Date: 01 Apr 2009 17:19 Title: Chapter 11
Slower than most of them, but still with its highlights. The holodeck simulation was interesting, and Tony's kind of a likable fellow, if not a bit of a mild jerk (not everyone can be nice!) But the notion that you can't redo a battle's a good one.
Date: 01 Apr 2009 17:16 Title: Chapter 10
The colonists are a really good lot, too; your ability to create living people never ceases to amaze me. I like the political system, too; representative democracy, but much closer to what it should be than the current one of the United States. The power's much closer to the people. The characters are all pretty good, too; a fair mix, and Daren's friendships are rather real, as well as his relationship with his son.
Date: 01 Apr 2009 17:13 Title: Chapter 9
I like the way that poor Hank had to come to grips with the fact that this wasn't a scenario, but the real deal. I mean, I knew it pretty much instantly, but it was still neat how he ended up getting smacked across the chops with it. Also liked the battle, which was well-paced, and Harrison getting all fired up on Jennings later. Good stuff!
Date: 01 Apr 2009 17:04 Title: Chapter 7
You're right, Chapter 7 is just awesome. I laughed out loud a few times. I love how you make these people so very relatable; I'm not a fan of wholly original crews, but I'm very much a fan of the Pearl's.
This line got me laughing:
“One of the few things I will agree on with my mother…that ale is good.” She began to devour her food while Hank laughed, covering his mouth with his forearm. “What?” she said with a fry hanging from her mouth. She quickly saw it and ate it. She had an annoyed look on her face. “What are you laughing at?”
And the ending of the chapter was even better. I like how Hank relates to his crew; you could say that it's like Jim Kirk, but it's not -- there's none of that high-handedness that Kirk had. Instead, he really comes across as someone who it would almost be natural to be loyal to.
Date: 01 Apr 2009 17:00 Title: Chapter 6
Bearrian's another good character, and his relationship with T'Kel is another one that's a lot of fun to see. You really do write interactions very well. Plus, you've got enough intrigue in there with what T'Kel's gonna do about her marriage to keep it interesting. Good work!
Date: 01 Apr 2009 16:55 Title: Chapter 5
The flashback was very touchingly done. Seriously, so far this is just an excellent story. Hank's thoughts as he goes through this first day of command on his new ship is very realistic, and you paint a vivid picture of what the ship looks and feels like. The ending of Chapter 5 made me laugh out loud -- what better way to send off a somewhat diamond-in-the-rough crew than with rock'n'roll? Because that's what I would have chosen myself.
Date: 01 Apr 2009 16:44 Title: Chapter 4
The camaraderie between Hank and Nick is really well handled. The dialogue there seems both real and natural, something that can make or break a story. I got a kick out of them kind of spelling out Bearrian's name -- how often do you see authors who actually pay attention to such human subtleties like that? But the whole conversation was just good... they seriously did seem like they'd been friends for a long time, even if we've only just met them ourselves.
I also like that these people are kind of a crew of independent thinkers, especially since they're NOT exactly the cream of the crop. While I love the famous Enterprises, I really love underdogs, too.
Date: 01 Apr 2009 16:43 Title: Chapter 3
Copied from the Omega Sector:
I really like Harrison. He's got kind of an edge on him, and I think I like best that he allows his officers to do their jobs (like Chris) without butting into it. I also like the homage to the Enterprise-C; it's fitting, and poignant.
This is a good start. Your pacing is nice and quick, without being too fast and therefore losing itself in the speed. The style is also very clean, which is a big bonus in your favor -- this is actually cleaner, writing wise, than most Trek novels currently put out. All of the characters introduced so far come across as real and alive, and you've set up an excellent mystery. Nice work so far! It may take me awhile to catch up, but I'm enjoying what I'm seeing so far.
Date: 02 Mar 2009 01:01 Title: Chapter 2
A complicated mission to track down Maxwell and discover who or what is behind the death of all those Cardassians would be enough for anyone.
Hank Harrison has to contend with a new ship - a beauty and a testament to new technology by all means - but new ships can have teething problems. But I think Hank's biggest problems will lie with assembling a crew on such a short notice. This is especially compounded by interference and venom from certain quarters within the Admiralty.
I await to see what Hank has done to justify such resentments.
The Pearl sounds a beauty and has a touch of class and elegance about her that should stand to the crew and her Captain.
The challenge awaits Hank and whether he can step up from his lowly science vessel command to a bigger chair with bigger chanllenges and stakes.
Date: 27 Feb 2009 23:40 Title: Chapter 6
LOL. So, the captain seems to have a unique approach to his ship and crew. It's very refreshing. And I was thoroughly amused reading about the doctor's confusion. Don't think one could blame him though. ;-)
Date: 27 Feb 2009 23:27 Title: Chapter 5
::cackles:: I think it's the first ever Starfleet vessel to have such a *rocky* launch. :-D This story rocks! ;-)
Date: 20 Feb 2009 23:50 Title: Chapter 4
This is really establishing some ground rules. First of all, we get to see Hank a little closer and more defined. He has a strange record, he has some issues. So does everyone around him. You can tell already that these people, all of them, need each other because they all have some demons to exorcise. Then, there's an established to a degree at least captain/XO rapport. I loved the friendship note, I missed it in TNG.
There's also a great tribute to your writing that the dialogues sound so natural. What's more, I can hear different characters speaking, with their respective features and attitudes coming through. It's amazing, and it makes the tale so much more enchanting. I mean no one has even opened fire yet, and I can see this family of crew already. Nicely done.
And just how does one misspell Klingon?;-)
Author's Response:
Klingon...ah...well...umm....
Too much Blood wine that night I guess :)
Date: 20 Feb 2009 23:03 Title: Chapter 3
::gasps:: I'm with Chris there. I'd be shocked, too! LOL. Love the brothers already, and Harrison keeps surprising me! 'Run it like a circus for all I care...' I think if Picard had heard that, he'd fall out of his chair. ::grins:: On I go, impatient to see how it develops... ;-)
Date: 20 Feb 2009 22:31 Title: Chapter 2
Ouch! And the intrigue is building up! Great increase in tension, you write it so well. And I just loved the description of the Pearl! I can tell she's a beauty even from here. ;-) Very hooking chapter. On I go...;-)
Date: 20 Feb 2009 06:19 Title: Chapter 6
Well, I must say...I'm liking T'Kel! It's very interesting to me to see a boundary-breaching Vulcan who manages to do so while still adhering to some form of Surak's philosophy. It sure goes to show just how insular Vulcan society still is, that she would be a pariah for wanting to stay in Starfleet, and for having a slightly different take on things...
I am also VERY curious to know about this Galor that was destroyed. (Of course, MY first instinct as a "Cardassian writer" was to want to know whose ship it was, but I realize that will not be so relevant to you as it would be in my own writing.) This definitely ups the stakes even further...not only have we got a crazed serial killer with some seriously powerful transporters running around (Dominion transporters?) but we've got a serial killer running around with some VERY big guns. A Galor class may not be a match for, say, a Galazy-class ship, but it's nothing to sneeze at. To be able to take one out before it makes an escape takes a lot.
The only real drawback I'm noticing so far is your portrayal of the Pearl's crew mixture. Granted, the various Trek series are guilty of the exact same "sins," but I noticed that almost ALL of your human characters seem to be of British Isles descent. One would expect that in a world where socioeconomic disparities are no longer an issue, that the human component of the crew would be more reflective of Earth's population as a whole...one would expect to see a lot more Chinese and Indian crew, not to mention many other populous non-European nations. A lot of Latino surnames would be expected, too (among others).
I also may have missed it...but so far T'Kel is the only non-human I've seen aboard your ship. Though the series often did a poor job with crew diversity, this is somewhere where I personally feel fanfic should feel free to make up for that (unless, of course, you are writing a non-Starfleet scenario where diversity is either less likely or even politically impossible depending on where you write).
Still, I know I've been detailed in this but I want you to know that you've got me interested in what happens. I can't wait to get the next piece of this mystery!
(And hopefully see Maxwell dead. And whoever's working with him. ;-) )
Author's Response:
Ch. 7 shall introduce the next alien character and mainstay of the Pearl's crew. As for diversity, it's something I work on throughout the book, but book 2 really expands the character diversity.
Date: 20 Feb 2009 05:58 Title: Chapter 1
Benjamin Maxwell out of prison?
And doing THIS?
:adopts best Cardassian voice: "This is why we Cardassians believe justice should be FINAL."
And let's hope it WILL be, and that your captain will find himself equal to the task!
I imagine Hank will also have to take great pains to keep this quiet; if the word gets out about this lunatic being able to commit his killings again, that could well touch off another war that neither side needs.
Date: 19 Feb 2009 23:28 Title: Chapter 3
“Furthermore, feel free to run engineering like a circus for all I care,” he got up and threw up his hands, “just make sure the job gets done!”
Seriously: I fangirl Hank. I want to nominate him for the best Captain of the decade. For as wonderful as some of the other OC captains are, Hank just owns my soul.
Author's Response:
I'm glad he's so loved. Thanks.
Date: 19 Feb 2009 12:47 Title: Chapter 1
LOL! This is an intriguing beginning! A willing but unwilling captain... Fresh Cardassian bodies and an assignment which no one else wants -- that screams fun. ;-) As great a teaser as they come. ;-)
Author's Response:
Much thanks Anna. The story only gets more fun from here.
Date: 01 Feb 2009 22:25 Title: Chapter 1
I love the Pearl and it will be fun to start all over again with her trekfan!
Date: 01 Feb 2009 00:48 Title: Chapter 1
SLWatson's review sold me on this - for some reason trust her opinion. But having read these first few installments I have to say I am intrigued and will keep following this story.
[Report This]Date: 31 Jan 2009 05:49 Title: Chapter 1
This story kicks off the saga of perhaps one of the most engaging original crews ever. This storyline in general is a good mix between hope and grit, walking the fine line that is hard to do well... and trekfan does it very well. The very essence of Trek, and maybe the first all original cast I've ever fallen in love with. The Pearl's crew are people you can and will love.