Date: 20 Sep 2013 01:11 Title: Chapter 1
Well that was an inspired viewpoint story get Scotty to have a quiet word with Dr. McCoy make him look again at his poor choices during the Galileo seven incident.
I feel the private conversation in the Rec Room so as not to draw attention or concern McCoy does seems to feel like the product of Scotty thinking.
Both characters seem to act/talk in character but then you do seem to have a good ear for the TOS characters, nice background touch with Uhura leading a poetry discussion.
Scotty hit the nails on the head and the good Doctors reactions shows that he knows it and understand where Scotty come from with this conversation.
The final touch of Scotty inviting Mister Spock to discuss Technical Issues and slip in the thanks for saving his life, show the good man that Scotty is.
Author's Response:
Thanks. I really felt the rec room was the way to go; a way to keep McCoy's explosive and often volatile personality in check. And I do think the points being made carry more weight for the doctor coming from Scotty instead of Kirk. It would have been too easy for McCoy to dismiss the captain's words, certain any defense of Spock's actions would have stemmed from friendship rather than protocol.
Date: 11 May 2013 21:39 Title: Chapter 1
I know I've commented on this before, but damned if I remember where or how. And we grow and change, so no story is ever read the same twice. But having watched this episode not long ago, I figured it wouldn't hurt to do it again.
I like how you have Scotty do it. It might not be military protocol, but it's definitely the kind of wily, canny thing he would do -- he absolutely would pin McCoy down in a place where an outburst on McCoy's part, if it should go that way, would probably be unwise, to say the least. He would be able to maneuver like that, even if he doesn't often choose to, and outfox the person he's looking to have a quiet word with.
I like how you characterize his back and forth with Spock. They do mesh well; not always perfectly, sometimes they clash, but most often they're shockingly complimentary, even when they're very in contrast with each other. I love the nod to Pike's Enterprise. I like the entirely methodical way Scotty nixed McCoy's protests, calmly and irrepressibly. Especially since the man is second officer on the ship, and does have command rating, which I think lends even more legitimacy.
It's good. Really good. You could easily match and exceed... pretty much any current pro-novelist in this universe. XD
Author's Response:
Thanks, Steff. I so wanted to get his voice and actions right. That means the world coming from you! :D <3
Date: 27 Jun 2012 19:23 Title: Chapter 1
A very good story, well-written and in character. Interesting that Scotty assumes that McCoy and Spock will never like one another, whereas we all know that that ultimately is not the case, no matter what their relationship seems like on the surface... A good read.
Author's Response:
Thank you kindly. This episode took place early in the 5-year mission, when many of the major players were still feeling their way around with respect to everyone else. I'm sure that by the end of the third season, Spock and McCoy weren't fooling anyone, but it seems to me there still would have been some uncertainty among the crew at this stage - something I always try to take in account when writing. Where would a given relationship stand at the moment being portrayed in what I'm writing? It can be tricky; glad to know I managed it okay in this instance. ;-)
Date: 19 Jun 2012 23:32 Title: Chapter 1
I love this perspective on the Galileo 7 episode. McCoy does have something to answer for, and I'm glad that it was Scotty who brought it to his attention. I like to see Scotty in the spotlight a little more, so thank you for exploring this aspect. Great pacing and dialogue, too. Beautifully done all around.
Author's Response:
Yes I agree - McCoy has a lot to answer for, but I didn't get it until I was much older that a lot of his actions stemmed from his personality; how he is wired to deal with stressful situations if you will. That doesn't make it right, however, and someone needed to make him aware of this. Who better than Scotty, who wouldn't be seen as someone defending Spock purely out of friendship. Besides, I thought it was about time I gave Scotty some face time - he's a great character in his own right, and a lot of fun to write. :D
[Report This]Date: 20 Dec 2010 19:38 Title: Chapter 1
The setting of rec room 3, in my view, is a problem that runs through the heart of the entire story. Two officers would never discuss the performance or question the decisions of a senior officer in any place where junior officers or enlisted men are present. There are other private areas aboard ship where such a discussion would more responsibly take place.
I know that Scotty was counting on the noise of the crowd to obscure his conversation with McCoy, but I believe Scotty would have known better. Add to this that Scotty appears to be springing the discussion on McCoy (Scotty’s ‘the less likely he is to be suspicious’ remark), and we have a situation that is unbelievable for these two honorable officers. I think changing the location of this story to something more private such as a conference room would improve the story on many levels.
For the paragraph that begins, “To his mind, McCoy was much more prone…” Scotty believed that if he told his version of events then McCoy would have no choice but to respond with a different version of events. (I’m paraphrasing) This implies that McCoy would knowingly alter the facts to avoid punishment. In my opinion, this situation describes a duplicitous and selfish individual that, for me, bears little resemblance to the McCoy I know; a man that often put the lives of his crewmates before his own. (e.g. TOS, “Miri”, “For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky”)
Despite these flaws I greatly enjoyed reading your story. Your prose flows. You positively gush instantly comprehensible text that just seems to melt before my eyes. It reminds of being in the theater for a good movie. The time flies by and I’m not even aware of the uncomfortable seat and the gum under my shoe. All stories should read this way, but sadly too few of them do.
I could be wrong, but I get the feeling that good narrative and dialog literally spill out of you, a real contrast to my writing where no word agrees to appear without giving me an argument first! If it weren’t for the fact that I live in the post-pencil age of word processing I probably would not have the patience. Nor enough erasers.
I dearly hope my review has not offended you. I seem to have developed a knack for putting my opinion where it’s not welcome in my waning (or perhaps whining) years, an offshoot of my talent for stepping on my wife’s feet while dancing. You are a truly gifted writer with truly God-given talent and it would be shame that a few minor issues of plot mechanics were to trouble you. Maybe now they never will.
Cheers, Samuel Pengraff.
Author's Response:
Hi Sam!
As you and I have already discussed this, I won't go into a lengthy diatribe here, except to say thank you for the heartfelt concrit, and the exceptional (albeit undeserved) praise you've heaped on my abilities as an author.
I stand by my previous assessment - you are truly a gentleman. :D
LBD