Date: 03 Oct 2011 08:50 Title: Epilogue
Some closures here. And some new plots out of the blue, which look like introductions to following stories. A trick film-makers like to use in case the public would demand sequels ;)
I like that Jake started to call Kas "mum." Better late than never...and now they can really feel like a family.
Author's Response:
Jake's post-war journey was a ref to an already-completed novel - Visions Of The Things To Be, a crossover with MASH.
I might write 'Kira For President' someday :), but I already have the short 'A Letter To Nerys' set after the war.
Thanks for reading, really. This was my 'ultimate' DS9 work, and I'm glad to see it mostly works.
Date: 03 Oct 2011 08:40 Title: Part Ten
You killed Sulu! O_O
I was surprised to see that Dorian stayed in Starfleet; I had thought she'd resign, but then I thought that maybe it's better--she would have a chance to prove that she is able to make the right choices. And then--bummer! The chance was gone, with her life. A sad moment, because I grew to like her in this story.
Author's Response:
I've heard it said that JK Rowling cried after killing off Sirius Black. As I wrote the fates of Dorian and Hikaru, I wanted to spare them, but that would make the Breen a less competent, less lethal threat than that dark episode obviously meant it to be - and with the obvious parallels to 9/11 - I couldn't have them survive and say that the story had impact. It was about war's brutality and price, and so my path was clear.
Date: 03 Oct 2011 08:25 Title: Part Nine
You meant Tal Shiar, right? Not "Tal Shayar" ;)
Hmm, it seemed like Jake-Nog reconciliation wasn't going that well...but in the end there was some light at the end of the tunnel, toward which they headed and finally arrived to some agreement. Good for them. Friendships have their bumps, but they don't have to end and be destroyed by those bumps.
I'm not sure I'd compare Dukat to a contrary child. He is way more dangerous and his motives are not so innocent. He doesn't just want to do things to irritate someone, to show "who's the boss." It's not even only about Kira, although she has a prominent place in his plans. Dukat in his madness was a real danger and underestimating him would not be wise. So I fully agree with Kira, when she disagrees with the O'Briens.
Author's Response:
I *never* get that one right. I always tell myself 'It's not spelled like the Marvel aliens' - except it is.
I'd say this was the big early test of their friendship. A later one may come, but they hashed and fought out a lot of the trash that many people never clean out - the 'Retirement Of The Old Debt', so to speak. In case it didn't come through, I like writing Ferengi.
It is a simplistic thing to compare Dukat to a kid with a fit. I think the O'Briens might have meant to have Kira reduce Dukat in her own head - to keep him from occupying an almost Pagh-Wraith like position in her mind. Kira would never truly underestimate him, but by dialing back his position mentally, she was able to make him doubt his own master planner skills, and that was enough - along with surviving his very dangerous schemes. Even a Kirk feared his schemes - and that has to mean something.
Date: 03 Oct 2011 04:19 Title: Part Eight
Some reconciliation here, so things start to return to their "natural" condition. Or have a new, better start.
An interesting story Nog tells here. It explains why he or Rom barely mention Prinadora, or she never attempts to contact her own son.
Author's Response:
I think she shows up in those 'Starfleet Academy' comic books Marvel made a while back, prolly to con her son. The series proper, to my mind, had made it clear that Ferengi society had always given Quark's family grief. I extrapolated that, for a family to do well in that frame, they'd have to be so Ferengi as to frighten off other Ferengi, who would never dare speak against them, but would limit dealing with them to the absolutely neccessary.
I do wonder if Prinadora tried to contact her ex, once he became Grand Nagus...and he told her to go to Hell. ;)
Date: 02 Oct 2011 12:56 Title: Part Seven
You caught Dukat's manner of speaking well with those "hmm?" and "shall we?" I could hear him in my head, his tone and even see his facial expression. Well done!
So, this is all a game of non-corporeal aliens at war with each other, who manipulate everyone and everything to suit their purpose. It must be disappointing to Kira to see her Prophets from this side. She seems not to know what to think about it and it's not surprising. Sisko didn't take the information that had been revealed to him lightly, either. The aliens angered him and he let them know that.
Author's Response:
Thanks! I work hard on dialogue, and, where this is an actor, recreating their voice. In case the story didn't make it clear, in an actual 'episode' on-screen, Shatner would have played his nephew, albeit toning down his Kirk-ness for the less certain, less confident Peter.
BTW, my Ancient Destroyer series focuses on an AU with a very different Peter Kirk, if you're ever of a mind.
Date: 02 Oct 2011 06:16 Title: Part Six
Hmm, the universe is getting smaller and smaller and more familiar names are popping out of nowhere, no doubt along with sub-plots that for now seem to have nothing in common with the initial plot.
It reminds of a bit of Dean R. Koontz's novels, where he starts with multiple plots that seem not to have anything in common and then brings them together to create a logical conclusion. I guess this is a similar case, even though I can't see where it all is headed, yet.
Date: 01 Oct 2011 13:33 Title: Part Five
Oh, my, Garak knows certain details of Earth history better than I. He is one resourceful fellow, isn't he?
That's interesting tactics with those cloaked Defiant-class ships. I just hope the price wouldn't be too high.
And no worries, I won't stop reading the story just because one character doesn't belong to my favourite ones.
Date: 01 Oct 2011 09:57 Title: Part Four
I must admit I find Kirk's behaviour inappropriate. Sometimes he appears tired and annoyed by being "the nephew," but I can't blame anyone, because all he does is remind everyone of who his uncle was.
I don't think that a hearing of an ensign, regarding a tragic matter, is a place to tell anecdotes of what Peter Kirk's uncle did, someone famous Peter had known said and another historic figure he had known did. All he talks about is the legends whom he knew personally. Everything that is happening is sooner or later commented in such a manner. I'm not impressed by this man, who can't define himself in any other way than through famous family and acquaintances.
Author's Response:
I'd ask you to see this from Kirk's POV : He talks the legends to death because he has spent his entire life trying to change the subject and realized all people want to hear is the legends. As a very old man, he has accepted the shadow he lives in, and gives the people what they want. There is a bit more to him, so I'll ask you to keep reading - but he does live in the shadow of those he knew.
Date: 30 Sep 2011 12:44 Title: Part Three
So, the truth is slowly coming out to the daylight. Fortunately, Kirk is wise and asks right questions. He had not assumed that Nog is guilty and it should be proven.
I must admit that I am appalled by Farris paying so much attention to Collins's weight. Collins never struck me as fat, or even chubby, just a cute girl and drawing so much attention to her weight, which which I never had any problem and was never even an issue for me, feels like pure malice.
And finally, somehow I am not surprised by the racism. Nog tried to hide it from Sisko, but I think he had to get through a lot when he had been at the Academy. He was brave and endured that, but it was clear that humans are not as species-blind as they'd like others to believe.
[Report This]Date: 30 Sep 2011 12:39 Title: Part Two
As usually, Garak's unique perspective of a non-Federation alien, helps to see things from outside. And what does Sisko learn? That Nog is a scapegoat, because many parents believe their kids are perfect and if any mistake happens, it the fault of the whole universe, but certainly not of their kid.
Nog didn't deserve that. He was blinded by the Red Squad's fame and by his strong wish of being a part of them when he was at the Academy; he was blinded to the point where he didn't see that he had achieved more than them--his commission and his rank; he was blinded, but it doesn't mean he was responsible for their mistakes and their deaths. He nearly paid with his (and Jake's) life for this blindness. He doesn't understand that yet, but I think that given time and the perspective the time would give him, he'd understand that he could have played it differently.
Date: 30 Sep 2011 05:04 Title: Part One
Clearly, Nog can't see what went wrong in the Valiant and cannot comprehend why no one else agrees with him. And to add to that, he's now in serious trouble.
Frustrated, lost, feeling alone and betrayed, he's got tough days ahead of him.
Author's Response:
Yeah, I really didn't feel Nog fully saw the whole picture at the end of 'Valiant'. But something slightly bigger and deeper than this one adventure is driving the mess he finds himself in.
Date: 29 Sep 2011 10:48 Title: Prologue
Jake talks here about what always bothered me: why Nog let those cadets order him around, if he was a commissioned officer and outranked them all? Because they were impressive and he was at awe with them at the Academy?
Was that what angered Nog? Or was it because it didn't agree with his view on the events?(not fishing for spoilers, just thinking aloud ;) )
On thing is certain; Jake doesn't try to present himself better than he thinks he is and he doesn't try to hide his previous "war experience," even though he isn't proud of it.
Date: 19 Oct 2009 22:04 Title: Part One
Oh wow, Nog is going to get prosecuted! I mean I somewhat think it strange that Nog never took command of the ship and was a little less than thorough with his rank and duty. But damn, he is getting badly burned by this affair and it won't help his attitude to Jake and his story.
It was very revealling and very well told how each character in turn talked to Nog about jake's article. Were they however a little too defencive of Jake because he is the captain's son? Well maybe not, since many if their points are very valid and quite fitting of ther character's and their pasts. I like how Worf touched on Kirk and on Kor, legends of past. I loved how Miles spoke of Maxwell and the image of him baling himself for the formation of the Maquis. Kira's thoughts about her own battles were quite succient, especially as I think I could listen to her own backstory very easily. But what I loved was how you touched on Dax speaking of the children she has had - it is something I've always thought of and wondered about so was thrilled to see someone else also has had similar thoughts. I like that explored more too. So I've given you two hints as to stories I like to hear more of! Ha! No pressure like! ;)
Fantastic stuff, and in this segment I think I see more clearly how you tried to emulate a Jake style in the previous chapter. Very, very well done. A great character piece and shaping up to create some great plot with the turn of events at the end.
Author's Response: I think Jake's writing does catch a little bit of a break. But on one level, Nog's attack was so ferocious, I think defending him was an instinctive reaction. On another, they were upset that Nog in essence wanted them to tell him that a fiasco wasn't a fiasco. I don't know about Kira, but I have an Occupation-era piece or two in my archives.
Date: 19 Oct 2009 21:43 Title: Prologue
First off, I think this is a fantastic premise for a story. The Jake /Nog dynamic was perhaps never really exploited for any real dramatic effect as far as I can recall. That said their friendship helped us to 'humanise' the Ferengis and see their family connections as well as making sure Jake didn't become a sop like Wesley in TNG.
The point you also picked up on was the difference between the two, Jake refraining from a Starfleet career whilst for Nog his dream became seeking acceptance in Starfleet. I liked seeing Jake's assessment of that and thought some of the points were novel are nicely laid out for the reader without being plain or lecturing.
Jakes' /your's writing style made for easy reading, though there were a number of repetitive phrases that slipped in that perhaps maybe he wouldn't have deemed to use or perhaps might have if they had an accumulative effect. I do like the honest portrayal he gives, how he felt one thing prior to the turn of events and giving his impressions of the various figures in the story he is going to tell. No wonder it seems why Nog reacts angrilly at the end to Jake's story. Somewhat surprising given Nog's reaction that Jake sends on anyway. I guess the thing with the truth is that it is subjective and sometimes people really do not want to hear it or recognise it or even know if they are speaking the truth. And it seems Jake holds more import in the value of truth for it's own sake and as a righteous virtue.
A very good start.
Author's Response: Thanks! I had thought about 'professionalizing' Jake's style a bit, but decided that he is still not the writer he may become, and that it should sound like a talented kid stepping up.