[Report This]Date: 13 Jul 2011 22:11 Title: Short story
I definitely liked this one.
I am a fan of very hot stuff that isn't just about hotness, e. g. (not to be crude about this), not straight NC-17 stuff. And I think you pulled it off rather well.
One thing I liked was how the action kept being interrupted by Malcolm thinking about classes, or the history of soldiers and prostitutes, etc. To my mind, the effect was much like a guy trying, desperately, to think of anything, anything at all, in order to delay the big finish. Sort of like going over the Designated Hitter Rule in your head. Plus, like it or not, we can sometimes be distracted, even during rather intimate moments, in particular when the partner (in this case, partners) are unknown and there's no emotional investment. Malcolm doesn't spend his time trying to please either woman, he just sort of rides with it, and by being disengaged that way, he ends up being disengaged mentally, which is very believable.
My only, slight quibble -- four times (maybe you said five) in two hours? The guy was, in Trek, over the age of 30, I'm pretty sure. Certainly not 18. So unless Phlox is feeding him some interesting vitamins .... :)