Date: 12 May 2013 02:01 Title: Chapter 6
And to a satisfying conclusion, in some ways. I like that Len didn't lose his kid again; that was satisfying. I still have my own views on things, but it definitely dovetails nicely into canon.
It's an underutilized era in storytelling, and you definitely handled it quite well!
Author's Response:
Thanks. And you should stick to your views. Mine certainly aren't the only answer - they're only right for me. ;-)
Date: 12 May 2013 01:55 Title: Chapter 5
And so, we finally come to the penultimate move. Jim and Lori have split in an ugly manner, and Len's about to get roped back into Starfleet, and Spock's about to come back.
I've often felt that the whole crew, maybe with the exception of Sulu, Uhura and Chekov were emotionally dysfunctional in ways. On one hand, of course they belong together.
But on the other, they're something of a study in tragedy, too. In the end, none of them are together, and look at all that they sacrificed in the meantime.
Good stuff.
Date: 12 May 2013 01:46 Title: Chapter 4
I really like how you set up Saavik here. I didn't even see it coming, but there it snuck in, without being spoken, how it must have happened. It's a shame Stilek's gone; he was lovely. Maybe not in vain, but even so.
I love McCoy's banter with his daughter and son-in-law to be. Jim, on the other hand, sort of seems determined to sabotage his own life. I still feel for Lori. She's a good woman.
Author's Response:
Yay!! You're the first one to have caught the bit about Saavik! I remember when I first started writing, you urged me to ask questions - to look at things and figure out why they happened. Other betas also told me to leave things unsaid, and trust in the reader to figure it out. I asked myself 'why would Spock be interested in taking in a half-Vulcan half-Romulan child,' and Stilek's backstory was born. It was also meant to be a nod to his Vulcan friend - a man who was now gone but had helped Spock through the most difficult time in his life. Did he tell Jim and McCoy about Stilek once they came back together as shipmates and friends? Dunno, haven't thought that far ahead, but Saavik was definitely Spock's way to honor the man, and the friendship.
Date: 12 May 2013 01:38 Title: Chapter 3 - Spock
I still like Stilek. Reasonable, and with a backstory that makes a heart ache. And Spock having to ask difficult questions of himself, as well.
Date: 12 May 2013 01:23 Title: Chapter 3 - McCoy
Another good chapter with McCoy. I really like how he seems to be reconnecting with his daughter. And again that the past isn't quite so easy to shake as saying, "Next week's episode..." And at the end, him growing the beard. XD It was quite an epic beard, too.
Date: 12 May 2013 01:14 Title: Chapter 3 - Kirk
Jim is acting something like a meteorite here. I feel for Lori; she has no idea, really, though she suspects. I feel for him, too; I think he's trying so damn hard to convince himself that it's painful.
I know it doesn't end well, but even so, I like the relationship. It probably could have become right, had things played out differently.
Date: 12 May 2013 01:07 Title: Chapter 2 - Spock
The conversation Spock had with himself was quite interesting. I liked Stilek; at first a potential enemy, then an ally. Very nice!
Date: 12 May 2013 00:12 Title: Chapter 2 - McCoy
I love how you didn't just wish away all the trauma of that five year mission. I'm glad I'm not the only one who notices that these guys, all of them, probably were at least a little traumatized by everything that happened there.
I love Joanna coming home. And Len's nickname for her made me smile like a loon. I love them reconnecting, and I pretty sort of hate that it might not last, but I hope to God it does.
Date: 11 May 2013 23:26 Title: Chapter 2 - Kirk
Jim Kirk in a cubical; I can't be the only person that notion screams out wrong to! I really like Lori. I'm less pleased with Jim for insinuating that a same-sex relationship would somehow destroy the purity of his love for Spock, but that's mostly for the fact that I'm bisexual, and it reads to me like latent homophobia. I know it's not, but it is a little on the insensitive side. Then again, Jim certainly had insensitive moments in his life, too.
I like how he and Lori patched it up at the end. And I like that he did admit to being a casanova, but not so much so that he's a parody of himself.
Author's Response:
Ouch! That was not my intention at all - what I was driving at was that his relationship with Spock is utterly transcendent of the physical. Probably something a good editor would have caught, and could have helped me to word better to get my point across.
This was meant to be my answer to all the slash out there. It's not that I have a problem with same sex relationships - I absolutely don't - it just doesn't fit my vision *in this case.* I know in the past you told Anna you didn't see them as a slash couple, either...
In some ways, it's good that it came out as insensitive, for Jim certainly wasn't at his best at that moment. My intent was to show that the question caught him totally off guard and that in true Kirkian fashion he acted first and thought later - in this case engaged his mouth before his brain.
Date: 11 May 2013 23:16 Title: Chapter 1 - Spock
Wow.
See, I hadn't read the stories before this. You killed DeSalle. You killed De! Oh my God! That hit me like a kick right in the gut. I bet Scotty was levelled, De had been his assistant chief. No wonder Spock's so messed up! I mean, De might have been the monotone king, but he was constant and an eclectic officer with a lot of broad based discipline, and to lose him like that.
Holy crap. Ouch. Well done. And ouch.
Author's Response:
Yep. A death I hadn't intended, but that was the way the story headed and no amount of arguing on my part was gonna change that. The events are explained fully in "Six Degrees of Separation,' should you wish to indulge in all the gory details - no pun intended. ;-)
Date: 11 May 2013 23:01 Title: Chapter 1 - McCoy
Aw, Bones! I love his early descriptions of his house, and the weather. He always did strike me like that; like he misses the breathing world around him. His conversation with the construction worker was both sweet and painful. His conversation with Jim, though, was all painful.
Date: 11 May 2013 22:45 Title: Chapter 1 - Kirk
Oh, poor Jim! Lord, it sounds like that man has a massive dose of self-loathing. As to technical, it could probably use an edit just to pare the words down slightly and streamline it, but it reads perfectly fine as is. I was glad to see Amanda again, of course, and I liked her light-heartedness over such things as steak and pajama-like uniforms. XD I hate those uniforms, and man, I can't blame anyone else, least of all the people stuck in 'em. Jim's comment about the Klingons was terrific. His heartache at the end, though, palpable.
Date: 10 Aug 2012 12:30 Title: Chapter 6
Wow. I really loved this. I am so impressed that you made it a major theme that they could in fact live without each other--maybe less fully or happily, but nevertheless. I have always believed that you shouldn't be in a committed relationship (of any kind) unless you were sure you could stand on your own first, and you seem to have played this out in this story. The 3 who came back together had been broken by their love and by their separation, but came back together healthier for it. Amazing. You not only have a stunning grasp of these characters, but also a deep insight into human nature. Beautifully written. Thank you.
Author's Response:
Thank you. As I've said before, TMP really depressed me the first time I saw it, and it was many, many years before I could bring myself to watch it again.
In an odd way, writing this piece was healing for me - a way to explain what I couldn't wrap my head around when I first saw the movie.
Date: 10 Aug 2012 12:11 Title: Chapter 5
I really like how you have V'Ger and Jim touch his mind at the same time. Powerful! And I loved how the Master said flat out that Spock's path lies with Kirk. That makes two insightful women who've told him that.
Author's Response:
Can't take credit for that - that was Roddenberry's doing in his novelization. I just tried to expand on why it happened.
Never thought about it, but I guess T'Sai and Edith were both wise when it came to understanding the mystical bond between Kirk and Spock. Too bad the two of them don't understand it as clearly - yet, that is. ;-)
Date: 10 Aug 2012 11:50 Title: Chapter 4
So much in here...I can totally see why Jim can't talk about Spock with Lori. I love how McCoy misses so much about starship life, which he thought he had to leave behind. And Spock is stoic as ever, but is missing a huge point...the pain is proof that the love was real. We will all lose everyone we love, and it will hurt. It means we did it right, not that we're doing it wrong. Spock's grief over the loss of Stilek, as well as his ongoing grief at the loss of Jim and Bones, mean that he is a good and loyal friend.
Author's Response:
That's it exactly! The pain of loss and separation is real for all of them, proving that theirs was not just a friendship of convenience, or the camaraderie of those serving together, but something much deeper and so much more powerful.
Date: 10 Aug 2012 10:45 Title: Chapter 3 - Spock
What an excellent reversal! We've been conditioned to believe that Spock doesn't fully understand what it means to be human, but you turn that on its head. I don't think Spock's concerns about his and Jim's bond are baseless, but Stilek's got a point about the enduring and valid emotionality of these telepathic bonds for Vulcans.
Sometimes it seems to me that Sarek has a lot to answer for. He let Spock grow up with this weird emotions=human/ logic=Vulcan dichotomy, so that Spock felt ashamed any time he felt emotions that were perfectly natural even for Vulcans. And then he withheld his approval--and one gets the sense that Sarek, too, fell into the Vulcan superiority prejudice, even when it came to his son--leaving Spock desperately desiring to be a true Vulcan, but never quite knowing how, or ever feeling like he could succeed.
Sorry for the random thoughts...all your chapters make me think about things that had never occurred to me before!
Author's Response:
Spock would never have accepted these insights from T'Sai or the other masters. Kudos to her for recognizing that he and Stilek could help each other to grow and heal, even in this most austere of places, and helping them to find each other when each needed someone desperately. But then again, that's why she's a master of Kolinahr, no? ;-)
I agree - Sarek does have a lot to answer for, and I don't paint him in the best light when I write him. But like Spock, his journey to enlightenment and complete understanding of his son was a long and arduous one. Maybe I need to revisit their relationship to one another at a later point in time. I think each had a much better understanding of the other by the end of St: IV.
And the thoughts aren't random - they help me to solidify and better understand what at times were only vague insights I had into these characters. :D
Date: 10 Aug 2012 10:21 Title: Chapter 3 - McCoy
I love the idea of McCoy and Spock working on that program together. And I like how you planted just that hint of wistfulness for his old life.
I also love the idea of Joanna being his nurse; it just seems like a good way to get a relationship off the ground. But it's really hard to believe these 3 haven't talked to each other for a year. I know that's how it happened, but...wow.
Author's Response:
This is where we see that, even though he is loathe to admit it, McCoy really does miss his old life despite the positive things that have happened to him in the interim.
Date: 10 Aug 2012 10:12 Title: Chapter 3 - Kirk
Sigh...oh, Jim.
That dream was truly harrowing...and what kind of denial does a guy have to be in to have THAT dream, and then the next day say that he hasn't thought of his best friend in a week?
Or to lay gazing at the stars and then go for an adrenaline-fueled horseback ride, and then tell his girlfriend he wants something permanent?
Anyway, Jim's obvious problems facing his own nature aside, you did a fabulous job of writing the poor guy. It's interesting to see that each of these men, so incomplete without each other, are nevertheless establishing some important relationships on their own.
Author's Response:
I think of the three of them, Kirk is the most in denial, and is willing to do just about anything to convince himself that he is not just surviving, but thriving. He's always looking to beat the no-win scenario, even if that scenario is a statement about the current path his life is taking.
As for not thinking about Spock, I believe he sees a disconnect between his conscious and subconscious minds. He may not be able to control the dreams his minds throws at him, but damned if he isn't in charge during the rest of the time. To his mind, not consciously thinking about Spock - or Bones for that matter - is his best and only way to cope with the situation.
Date: 10 Aug 2012 09:04 Title: Chapter 2 - Spock
The conversation between Spock and his two halves was interesting--I imagine that he had never heard those voices quite so clearly or distinctly before this time of intensive meditation. I also wonder if Stilek's words about there being value in both halves of his nature buried themselves deep in Spock's mind. He does seem eventually to act on them, even if it takes a while.
I was really glad that a Vulcan told Spock that he was everything that a Vulcan should be. Perhaps that will free Spock to choose his path without feeling like he has to prove that he's "Vulcan enough" to be considered one. Again, I'm sure it's going to be a while, because I'm sure that the Vulcan subconscious is even more complex than the human one, but it has to mean something to him to have Jim's opinion affirmed by someone outside of his own circle. Reading on...
Author's Response:
Others have commented that they found the conversation between Spock's two halves somewhat jarring and disturbing, but that's what I was going for. At this point he has been fasting for two weeks, and is doing some heavy-duty meditation in preparation for the unpleasant task he is about to undertake. I doubt he'd ever granted his human half that much expression before, but after all, that side of himself was fighting for its life at the moment.
Yes, Stilek was meant to mirror the voice of Jim Kirk and Spock's human half. It'll take him a while to hear it, but it was important that the sentiment come from someone besides his best friend or his 'tainted' half.
Date: 09 Aug 2012 09:00 Title: Chapter 2 - McCoy
So far McCoy seems to be the only one really doing well. Or well-ish, anyway, considering the dreams...
Author's Response:
That was my intention. To make McCoy seem like he was doing well, only to have him realize after a few years that he did miss being in space, despite grousing so much about it when he was there. Even for him, it's not just about losing his friends, but losing the life he had before - a life he had come to love, even if he didn't admit it to himself at the time.
Date: 09 Aug 2012 08:51 Title: Chapter 2 - Kirk
I'm glad she asked the question! I'm surprised that Kirk was so forthcoming with answers, but you can only isolate yourself for so long. It'd be interesting to know if others thought the same thing about Jim and Spock--we know they do in fandom!
Author's Response:
Yes! I felt it needed to be addressed. Roddenberry only skimmed the surface in his novelization - hinted at the fact that the rumor was floating around Starfleet; the fan fiction community has weighed in much more heavily. I wanted the chance to throw in my two cents. ;-)
I think Kirk was so forthcoming with answers 1) because he was caught so off guard by the question, 2) because he was mentally and emotionally compromised at the moment due to Spock shutting down the link and 3) because at this time, he did believe he had genuine feelings for Lori, even though he realizes later that this may have not been the case.
Date: 09 Aug 2012 08:44 Title: Chapter 1 - Spock
I wondered when or if he'd look at the tape! I feel so bad for him--that line "there was nothing else left for him" was so poignant.
Author's Response:
This is meant to represent Spock at his absolute lowest point. It's funny how T'Sai, a master of Kolinahr herself who isn't supposed to be governed or iinfluenced by emotions, realizes this and is trying to help Spock see this for himself; that there's so much more to him than simply being Vulcan. It's a shame it'll take the stubborn cuss almost three years to fully understand this. ;-)
Date: 09 Aug 2012 08:31 Title: Chapter 1 - McCoy
This is a great characterization of McCoy. He was always hounding Jim about taking care of himself, exactly like you've portrayed it. I'm not surprised he was the one to make the call to Kirk, rather than the other way around.
Author's Response:
This really shows McCoy's sense of helplessness at preventing what he saw as the inevitable between Jim and Spock. So much of his own pain and guilt stems from the fact that he doesn't know how to fix it, despite trying to make Kirk see the error of his ways. And yet, despite the self-recrimination, he realizes that he can't fix it; that Jim and Spock must each come to an understanding of the situation between them on their own. Only then can they hope to repair their relationship to one another, or at least turn things around so that they aren't each blaming themselves for things playing out in the only way possible given the circumstances.
Date: 09 Aug 2012 03:49 Title: Chapter 1 - Kirk
This is a great establishing scene, and it makes me want to read more. I loved hearing more about Spock as a child from Amanda, but it's so sad to see Kirk so alone. He's an extravert's extravert, he needs people around so he can be fully himself. But I guess that's the point--without Spock and McCoy, he really can't be fully himself, can he?
Author's Response:
Yes, I think of the three of them, Kirk would have had the hardest time dealing with suddenly having the safety net of his friends pulled out from under him. And it's taking its toll - he's no longer the man he once was - not fully at least. The question now becomes can he forge new relationships that will help him to find himself again?