Date: 10 Aug 2010 03:28 Title: Chapter 17
Ah, yes... nothing like having your diplomatic mission spark a civil war among a highly advanced and ridiculously dangerous alien species who might hold the very fate of your fragile Federation in their hands.
In other words... Holy @&*$! 
Oh, and FYI, Qwert kicks ass. He's like a Feregi version of Yoda.
Author's Response: Hi Gibraltar, Yeah, the crew of the Redemption have kind of screwed the pooch here, though things are far from what they seem. This diplomatic mission may have sparked the civil war, but it is a war that has been brewing for a while and would probably have kicked off sooner or later. Both sides have a very different way of viewing things, and there are some other factors we are not aware of yet that will cast a different light on what has happened. ie, Qwert as a Ferengi version of Yoda - Laughed. My. Ass. Off!!!! :) Love it! Thanks for the comment!
Date: 09 Aug 2010 17:25 Title: Prologue
Well now - a hell of an opener to the third VOL. You like the mysterious and you paint alien settings so vividly and creatively. That much is clear from the Onyx Station itself - a living breathing body almost with its opening corridors, etc. Amazing and just a slightly bit yuck if I bad to bed and breakfast there!
So the mystery around Sarine is part explained here - he is destined for something more. Normally, the mythos and prophecy stories in trek don't really win me over. I have to say, I never much liked the execution of the Emissary arc for Sisko, especially the ending. However, so far the destiny elements linked to Sarine thus far have been really well executed and enveloped into a large story and twistign plots. In ways, it reminds me of the Babylon 5 and Sheridan and Sinclair arcs. So kudos for achieving that right level of trek feel and adding your own spin and mythos element to the proceedings.
Likewise, Sarine's interactions with others always are fascinating. With Captain Robau but most especially with Prin. There's a strong bond there that appears to ahve been tested and strained over the years even before the current time frame. So it should be interesting to see how it continues in this next volume.
Oh, and whilst I can rave about your descriptions of the weird and fantastic, I am actually in awe of the way you paint the movements of the characters in the more everyday settings. The scene with Prin and Sarine talking bullets where Prin lays her hands and where she sets her feet. Really clear imagery and scene setting. Terrific.
Author's Response: Hi Miranda, First off, thanks for taking the time to comment on all of this story, it really means a lot. Can't wait to see what you think of volume 3! I wanted to make the Laurentii a truly alien race in my Trek universe - both physically, technologically and in their way of looking at the galaxy. There is a lot more to them and their Hegemony, only touched upon in this volume, which will be deepened in the upcoming Volume 4. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the mysterious alien setting. And yes, definitely would not want bed and board in Onyx Station!! Personally, I loved the Sisko/Emissary arc, though I agree that it could have been handled better. I definitely wanted to emulate the Sheridan/Sinclair/Babylon 5 mythos here, so I'm glad that comes across and that you feel I have developed it in an interesting way with my own spin. Sarine and Prin are an important relationship in the story, a friendship that has survived a lot, including a failed romance, a brutal argument with years of recriminations afterwards, and much more only touched upon. Their relationship has mellowed somewhat, and Prin is probably the closest Sarine has to family now. Thanks so much for the kind comments about the settings and movements, and again so glad you're enjoying this!
[Report This]Date: 24 Jul 2010 11:29 Title: Chapter 10
I think this probably isn’t going to go down as a spectacular opening gambit in the annals of diplomacy!
I’m loving the continuing animosity and power-struggle going on between Sarine and Benjamini, and how much Qwert is enjoying the show.
At first the Laurentii appeared simply enigmatic and mercurial, but now we discover their culture is as discordant as any other humanoid society. Those divisions will obviously complicate these delicate negotiations…
Yeah, that could have gone better.
Date: 24 Jul 2010 11:25 Title: Chapter 11
The Laurentii are being revealed as an increasingly complex and fractured society, and with their previous manipulation of Ba'el, that undoubtedly spells potential disaster for the whole diplomatic mission.
Loving this!
[Report This]Date: 24 Jul 2010 11:24 Title: Chapter 12
Yeah, wow… so many ways that this could go terribly, terribly wrong.
Jasto’s desperate to find some kind of solution, and I’ve got a queasy feeling that his first instinct not to allow Q’sar to try and help was the correct one. Even a relatively disciplined Vulcan mind may not be able to cope with the insanity and depravity of Haebron’s unchecked personality.
Here’s hoping this turns out better than I expect…
Wonderful segment, btw!
Date: 24 Jul 2010 11:23 Title: Chapter 14
Holy crap! Kalara almost ended the brief yet notable Starfleet career of Ba’el Sarine. Good thing his trust XO was on her toes!
You’ve recaptured the momentum of this terrific series, and the various machinations and personality conflicts are all rendered in brilliant 3-dimensional clarity.
As various plots and plans entangle, your characters become increasingly fascinating as well as desperate. Well done.
Date: 24 Jul 2010 11:21 Title: Chapter 15
The liaison between Keene and Williams was as visceral as it was unexpected. Strange bedfellows, to be sure, but each is a fierce warrior in their own right so their pairing makes sense in that respect. They’d still try to kill on another in an instant, of course, but then that’s to be expected.
As for Ba’el’s sudden predicament… not good. Not good at all.
Glad you’re back, and you haven’t missed a beat!
[Report This]Date: 24 Jul 2010 11:20 Title: Chapter 16
Prin has a pragmatic sense and isn't so easily swayed by emotion as Ba'el allows himself to be. Kudos to her for seeing something wrong within Kalara's alleged actions, and for moving to speak with someone acting as the Klingon's advocate.
And now, things are suddenly, inexplicably worse... and Prin must decide to fight, flee, or surrender, without knowing which action might lead to a more successful conclusion to this vital mission.
And they say the captain's job is tough! 
[Report This]Date: 10 Jul 2010 14:08 Title: Chapter 15
Astrid Williams is effing crazy. She's the scariest person in the story to me just because she's so totally unhinged! She reminds me of a more lucid version of Angelina Jolie's character in "Girl, Interrupted." Weird comparison, I know, but I can just picture the blond hair and hot body and crazy gleam in her eye that makes Keene wonder -- is she going to kill me, or have her way with me, or both? And then he goes for it.
(As an aside, I laughed out loud at your divider between the foreplay and afterward scenes ... "xxx" indeed.)
As for Ba'el -- well, that was a sweet, kind of awkward scene, there -- right up until he wound up in the dark being shot. Of course, since this is YOU writing, I'm still not 100% convinced Turner didn't purposely send him somewhere bad. But I'd like to think she's not involved. So we'll see.
Great stuff, and I hope we don't have to wait too long for more!
[Report This]Date: 11 Feb 2010 16:55 Title: Chapter 8
Glad to see Prin and Bay can have it out and forgive each other. I like their friendship and I think they have nice chemistry together. In fact, I'm a bit of a shipper for the two of them ... but then you drop Turner on us. I know she and Bay have had their little eye contact flirtation thing going ... but here she listens and he opens up and we get the nice kiss. I like Turner, I do. She seems great. (I just like Prin a little bit more.) It's nice to see Bay get a chance to breathe and do something he enjoys with someone who makes him feel good. Even if it's not Prin. Sigh.
Maybe I'm slow to catch on or have forgotten something from Volume 2, but these last chapters have had me wondering who Benjamani is really working for. Something about her reactions on the bridge just now seemed off to me, and then there's the way she seems to want Bay to be at his worst ... if she's up to something, I wonder if Kalara will be the one to catch on.
Great stuff, Joel. I'm still thoroughly enjoying your characters and universe. Keep up the good work!
Date: 11 Feb 2010 16:54 Title: Chapter 7
Astrid is a real piece of work. She scares me! Apparently, she scares Klingon spies, too. And arouses them. What a scene! I sort of hate her now, though, just because she's crazy and effective and ruthless and she's messing with my favorite character, Kalara. Great characterization here along with the action. Well done!
[Report This]Date: 11 Feb 2010 16:51 Title: Chapter 9
Great chapter here!
So Kalara is having second thoughts about the deal she made with Benjamani the She-Devil. Perhaps Bay will wind up with an ally in her, after all. Liked how Bay was all relaxed and smiley coming onto the bridge, too. A fortuitously-timed kiss can make all the difference, apparently!
The Laurentii are weird and alien and very well-described and well-handled here. The eye-strip really creeps me out for some reason. I assume they can see 360 degrees? That'd come in handy sometimes. The whale ships are a nice, otherworldly touch, too. Their unwillingness to deal with anyone but "The Sarine" is pissing Benjamani off. I'd be happy about that, except that I don't think it bodes well for Bay at all.
And Zoraya is back! I loved the whole scene in the science lab -- feeling the excitement of all the Starfleeters geeking out while Zoraya tries to handle her spy stuff on the fly without drawing attention to herself as a lowly ensign. Very cool dynamic there, and the description of the science area was great, as well.
Continued awesomeness, Joel! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Date: 23 Jan 2010 10:09 Title: Chapter 7
Holy crap! I’m still not sure if that was a violent confrontation between two deep cover operatives… or foreplay!?
Nice job here with establishing how capable and how unstable Astrid’s other persona is. Not only did she quickly establish dominance over Keene/L'goth, but she’s modified his plans without his knowledge to suit her whims.
Ah, plans within schemes inside machinations all bathing in a sea of deceit and mystery! It doesn’t get any tastier than that.
Author's Response: Yeah, that was slightly messed up, wasn't it!
Glad Astrid comes across as both capable and unstable - she's had a lot of training and has gone through lots of counselling, and in a normal mission she would be holding it together much better. This thing with Dax, though... That's personal.
Happy that you're enjoying the taste of this brew!
Date: 20 Jan 2010 15:42 Title: Chapter 5
I’m going to have to jump on the bandwagon here. Benjamani’s actions in maneuvering Ba’el and Captain Rhodes into a room together were simply… loathsome. I really hope she gets what’s coming to her, and then some.
Dax revealing his ‘problem’ with Haebron appears to be a day late and a dollar short, at least as far as Ba’el is concerned. And the captain has a valid point. Haebron could have done anything to anyone, even endangered the entire ship and/or mission while in control.
And now there’s the matter of a potentially missing two days while Ba’el was with the Laurentii. Missing time. That’s never a good thing.
A whole host of crises threatens to engulf the Redemption, and she’s hardly set out on her first official mission.
Damn. Just… damn
Date: 19 Jan 2010 12:31 Title: Chapter 4
And here Kalara takes on even greater depth as we learn of her tumultuous relationship with her proud mother. There are more cards stacked against this woman than I can count, but she continues to strike out and complete her duty as she sees fit, even if it causes her the loss of her ship and rank in the process.
The additional background on Kalara’s siblings is also greatly appreciated.
Date: 19 Jan 2010 12:30 Title: Chapter 3
Holy crap! Not only do we discover that Haebron has taken control of Jasto and has, ‘come out to play’ but that Williams herself possesses an equally dangerous alter-ego. There are so many divided loyalties here, so many plots within schemes within machinations as to make one’s head spin… but you’re keeping a tight reign on all of these threads and guiding them towards… well, I don’t know yet, but I’ve no doubt it will be glorious.
Date: 19 Jan 2010 12:29 Title: Chapter 2
Geez, Colin is such an unrepentant letch, but you just can’t hate the guy! I can see how someone with his attitude (not to mention his wandering eye) might have difficulty serving in Starfleet, especially as an ensign.
Regardless, his presence obviously complicates matters both for Sarine as well as Benjamani, if nothing other than as a reminder of how closely the President’s office is keeping tabs on their progress (or lack thereof).
And now, as if Williams wasn’t already interesting enough, we discover that her cousin is an augment? What’s that make her, and if she does carry any augment genes, where does she place her loyalties?
Leave it to you to make an already complicated situation all the more deliciously entangled with the addition of just the right people.
Kudos!
Date: 22 Dec 2009 21:10 Title: Chapter 1
Well, that was an unexpected and rather gut-wrenching opener to the final segment! I guess we’re going to find out exactly how prescient Kalara is.
Loved the scenes with Kalara, who continues to be a study in duality, holding to her Klingon warrior ethos while allowing herself a very human emotional vulnerability with her husband. Her reaction to Ianto’s return was spot in, in my opinion.
Here’s hoping the future doesn’t unfold precisely as Kalara has envisioned it…
Date: 22 Dec 2009 21:08 Title: Prologue
This was terrific flashback to Ba’el and Prin’s previous contact with the Laurentii, and a visceral look at the dark days leading to the final ouster of the Dominion from the Alpha Quadrant. This also gives me a greater appreciation of the relationship between Ba’el and Prin, and how then, as now, she can be a calming influence on his more incendiary impulses.
Rather ironic that Sarine, who seems himself to be destined to be some manner of emissary to the Laurentii, comes to them aboard the vessel Benjamin Sisko… nice touch. 