Date: 02 Sep 2013 11:00 Title: Q'ono's Saga - Chapter 04
Well, that was definitely different. I understand the "alien artifact" was probably whatever crashed into the planet in your previous story (probably need to go read that first next time)
The plague combined with the falling Praxis is surely cause for the entire population to go into a panic about the end days. I'm almost surprised the doctor was still actively engaged in saving the afflicted; he seemed resigned to the fact that even if he saved anyone (or even saved himself, since he was also coming down with the virus), the planet didn't have more than a few days left. I'd imagine a planetoid like Praxis wrecking a bit more havoc on Qo'nos than what was depicted; geological instability, crazy tidal forces, more than a few falling meteors. Maybe these things were happening; the story was centered on a man losing his child. Do you think he would have really paid much attention to a rumbling in the earth? Yeah, probably not. I know you said this is still unfinished, so maybe some additions to the natural disasters being caused by Praxis would be good to include.
You did a wonderful job delineating the different castes in Klingon society. It was only hinted at in a few episodes, that not everyone grew up to be a warrior. There were still lawyers and doctors and scientists and farmers - you did a good job making sure it was known that these different people did exist.
Did the Klingon's develop transporter tech with the help from the artifact? Or had they discovered that before warp drive? It just seemed a little odd to have the transporters in the story, but they helped move the story along. I'd maybe reconsider it, if you were going to still work on this.
Either way, a very interesting story, and a neat take on these early Klingons and their history.