[Report This]Date: 18 Sep 2010 11:37 Title: Chapter 7
Janeway and Chakotay’s conversation in the brig cell was a nice coda to this tale. The captain could not ignore the heroism of her first officer’s actions, but neither could she turn a blind eye to the unsavory deeds that led to his successful rescue of the crew. Fifteen days in the brig and a commutation of the remainder of his sentence was a good compromise for her, given their circumstances.
Hopefully this situation has cemented in Janeway’s mind Chakotay’s loyalty and his commitment to the lives and safety of the crew.
An excellent story with mystery, drama, and some terrific character moments. Well done!
Author's Response: Gibralter, I'm astonished - after going to your pages and seeing how many award-winning stories are posted there - and so grateful for your comments! Could you please recommend to me which of yours I should begin reading? It's confusing to begin in the middle of a series. Thanks for your help - and thanks for your comments!
[Report This]Date: 18 Sep 2010 11:22 Title: Chapter 6
A desperate gambit on Chakotay's part, taking on Species 8472 solo. Having to stun your captain, though... that's got to be difficult, even when faced with a mortal crisis and knowing you're acting to save her life and the lives of your fellow shipmates.
Jaerok remains as big an imbecile as he first appeared in the bar, and being sober doesn't seem to have improved his judgment any. Thankfully for Voyager's crew, Jaerok's foolishness saved their intellects from the effects of the lobotomizing lasers.
Their escape was a near thing, and kudos to Chakotay for risking the Effluvium rather than attempt to turn the ship around. The act certainly cost him, and hopefully that price wouldn't include the commander's life.
Here's hoping Janeway's in a forgiving mood when she awakens, or Chakotay's going to wish he'd got a more substantial dose of the acid!
This was a dramatic, nail-biting escape!
Date: 17 Sep 2010 10:23 Title: Chapter 5
One would think that at this point in their journey home, Janeway would have come to trust Chakotay's assertions without hesitation. They've been through so much up to this point, it's unconscionable for her to simply dismiss her XO's report out of hand.
And getting one of the locals drunk enough to spill information about the cloud and the true nature of the station surely isn't an outrageous breach of Starfleet protocol.
I'm wondering if Janeway's under the influence of some kind of mind-altering drug or telepathic manipulation at the hands of the sovereign? It's the only way I could explain her cavalier disregard for Chakotay's warning.
Then again, as mercurial as Janeway was often portrayed in the series, it's not terribly difficult to see her doing something this inexplicable.
Again, terrific, thought-provoking, and emotion-churning stuff here. Well done!
Author's Response: Any writer treasures feedback such as yours. Thank you.
Date: 17 Sep 2010 09:54 Title: Chapter 4
Oh, wow, I didn't see that coming.
Chakotay's got the information he wanted, but now I'm betting he almost wishes he didn't. Voyager waltzed right into this trap like a lamb to the slaughter. Here's hoping Chakotay can convince the captain to get out as quickly as possible, and avoid tipping their hand to their would-be-enslavers at the same time.
Harrowing stuff!
Date: 17 Sep 2010 08:59 Title: Chapter 3
So there is danger close, but Chakotay will have to work to dig deeper in order to discover the exact source of the threat to his ship and crew. I'm waiting with baited breath for the other shoe to drop.
Continued excellence. I appreciate the wonderfully natural flow of your dialogue. You've really captured Chakotay in this scene. :-)
Date: 16 Sep 2010 11:40 Title: Chapter 2
Yeah, I'd be leery of any aliens, no matter how hospitable, who seemed so insistent that my entire crew compliment disembark the ship simultaneously. And shame on Tuvok for being suspicious enough to remain onboard, but not sufficiently wary to keep watch over the actions of their ‘hosts.’ And by this point in their voyage, Captain Janeway should just plain know better than to accept any situation this strange at face value, especially given how cagey the aliens here are being.
Terrific stuff so far. Your writing flows very well, and is highly descriptive without weighing down the narrative.
Author's Response: Thank you! I gotta admit I wasn't happy with the plot as it developed but I couldn't think of any other way to make the story go like I wanted. Did you ever write something that developed a life of its own, no matter what? LOL!! This is one of those. I hope you like the ending, which I think is better than the beginning. Thank you for terrific feedback.
Date: 15 Sep 2010 20:11 Title: Chapter 4
Wow. Now THIS is an interesting follow-up to "In the Flesh!" Loving it so far.
Author's Response: Sincere thanks! Am uploading more chapters tomorrow. Glad you like it. Soquilii
Date: 15 Sep 2010 17:55 Title: Chapter 1
An intriguing beginning! Voyager's path is blocked, and the people whose space station borders the anomaly aren't terribly forthcoming with information. I smell trouble here, as does Chakotay, apparently.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm trying to get the rest of the story uploaded as soon as possible. Computer won't work with me. ;) Soquilii