[Report This]Date: 06 Sep 2011 14:57 Title: Act V
Argh! Cliff hanger!
So - question - was this story ever completed?
I think you got the dislocation really spot on. How would anyone react? You'd be scared, worried, nervous, and probably, eventually, a bit resigned to your fate. It's a little like Gregor Samsa in Kafka's The Metamorphosis (although Jimmy never becomes a giant dung beetle - or am I giving away spoilers? ;)) in that the first thought is - I'm late for work (a test, in Jimmy's case). Then you start to realize that there's a reality behind it all. And the reality is so unfamiliar that you begin to have an almost fight or flight response.
I think all of that came across particularly well.
Because the story is apparently not complete (I should have checked before starting, ewps), it's harder to comment on the plotting and pacing. The characters are well-drawn and consistent although I think the Fidelity turns into the Saurian at some point (or am I missing something?). The newly minted captain, the irritable chief engineer, the kindly alien doctor - these all work well in the story, and they intertwine rather nicely.
I think introducing Sela (that's the Denise Crosby character, yes?) is interesting because it compounds the idea of a universe/time dislocation. She and Jimmy are in the same boat even if they don't know it yet and even if, possibly, they never acknowledge it.
I also liked the clothes/personal effects investigation although to be honest I would have liked to have seen a bit more (I recognize you were cutting away from that in order to maintain momentum). I've always thought that a person in this position would have their mouth checked out big time - fillings, a dental implant if one, evidence of having braces, the presence of plaque and tartar, the absence of wisdom teeth - all of those things spell 20th/21st century.
This is a promising story. I'd love to see where it goes next.
Author's Response:
Well, thanks! Sadly, I never got around to finishing this and I wish I had-but if you'd like to know some of the finer details of the plot and such, I did have those planned out, so you can PM me if you want and I'll gladly spoil it. I doubt I'll be getting back to this anytime soon, but the review is quite a welcome one-my day has not been great and this has made waking up worth it.