Date: 22 Feb 2014 15:06 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Well that was a good piece, despite the darkness of the setting situation, I did like the cadet’s early banter and then their shock as they get the presidents message and authenticated it.
The viewpoints of the refugees and the simply nursery rhyme to calm the child when the Mother realizes there not going to be evacuated in time, was a bleak scene but yet achieved powerful imagery.
I did think it was sad to see Admiral self guilt response from failing to stop the attack despite there been nothing he could of done to stop it. Adding the Xindi Bombardier moments was an interesting choice and showing his indifference to his targets as he activates his combat codes show how well the sphere builders had brainwashed the Xindi - reptilians to their cause.
Still ending with the Cadets going to their shuttle joker fuel limit to tried rescue the three people they found, then from the way it ended I can’t help feeling that only the little girl Penda Uhura was going to be saved. Solid story effort.
Date: 24 Jan 2014 04:09 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Well I was right about this one being a tough read. And where I likened this to 9/11 before, the much more apt comparison is probably Katrina, especially considering the scenes of desperate survivors fighting for their lives and the cadets doing all they can to bring back a few more souls.
The contemporary feel of this future and of Starfleet makes the story even more effective. At times this does not feel like science fiction at all. This is no far removed tale taking place in the distant future were people and things can be beamed away in an instant, instead you immerse us in a world and a disaster most of us are familiar with at the very least via the images we've all seen on CNN and the movies. Albeit on a much more scary and devastating level.
The ending you chose was interesting and gave us no closure at all which I suppose is alright as you had already opened the story with the aftermath. What we get instead is a sense of the ongoing rescue effort which is going to take it's toll on these young cadets who like most other rescuers are likely going to continue their efforts until long after the point of exhaustion.
Very sad but also undeniably a very powerful story. Well done.
Date: 21 Jul 2013 01:25 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Great use of canon and near-canon (Penda, as I am certain you know, was a rejected first name for the character who became known as Nyota Uhura). The roar of the fire, the desperate rescue, the winch, all of it works seamlessly as the reader is swept right into the horror of that day.
Fine, fine job, compelling storytelling.
Date: 19 Jul 2013 04:30 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Okay, the nod to TOS? Awesomesauce.
But the carnage as you depict it, awesome and terrible. You're so damn good at cutting a scene, and making the reader bleed. Anne broke my heart. I hope she makes it, her and her daughter. I love how brave those cadets are, and how businesslike they are when they get down to it. Genius, overall.
Date: 19 Jul 2010 22:36 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Wow, wow, wow and wow. First thanks to kes for pointing this overlooked story of yours out. I can't believe I never commented or read it before. And boys oh boys. That was an intense and gripping read from start to finish. The different scenes all making up a catastrophic overview of the tragedy. It really made things hit home much more so than the event depicted on Enterprise ever did. Very visereal with the depiction of the firestorms raging, the winds kicked up and the flooding. Really a dire pciture depicted with brave, brave cadets thrown into the mix. With the little girl's name implying that Seth may have saved more tha just the little girl's life but a future person too. That said, you end it wiht him throwing himself out into the dark again. You owuldn't be thinking to make Seth a lionised hero, what with giving away his St. Christopher medal and everything? You wouldn't do that?! Awesome.
Date: 21 Oct 2009 17:39 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Wow. Powerful and painful, it's definitely a worst-case scenario. You handled this extremely well; I felt for every character (including the villain, oddly enough, though not really sympathy), and the eeriness of sirens, and the howling of a world caught on fire. Just excellent work.
Date: 21 Oct 2009 04:53 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Yet another gripping chapter! I'm glad you got this finished in time for the challenge. I couldn't help but to think of parallels to Katrina with the flashes to the evacuation scene, how those with the fewest resources are always left behind to fend for themselves. Very powerful stuff.
[Report This]Date: 21 Oct 2009 02:56 Title: "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall"
Uhura? Awesome.
This was excellent. Completely riveting, beginning to end. And Seth gets the prize for bravery under fire ... wow. I loved this.