Date: 07 May 2009 18:14 Title: XI. Betrayals
Eek! The big moment. The build up of this chapter is just fantastic. We know where it is headed. We know what's coming. But you are just left hopping and skipping in expectation and excitement. Great pace and structure lends itself to the build up. The transporting accident that will change things.
Quite a pivotal movement here. And yet you deftly carry it off with an economy of wrds. A precision of language. It is lean writing. Every word counts. There's nothing superfluous or filling. Just excellent.
In addition, I love the assessment of Kirk. First, the description of his descent, mirroring much of Pike's own record, that brings us to this dark moment. And then the assessment of Kirk as a daring inspiring captain who needs others to be loyal to him. No wonder when he is betrayed he descends to the depths and turns to dark places indeed. Excellent. Just excellent.
Author's Response: Thanks much! These next few parts were written fairly fast; I got on a roll and wanted to finish all of this. Anna Amuse did a whole lot for me, in how to characterize this Kirk, and I owe her a lot for that.
Date: 04 May 2009 15:52 Title: X. Watchtowers
Loving it. Scott trying to work out Spock's motivations. Spock's moves and counter moves. All very much an elaborate chess play. Endgame in sight? Certainly, there's a gambit being played and it could be bloody for all concerned. Intriguing compelling stuff. The fact that you can do so through a character's introspection and thoughts, instead of narrative is really skilful and enhances the paranoia and the mind games of the story. Excellent story telling.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! And yeah, you're rapidly approaching the climax to the main arc. I wonder if it'll make the side arc read more or less tragic, when you're done. And thank you yet again for taking the time to read this.
Date: 04 May 2009 15:46 Title: IX. Patterns
Eek! A dangerous 'alliance' is formed. A bargaining more so than an alliance. And Scott makes the call that would serve him best. Cold indeed.
Author's Response: ::nodnods:: The single only time, in all those years, that the Mirror Scott ever made an alliance outside of himself. But after what Pike did to him, it was that or die before his mission's accomplished.
Date: 04 May 2009 15:42 Title: VIII. Vanish
::shudders:: oh to have Scott come out of the shadows like that with a knife in the hand would be enough to give one a coronary. McCoy has been given this chance. His desperate search for his daughter is touching, especially in light of his faults. Scott's opportunity extended to McCoy hints at something deeper when Scott, but still he has that brutal razor light reflected in his eyes making it difficult to be sure whether to believe or trust him. Run indeed McCoy.
Author's Response: It was an exceedingly creepy chapter, but a later chapter explains somewhat why Scott acted here how he did. The cool part is that the 'past' parts, when they end, lead back to the 'present' parts at the beginning. Thank you!
Date: 04 May 2009 15:37 Title: VII. Wraith
Oh wow. A lot there in that to stew over. I'm at the point now where I'm understanding the title chosen. Or more accurately my own interpretation. Don't know how close or far off it is from yours. Echoes of the other Scott, the silence he maintains, his patience and long lasting loyalties, and the skill he has in killing and engineering.
Regardless, this is a terrific chapter. Ties are forming between the various chapters in the past and future. We see reasons behind Mirror Kirk's anger and hatred. We also see how Pike could be cold, bloody cold, and yet willing to allow No. 1 to live so long as her activities didn't draw attention. When they did he did what he had to do. And when those orders were carried out he carried out his own form of retribution. It add to the complexity of the character. I love him / hate him character. Very scary. And Scotty increasingly becomes his tool.
Dark stuff, but a glorious read.
Author's Response: This is the part that ties in strongly with Shards and Loyalties. And yeah, hopefully things come together by the end to make sense; I was pretty careful with the parts, and the side-stories, in making every little tiny thing agree and add up to the ending. Thanks much for the feedback! It made my, albeit tenderized, morning.
Date: 04 May 2009 15:21 Title: VI. Waiting
The dance, the battle of wills and loyalties that are waged so silently between Spock and Scott in this are truly fascinating. You just image the tension as an onlooker mgith see it in the air. Yet these two men would not conceive of their being any such tension. Spock too analytical and calculating to perceive it as tension. And Scott ever waiting. But to the reader the air is singed with the battle of wills. You try to decipher what is going on under the surface of both men, wiht their unreadable masks. Enthralling really. Well done. I could lap up chapter after chapter of these two.
Author's Response: LOL! Hopefully, you really enjoy how it all plays out in the end. Most people really love this chapter. Thank you!
Date: 04 May 2009 15:13 Title: V. Grace
A dispassionate killer indeed. He just lets his prey talk their mouth off knowing they are in for it. Almost like offering a last confession. But he offers no forgiveness, no repentence. Just dispassionate and swift execution. All adds to the chill factor.
Author's Response: It does. The portrait titled for this part definitely was apt: Grace.
Date: 11 Apr 2009 12:54 Title: IV. By the Numbers
Wonderful. Under that dark exterior there is a rebel working away. I love how Scott thinks and measures up his chances and his enemies. In particular, the way in which he views Spock is spot on but also tantalising in what it might be setting up.
Scott makes clever use of his skills and you show him as very competent and skilled and using the best skills he has to achieve his aims. Not for him the likes of a Tantalus Web. Something more practical and hands on. Something he can trust. Something more blunt. Very much him.
Author's Response: Thanks! The toothpick encyclopedia idea isn't mine, but it's a brilliant one and I'm sure would appeal to him for its simplicity. This was sort of a fun chapter for me, if only because. I had actually started this story to find out what a Scott would look like if they stripped his emotions away and left behind just his intelligence. Needless to say, I found out. And a whole lot more, too.
Date: 11 Apr 2009 12:48 Title: III. Merciless
Ok that turned things on their head for me. George is a mean SOB but yes McCoy might have a greater stain against his soul if he helped to forge the dark Scott. And the chosen quote is just so fitting.
Great sense of pacing in this segment. It reads as something unfloding slowly and carefully without need for filler or distraction. Just an effective tone and eonomy of details you choose to use.
Author's Response: Honestly? I couldn't write it in graphic detail. I didn't even want to write it at all; it took me months to do so. But thank you for reading it.
Date: 11 Apr 2009 12:40 Title: II. The Art of War
I just picture the two of them in dark moody lighting, sitting taking a drink with a corspe between them. [shudders]
But there's something touching about how Scott evaluates McCoy's dad. Maybe it is better to hide such a terrible world from their children.
Author's Response: Well, Scott wasn't drinking, but yeah. It was dark, but not as dark as many paint the Mirror Universe. Thank you very much!
Date: 09 Apr 2009 16:28 Title: I. All Through the Night
Ok so starting at the start. This is a world away from the parts I have read. Have a feeling this is going to be a stark setting with crushing moments that are going to break my heart, to get from this almost idyllic situation to what Scott becomes. Not going to like it! Though, I think I'm going to love reading it.
Author's Response: It is. This is definitely a tragedy, though I'm not sure what kind or who is ultimately the most tragic figure. But I wanna thank you again for taking the time to read it. Bigtime.
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2009 02:25 Title: XV. The Future
I will post a short review only to say, as you know I read this at the OS. It's an exquisite piece brought to a haunting and melancholy end - just as it should have been. Extraordinary.
Author's Response: Thank you, Terry. It's a strange feeling knowing its all over. Can't wait to see what you think of the side arc, whenever you get around to it.