Date: 06 Aug 2013 04:43 Title: One
It needs a few commas, but it was a fine little jaunt. I like the various atmospheric bits you inserted in there, and the way you chronicled the path of Malcolm's fear. And man, is it a cruel thing to shove a kid in like that. But the triumph at the end was particularly sweet.
Author's Response: Thank you. This was my first story I got onto the archive and as a consequence LBD beta'd it. I'm sure she made some remark about commas at the time, and back then I tended to do what she had suggested send it back and post. Now, God knows, I edit and mess about. Hopefully it's a lot better two years on.
As for Malcolm, I had a profound fear of water and I'm sure if my dad had a better view of water he'd have done the same.
[Report This]Date: 28 Mar 2011 20:25 Title: One
Although I think fear of drowning is a rational fear (I share), I enjoyed your entry in the 'phobias' challenge.
Author's Response: thanks, and indeed thanks for the rating.
Date: 23 Mar 2011 16:08 Title: One
An interesting look into the mind of Malcolm Reed remembering having to cope with fear of water. Who knows if Stuart's approach might have aggravated his aquaphobia? Seems all he needed was push into the deep of a different variety.
Date: 18 Mar 2011 19:21 Title: One
I enjoyed this well constructed story, and applaud your every creative choice. What you have added to Malcolm’s past dovetails seamlessly to the character I know, and extends our appreciation and understanding of the man and his family.
When it comes to relations with his parents, the Malcolm we see in ENT is strangely distant, a behavior he appears to have inherited from them. Whether they are merely typical of the duty-first navy-Brit subculture of the day, or whether they are hiding the shame of Malcolm’s aquaphobia, I don’t think we ever really know, not yet.
But, as Leonard Cohen said, “there’s a crack in everything and that’s how the light gets in”, and perhaps a crack even in a father’s stiff upper lip.
With the ending of your story, “If only his father had been there…” you shine a little light on the real human feelings that exist between Malcolm and his dad, waiting to be explored.
Fathers throw their sons into the deep end of the pool with a “Now swim!”, and they do it in many different ways. It’s what their fathers did to them, and they honestly believe it builds character. If a father is lucky, he will live to be old enough to regret that mistake and others like it. And if a son’s lucky he will forgive his father before the grandsons come along, soon enough to end the cycle forever.
Your story moved me, Mack. One question: So does Malcolm wed Carrie?
Author's Response: Firstly my profuse thanks for reading and commenting Samuel. I'll say your comment moved me for as always folk see something in my stories I don't always do myself...I have the same fear of water, well it used to be near paralysing (the carrying over the bridge thing happened to me) though I never was thrown in a pool. As for marrying, well...in a prompt it sort of happens --http://forums.adastrafanfic.com/index.php?topic=895.0
Date: 18 Mar 2011 04:12 Title: One
An intense look at Reed's paralyzing fear, and his brave and triumphant attempt to overcome it as something more important superseded it - the life of another.
As someone who taught kids ages 3-5 to swim many, many years ago, all I can say about Stuart's actions is they were unconscionable, and probably attributed to that traumatic and deep-seated phobia. Kudos to Malcolm for conquering that fear when it mattered the most.
Intensely emotional, this was a perfect fit for the challenge. Kudos to you, too Mack! :D
Author's Response: thank you most kindly. It's likely indeed that Reed Snr did contribute to the phobia and something like that can be ludicrously crippling as I found on a ferry ride across the Solent. My thanks again
Date: 17 Mar 2011 19:57 Title: One
I like the nod to canon and an explanation that went a little further as to why Reed did not follow the family line. It was a neat fit for the challenge and Reed's phobia since childhood was handled in a good way. I like that it took time for Reed and his parents to discover it was a phobia as they can all too often be dismissed early on as a childish fear. I like too how he is forced to combat his fear. Good challenge entry.
Date: 16 Mar 2011 10:17 Title: One
So, he managed to get over his deepest fear. "All" he needed was a really good reason.
His father's way of "teaching" was probably the last thing Malcom needed. If anything, it deepend his phobia.
The question is--would he be able to repeat that or was it one time thing? ;)
A good story :)