Date: 05 May 2013 04:07 Title: The Assault Of Species Zero
A little reminiscent of this story -
Date: 10 Sep 2011 13:24 Title: Psychopath
It was disturbing, all right. A dark, dark tale of a woman with a really twisted, evil mind. She is completely detached from her feelings, all she has is her perverted mind. Looking into the mind of such a character and listening to her thoughts had to be terrible, but you managed to convey her mental state clearly--she is dangerous; no conscience, no feelings, nothing could stop her from achieving her goals.
Author's Response:
Thanks! That one and ' The Plague' actually drained me. I hinted at a lot of this in 'Paradise Lost', but here we saw it unvarnished. I actually think this piece was darker than 'Dear Herbert', and that featured Redjac.
Date: 25 Apr 2010 01:40 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter
Indeed, they're both in Hell. Saavik's psychological and emotional from her tormentors, and Peter that, coupled with the physical. I'm certainly glad to see that Sarek so welcomed Saavik, with opened arms. The Archangel story was a great adage, very interesting, and--at least in my opinion--sort of had echoes of "Supernatural". If I might do a little inferencing, I distinctly remember that the Messiah had to suffer in Hell, before being Risen. And if Peter is anything like that, some sort of greatness--most likely not outright, considerring the trend of the story--is most likely to come, perhaps from uniting with Saavik. As for that toddler... are they breeding someone to combat Peter? Or is he for something else entirely?
Author's Response:
They are indeed breeding someone to combat Peter--and if he is a messianic figure, then this would be his ultimate opponent--sort of. The Archangel story works on several levels. Is Peter just a victim doing what he has to in order to cope with the horror he's undergoing? Is this a racial memory of some kind? And just how badass is Ghidorah if he killed and replaced the Devil before he even became that?
I prefer to think of Peter as a champion with some messianic burdens. Technically, at least according to Catholic doctrine, Jesus did not descend into Hell as we think of it. Rather, until he came after his own death, there was no place for the just dead--including the Prophets and heroes of the Old Testament--to go. There was a common afterlife for all but the most wicked. It was what we would call Limbo that Jesus went into, opening Paradise to the just and good dead.
Peter and Saavik's union will produce quite a bit, when it happens. Maybe more than their parents and guardians are ready for. Just how do you shut down two interested teens when they can rip apart planets? :D
Date: 25 Apr 2010 00:21 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter
Interesting encounter with the Four Horsemen. I see why the book was titled "Not Into Temptation". From Madylen, to the Four Horsemen, he was definetely tempted. I liked the tie-ins to biblical scripture, complteted with the trip to Bethelehem. And not least of all interesting being that ending battled. And now the Order's got him, and I have no doubt that very very soon is when Sam and Relly's Hell comes true.
Date: 24 Apr 2010 15:24 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter
Brave words by Peter at the end--brave, but true. It's hard to believe ANYONE could be as evil as Bri, especially to their own grandson, who was so polite, well-mannered, hard working, and intelligent. But at least now Winona is attempting to make things right. That station was a little disturbing--all those people worshipping something so evil; and then MADYLEN! *shudders* How are the order so crazy? ;)
Author's Response:
Some people are just that sadistic. In the anime Elfen Lied, Mayu, a young teen girl, was sexually abused by her stepfather. Finally telling her mother brought not disbelief--but jealousy at the 'attention' Mayu was recieving from this man. Later on, when the hero and heroine of the piece essentially take custody of Mayu, her mother signs her away without blinking. I mention that because we've all heard a thousand RL stories about people as screwed up as Bri.
Bri was originally a mistake on my part--I hadn't known most fanon places Jim's mother's name as Winona. The twin thing was a bit of a dodge to use in this case. But, for the purposes of this fairytale, while an unjust stereotype, Bri is the ultimate wicked stepmother.
Date: 21 Apr 2010 02:33 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter
An enjoyable, feel-good chapter, if I do say so myself. But then again, maybe its just cuz I finished The Plague this morning. ;) I like your take on the Kobayashi Maru Incident. The way you changed it to fit the story, it seemed natural, like that had always been how things were. The history of the Enterprise, as well--or at least the bits we were shown--was also interesting. Liked Near-Null-Grav Ball. Sounds fun! Kind of like a dogeball of sorts. But I get the feeling theres NOT going to be quite as many feel-good, cheery moments when Peter is faced with Bri.
Again, there was another mention of the "Admirality Hall". I have a sort of vague idea of what it is, but are there other pieces that explain it? Or is it explained further on, what exactly the Hall is?
Author's Response:
In short, Admiralty Hall is the extreme embodiment of the 'mad Admiral' syndrome seen on TNG and DS9. The Order Of The Ancient Destroyer used their behind-the-scenes pull to get it constructed in the 2220's, despite opposition from many, including George Kirk Senior, who felt that the Admiralty would become isolated if fully insulated from those it lords over. Slowly, the Order made sure--most especially through John Gill--to indoctrinate and promote young officers of a xenophobic bent. Originally just a Hall, it started assuming powers unto itself, unchallenged by the UFP Council, who liked the quiet Starfleet the Hall promised them. They also embody the old warning : All evil requires to thrive is for those of good will to sit back and do nothing.
Not to press your patience yet again, but 'Lombard Street' covers some of this as well.
[Report This]Date: 20 Apr 2010 22:58 Title: The Plague
Not necassarily a happy ending, unless you count that, at least from the Enterprise point of view, that the whole thing was over. Hopefully, this is NOT what becomes of Peter, but if that prophesy-tale was at all true, hopefully it won't. On the bright side for the Kirk couple, it IS only for three days... even if those three days alone will be hell, after that, maybe a normal afterlife will follow. But maybe I'm just too optomistic for this to be a TOTALLY unhappy ending. But I do agree, that IS generally the way horror stories end. Good story, though. Now, onto the books of Peter! ;)
Author's Response:
As Saavik's Tale and Come The High Water reveal, Peter's horrible brutalization--which sadly did occur--had a hidden level to it. As for a normal afterlife, Sam and Aurelan will spend it shifting between the adults they seemed and the selfish brats they acted like.
I'm glad you liked it--considering the subject matter of its conclusion. It was the most difficult piece to write, short of 'Psychopath', which tells Brianna's twisted story from her POV.
You are a dedicated reader, and I am grateful for your efforts.
Date: 20 Apr 2010 02:31 Title: The Plague
I think I foound the Lycans. ;) Very interesting tale told by Sam, and sheds some more light on what Peter's life was like with them. I did at first feel sory for Sam, considerring his life had pretty much sucked. But then, just because his childhood was a lot less then perfect--his and Relly's both--didn't give them ANY excuse to make Peter's life that much worse. I can't wait for the finish!
Author's Response:
Peter and Saavik represent every kid who had to be the parent to adult children. The finish again is brutal, I can say that much.
Date: 19 Apr 2010 01:51 Title: The Plague
Definetely terrible stuff. I can see how Sam turned out the way he did, and it's amazing Bri never broke Jim. But that whole scene on the Enterprise... its turned almost into a sort of horror movie mashup gone wrong, so I had to laugh at Spock's comment about Lycans, since I'd actually just been thinking "When are the werewolves coming in?" Either way, good story, and I'm curious to see the end, and who it is that finally rights this madhouse.
Author's Response:
Please be ready for the ending. Having written a certain type of story, I felt obliged to follow through. As to the horror, I don't always handle it well, and its a bit of a chore to convey in text.
Date: 18 Apr 2010 17:06 Title: The Plague
How awful for Peter! Marc was the one he loved most, and he died because Peter, after trying to protect him, didn't have the energy to get back up. I suppose the only good part would have been the Big Three's arrival.
That was pretty crazy, everything Peter did. He was... superhuman, of sorts. Reminded me of an anime I like, where when the main character gets to a certain point of emotion--extreme anger, desperation, etc--he becomes almost unstoppable, possesed by a demon of sorts.
Author's Response:
The entire Ancient Destroyer Cycle has heavy doses of anime influence, including Dragonball Z, Elfen Lied, Devilman, evn doses of Love Hina and Gundam. Peter is superhuman in body, and very much a little boy--albeit a very good little boy--in terms of his mind and soul. He and Saavik contain the genetic threads of something that was never meant to be Human--the creature that in most universe's would have grown to be Ghidorah's arch-enemy. In other words, they are miniature Godzillas.
Date: 18 Apr 2010 16:48 Title: The Plague
A curious story told by those ghosts. A very good premise for starting the colony on "Armagedon". Total equality and tolerance of religion is something even the United States sometimes fails at, and it is nice to see that, even if it ultimately ended in failure (granted, it was not by their own hands). Now, I'm starting to get more of a sense of what Hellguard was, from other than the vague references in Encounter Thy Image, if Deneva was a ver watered-down version of it.
Author's Response:
Hellguard is gone into in Down Through, and has been kind of fanon since the pro-novels that emerged during and after TWOK. Deneva's original name also indicates that it will be the site of the last battle between Peter/Saavik and Ghidorah.
Date: 18 Apr 2010 13:34 Title: The Plague
Defenitely dark, I'll say that. Oh, and a YAY moment: more backstory. I'll read THIS one first, then return to the Book of Peter. But, it's hard to believe what Lucy's doing, and a little sad that she's resorted to this, and then truly thought she could successfully summon and control Ghidorah.
Author's Response:
Lucy--and the other children on Deneva--gave up, because of one of the inherent flaws (beyond moral ones) in a system of forced labor--those in charge have it good and don't want to give it up--while those under the thumb begin to believe anything is justified to change it. It gets darker still.
As an antidote, I might suggest--after you read the ending---the piece on 'Holiday Road' called 'Show Me'. It's short, and its ending is the direct antithesis of 'The Plague'--just save it for after the ending. Thanks!
Date: 18 Apr 2010 03:01 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter
This was very interesting, and a very different take on things. It was at first confusing, but the more I read, the more I understand, and the more it was spelled out. I feel awful for Peter. That was a terrible tragedy.
Now, a question I had. Do I have this right? Uhura was friends with Peter's mother, and one of Peter's parents was a sibling of Kirk? Kirk and Uhura adopted Kirk. And Peter has some alien blood in him, from our favorite pointy-eared xenaphobes across the NZ, which, if I might speculate, gives him a connection to a certain Rommie named Saavik.
That little myth-tale about Ghidorah was clever-- I liked it. To make some connections about it... I do recall a Godzilla/Ghidorah movie where several of them teamed up against KG. Rainbow-Wing... could that be Mothra? And the Ape-Fish Godzilla? As for Shellback, I do distinctly remembered a sort of shelled monster. The only one I can't place is Darkwings. The only other winged monster I remember was one resembling a ptyredactil.
Regardless, great work! I look forward to continuing with it, then moving on to Saavik's tale, and finally back to Encounter Thy Image.
Author's Response:
Sam and Aurelan were Peter's legal parents--Aurelan did give birth to him, but there's another story in there. Sam was sterilized in an accident, and he and Aurelan asked Jim to sire their children, while they would raise the kids. They were not quite up to the task of parenting, as we shall see. Peter is of House Surak, albeit by way of 'Those Who Left' centuries before. 'The Plague'--frankly as dark a story as I have ever written--covers that. I'm sorry to have so many stories that *have* to be read, but I deliberately opted for thoroughness over accesibility.
Darkwing is a ref to Battra, Mothra's grim counterpart. Mothra is the guardian of the living on Earth--Battra is the guardian of the Earth's ability to produce and contain life---so their goals are sometimes at odds. Shellback is a ref to Gamera, The Giant Turtle, the guardian of young life--or children.
Thanks! I know it can be hugely daunting, but it is also appreciated.
[Report This]Date: 01 Apr 2010 01:09 Title: Ghidorah Tai Dominion
Very bleak, and that last sentence about Solids and Shapeshifters finally being equal was perfect. Grim stuff, though. Too bad for the Dominion--I like them! About the Vorta, the way I gandered it, their telepathic abilities left them open to some sort of telepathic attack by Ghidorah, yes? I liked the ADU history you created for the Dominion. It was very imaginative. I could also see the Jem'Hadar doing that. Another thought I had... didn't someone in the Godzilla movies use a sort of crystal ship using the power of collective minds, or something of the sort against Ghidorah? I thought it may have been Mothra's offspring. But I may be wrong. Sorry for the meandering review!
Author's Response:
I'd call Ghidorah the equivalent of a telepathic warp core that is forever breaching. As to a crystal ship? Space Godzilla arrived in the form of a crystalline meteor, Death Ghidorah from 1996's Mothra was turned back by tapping into a forest's life-force, while Grand King Ghidorah used a dome to try and rob Earth's children of their lives in 1998's Mothra 3. Thanks for noticing the history. I based it on what little we know about how the canon-Dominion formed,a nd how the UFP first encountered them, especially hiding the shapeshifters as the True Power behind it all.
[Report This]Date: 30 Mar 2010 20:04 Title: Ghidorah Tai Dominion
What a nihilistic tale! So bleak and the foretelling was very effective, too. A very effective "monster" to boot. It read almost like a Creation myth. Real cool!
Author's Response:
Thanks--one of the big things I tried to do here was show the ST enemy's modus operandi turned on them with a vengeance.
Date: 09 Nov 2009 06:35 Title: The Assault Of Species Zero
While some of the ADU stories are too confusing to follow, this one is just crystal clear. Anything that can take out the Borg is quite terrifying--but what I also liked was that you gave Ghidorah's features a "logical" basis in your universe so that I have something more to picture than just a Japanese movie monster in space. Nice!
Author's Response: Well, Ghidorah serves a few purposes. Except for one film, he is pure evil. Two, Godzilla can't fly through space. Also, he had to be different here, if for no other reason than, in normal depictions, the normal Enterprise could take him out with ease. I'm sorry if the stories have been confusing, since I really have tried to clean up this version of them for coherence and trying to avoid the assumption everyone knows what is going on. Any and all suggestions for improvement will be gratefully recieved. Thanks!
Date: 21 Oct 2009 22:59 Title: The Assault Of Species Zero
Wow! I liked it! An intriguing beginning, and I hope to read more.
Author's Response: Thanks. I am currently in the process of revising and editing some stories for posting here, which should make events clearer as well.