascination with it; here we see the imperative to assimilate, and the horror of their prosthetics, but there's still an emotional core to them and their identities aren't suppressed to the degree that we see in TNG.  Even as a Borg, subject to the imperatives of the hive mind, Hamarr is clearly freaked out by the bees and I wonder if at this time other Borg respond to emotinal stimuli.

(Interestingly, in your continuity, the way Lore behaved towards the renegade Borg, and his stated objectives for them, make me wonder if Crosis and the others--having become more emotional--were in a way re-enacting this very early history of the Borg.)

Of course, the moment where her mind completely surfaces is the most poignant and tragic of all.  I know there's no way any of the Bor'jun could've escaped, being a pre-industrial culture, and that's what makes the final note of hope you put at the end of the story so tragic in the end, when you really think about it.

There is one major question I had, though.  Are your Bor'jun, even before this incident, transplants from Earth?  Their speech--and even the presence of bees like ours--seemed too human for it to be otherwise, especially the "Old English" sound to their names.  Those names and culture seem a bit much to be coincidence unless there is something in their background to explain it.

Also, with the slingshot maneuver around the sun, did Soong and company also go back in time as well as travel in space?  Given that we know the Borg existed for so long, it seems like that would have to be the case.

Overall, though, good job.

Author's Response:

A good review, Nerys, and I am pleased to receive it. You make a number of interesting and very astute observations.

You wondered if the Borg depicted in this story responded to emotional stimuli and my answer to that is, “yes, at first.” While very busy with prosthetics development, Arik Soong was also in the early stages of developing a prototype of the first Borg vinculum. Although a technological genius, Soong would be writing and testing new algorithms for the vinculum in a hit or miss fashion, then observing the behavioral changes from his rapidly expanding population of drones. It may have taken Soong weeks to complete his first version and until then the hold he could express over his drone’s emotions would be spotty at best.

Regarding the renegade drones from TNG: “Descent”, I think it’s fair to say that what Lore attempted was a similar sort of process – rewriting much of the hive-mind software to Lore’s twisted, or should I say ‘re-twisted’, objectives. This was perhaps not so much a re-enactment as an ‘echo’ of Arik Soong’s earlier work.

You asked if the Bor’jun were transplants from Earth and that is a distinct possibility, although not the one I had in mind when I wrote the story. It was my belief that, in the hands of Arik Soong, a Universal Translator would become a much more powerful device than what we see on Archer’s Enterprise. More than simply providing translation, Soong’s UT would provide deeply nuanced context that included the establishment of naming conventions that heighten comprehension. Towns, objects, naval vessels, etc. would be named in a way that Soong (and Marrik) would understand the easiest, and all of these names would be members of some cultural family. We see a similar thing happening in TNG: “Thine own Self,” when Data visits a pre-industrial village.

Your last question was if Soong traveled back in time as well as space. My second scene header provides an Earth calendar date of 1407 (AD), which is when Anvil accepts his mission to the Isle of Hohn. Since Soong meets Anvil on that mission then he had to have traveled back in time.

Thanks for reading! I hope I’ve answered your questions, but if not post another review or send me a PM.

Reviewer: RobertScorpio Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Mar 2011 04:51 Title: Chapter 1

Great start. I think Hamarr is an interesting character and I like the diffrent plot lines you did here. Bravo zulu...

Author's Response: Thanks Robert, I’m glad you liked the plot lines. They are all headed to the same place and Hamarr ends up at the center of the converging storm. She is intelligent and mature, but is beset with a fatal flaw - she believes that harm cannot come from anyone she loves.