[Report This]Date: 13 Jul 2011 16:43 Title: Interlude: Flashback Four
Jack McGarrett..I LOVE IT! Great stuff going on here, and absolutely great space battle stuff which I JUST can't write well, so I leave it to the pros like you. I can so hear Sloan's voice the way you write him....Interesting backstory stuff here and will be interesting to see you weave into the greater story...good job!
Date: 27 Dec 2010 12:20 Title: Chapter 6
A game of cat and mouse is now to be played by Starfleet with one of their own. How can they do it without tipping their hand to Verad? Shall be interested to find out. Love the notion that Quark's is a Ferengi embassy to allow him to be able to sell and do business within the 'moneyless' Federation.
Author's Response: That arrangement was also established in the DS9 novel "Unity" when Quark thought he would no longer be useful on a station under complete Federation jurisdiction. I didn't buy the whole Quark and Ro romance though. Yes, the writers didn't want that relationship to be a carbon copy of Quark and Odo, but it still presents a dangerous conflict of interest.
Date: 27 Dec 2010 12:13 Title: Chapter 5
Oh ho - Verad plans to attack DS9? Hmm ... sounds like trouble. Not entirely convinced that Verad would trust Sisko so quickly or that he would present Sisko with the chance to sabotage a mission against his former home. However, I am willing to forgive that for the sake of a nice action adventure.
Nice stuff with the Romulan Donatra, she seems like she is an honest Romulan but wait are there any of those?! LOL. Likewise, I liked the reaction of Worf in regards to Bashir - as much as he accepted Bashir and Ezri together I always doubted he was ever comfortable with the idea.
Author's Response: This whole chapter can be seen as an exercise in the expression, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Donatra chose her centurion even knowing of his potential to betray her. It's in the category of Garak may be an ally, but he's still a Cardassian and he'll cross certain lines our heroes won't. Verad knows to keep Sisko on a tight leash, but he's even deceiving his own people in this operation. As for the scene with Worf, it's more of a disapproving older brother angle. He knows the Trill taboo against re-association. Though it may not be as rigid when applied as rigidly to couplings with non-Trill, he knows that blatantly ignoring the taboo would be "dishonorable". His belief that Bashir is not the man for Ezri is more out of a belief that Julian is an overgrown child. Seeing him in that tuxedo certainly confirms that notion (even one of Julian's exes called the program "ridiculous"). Although, who is Worf to judge when he re-enacts ancient Klingon battles in the holosuites?
Date: 27 Dec 2010 12:06 Title: Chapter 4
Sisko has a tough challenge trying to convince Vered that he is there to do business. Feels Trek-like in the manner in which the deal is done and how the two parties try to convince or check the other out. Of course, I don't think Vered will be too trusting of Benjamin given his personal history with the man and given Sisko's history with the likes of those who turned to the Maquis.
Author's Response: And it's not exactly the end of each other's mutual suspicion. And even though Verad didn't seem remember anything of his time being joined to the Dax symbiont, he might have some understanding of the psyche of Benjamin Sisko seeing someone who is willing to ignore his own moral convictions for a greater good. From gassing a Maquis colony in order to force Eddington's surrender to his actions leading to the assassination of Senator Vreenak, Sisko has sure done some things he wasn't proud of. His experiences in the Dominion War and learning of the machinations of Section 31 may have left him a little more cynical. That is what he is trying to sell the group he's infiltrating. He even points out that his anger at Eddington and Hudson was because they betrayed Starfleet and his overall attitude towards the Maquis was a bit grayer than say, Gul Dukat's. Of course, that Verad is willing to create a pseudonym for Sisko is foreshadowing of the left turn this storyline takes.
Date: 27 Dec 2010 11:56 Title: Interlude: Flashback One
Liking the suspicions that are befalling both the Klingons and the Romulans with the growing concern for Dominion infiltrators. The intrigue and backstabbing and vying for power and influence is very fitting within the politics of the story. Liking the devlopment of it all round. And the complications are going to only get even more complicated as both sides begin their own plans.
Oh just one little thing, there are a few errant speech marks about this chapter - some missing at the start of speech and one at the end of a sentence where there is no speech.
Author's Response: A lot of political intrigue going on before and after the Dominion war, certainly affected by the failed Klingon invasion of Cardassia. It also follows up on the female changeling's claim that, "Cardassia is dead! Your people were doomed the moment they attacked us." I would imagine the Founders sought some kind of reprisals against the Cardassians and the Romulans, but it's in a much more subtle manner than an all-out genocidal attack (the events of the series finale giving them an excuse for that).
Date: 11 Aug 2010 22:31 Title: Chapter 3
The Ku-Vok-leth are a dangerous sounding element. Klingons can be dangerous at the best of times but when they are using cunning and guil to hunt down an enemy one has to worry. But they aren't the only wheels in motion here, or maybe they are, there are plots and conspiracies happening all over the place with S31 agents and Tal Shiar. The plot thickens and gets more interesting.
I really liked the little reunion scene we got at the airlock. It was simple and understated but there was a sense of warmth about it all. Again, I'd have loved more expansion on it but that's a niggle or a wish of my own. Hee hee. But oh my! Poor Nog!
If I have one other little problem, it is the idea of Sisko doing the turning rogue to join a terrorist organisation ploy. Considering his history with the Maquis, I'm not sure anyone would buy it. But hey, it is Trek so maybe they would. But if he is going back in Starfleet by undertaking this mission he really is putting his head on the block. Good stuff and cracking pace and story development.
Author's Response: One could refer back to "For the Uniform" and "In the Pale Moonlight" where Sisko was willing to say, "To heck with my own moral convictions when a greater good is at stake." Of course, he wouldn't cross the boundaries that Admiral Leyton and Section 31 were willing to cross. Things can change having been through the Dominion War and then being out of the public eye for several years. The other issue would be that is that an old enemy is expected to take Sisko into his confidence. But how that story plays out will eventually take a bit of a left turn.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 22:20 Title: Chapter 2
Dear oh dear, Quarks dealings have landed the station in peril AND he isn't likely to make a profit! :p But some rogue faction is indeed planning something ugly and messy.
So Sisko is now keen to give up Starfleet. How will his mind be changed. I liked the flow of conversation between Sisko, Cassidy and Jake. Though I'm not sure if it was enough to change Sisko's mind. I guess a little more introspection or detail to flesh out this change in his attitude would be nice.
That said, keeping the prose sparse keeps the story zipping along at a good speed.
Author's Response: One thing I wanted to address is that having gone through the Dominion War, a lot of Starfleet officers decided they had enough, they've done their bid for king and country, and they want to left in peace. And I would think that Sisko would still have his own doubts about being both Emissary and a Starfleet officer.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 22:13 Title: Chapter 1
Again, I like the shifting POVs as we see different people in different places in what at present is a mosiac of pieces that will at some point add up to something more.
Firstly, Benjamin choosing not to take that communique is interesting in and of itself. It shows that he has certain priorities and that he is keeping to character given his plans at the end of DS9. But, we as the readers ask, for how long will that remain the case?
The DS9 bit with Elias Vaughan was fair. I don't know the character but you gave a good impression of him. Though we didn't get much from Ro. Is there something more nefarious about the security problems? Especially ahead of Martok and Worf coming... hmmm ...
Then the switch to Nimbus III. Like the use of this canon locale and with scant description you give a flavour of the place so we conjure up the dustbowl and dead-end part of space. The Klingon interactions were very good.
Then to finish some Romulan intrigues. Brief but scintilating.
Author's Response: Yes, a lot is going that will lead to something huge. That was how "24" worked. Each season opened with several different story lines that had viewers wondering how they were related to the major threat. I wanted to make a point of giving quick TrekLit characters that not everybody is familiar with. I guess Ro after TNG would be in that group, but that will be addressed during an awkward interaction with one of her crew-mates.
Date: 19 Jul 2010 18:04 Title: Prologue
So we see the Omega Directive in action onboard a Starfleet and a Klingon ship too apparently. Now, it brings up some intriguing possibilities. I'm not so sure that the Klingons would have had a similar kind of protocol as the Federation but given the properties of Omega it is still a possibility.Also, given that the event seems to have happened near the Romulan border I expect to see some further complications in the form of our Romulan friends.
I like the early Klingon POV and hope that there is more to come of it. In a way, I was almost disappointed with the switch back to the Starfleet ship POV. Still you are building on characters I know about though haven't read - Lefler [apart from screen appearances] and Calhoun. I presume some of the Klingon characters also feature in the treklit universe but I like what you have done so far.
Author's Response: Yes, the crew of the IKS Gorkon and under the command of Klag are from the Klingon Empire (originally titled Gorkon) novel series. We'll be seeing them again after the prologue hinted by Klag getting a vague sense that Rodek (Kurn) might be part of the House of Martok. The part of the story involving the Excalibur and the NF ensemble is over (just chosen as a Starfleet ship that's regularly near the Romulan border)
[Report This]Date: 21 Jun 2010 19:17 Title: Chapter 1
Great segment. I hope you keep Ben Sisko a regular in your story. I like the way you are writing him and his family life. I also like the new DS9 staff as well. I recognize them from the DS9 books I read years ago!!! So good to see them being used too.
And wow..Nimbus III. I actually like TREK V and I am glad to see you using an aspect of that movie...keep it up...
Rob
Author's Response: It'll be an interesting tale uniting the old characters with the new. Just wait and see how Worf finds out Julian and Ezri are broken up.