Date: 22 Feb 2014 13:59 Title: Chapter 1
An excellent part one, I can see why this won the January Boldy Reading choice vote.
This was a pleasure to read, despite the dark content of preparing for the Xindi Probe attack. The story flows nicely and the characters actions seem to make sense in the situation.
The Cadets not wanting to volunteer for anything was well handle as was the dark opening of J.J. Carmichael not being able to sleep after seeing the horrors of the aftermath.
The crisis government briefing seemed to be believable and also well describe but I think it was a good little moment when you had Admiral Emilio Alvarez question what would count as snatching as a small victory from the jaws of defeat.
Still you manage to find a little note to end part one on as he realized the Academy has set up a good emergency centre.
Date: 24 Jan 2014 03:31 Title: Chapter 1
It's been awhile since I've watched the Enterprise episode this relates to but I was surprised how much information the government had about the Xindi weapon before it hit. Granted it was far too late to do anything about it at that point but I thought it was the Enterprise crew who put most the details together. I could be mistaken on that point.
Regardless I like the notion that they know what's about to hit them but are unable to stop it. The sense of helplessness here is palpable.
I had also forgotten how significant that attack was. With casualty numbers that high, it must easily rank as the most devastating single attack in Earth history. A 9/11 of the 22nd century if you will and yet so much worse.
Terrific job of showing us the impending doom here. Part 2 is likely going to be a lot more difficult to digest.
Date: 21 Jul 2013 01:08 Title: Chapter 1
I love the scene-setting here, as you prepare the reader for what they are well aware is going to come. In canon, it seems as if the Earth is just attacked, with no precautions, no evacuation, no plans and no defensive force. But what you are showing here dovetails seamlessly with canon while, at the same time, addressing those questions. Of course there was a fleet, and of course they tried. But a lot of it was a spectacular failure. What JJ et al are about to do is save a tiny fraction. But that is far, far better than no one.
Date: 19 Jul 2013 04:17 Title: Chapter 1
Your attention to detail and the state of the world in that era is so delightful it hurts. I go to read and I get sucked right into it. Of course, I want to hold J.J., but I always want to hold J.J., because damn does that boy need it. But even beyond that, I love Alvarez's thought processes, and the way you blend what the world looks like today with what it will look like when it does have a Starfleet (provided we live that long), which just makes it all a real treat.
[Report This]Date: 17 Sep 2009 01:28 Title: Chapter 1
Really interesting set up here, especially seeing the agony of the cadet at the beginning of the piece. I'm looking forward and somewhat dreading to see what led to that. You definitely hooked me.
Date: 16 Sep 2009 20:05 Title: Chapter 1
This isn't going to be pretty-but you're telling it well.
Date: 16 Sep 2009 18:46 Title: Chapter 1
Great story Funngunner. I'm glad I risked some chance of spoilers by reading this. You created a great mood and scene setting from the start. You are very good at setting the scene.
Likewise getting into the minds of the various parties in a very simple and brief way - from the various government officials at the end to giving the impression behind why the likes of Ariah and Seth volunteering on the back of JJ. As for JJ's approach to volunteering he really doesn't win himself fans. Good stuff.
[Report This]Date: 15 Sep 2009 17:48 Title: Chapter 1
I enjoyed this glimpse into the future of my favorite cadets. Nice to see JJ stepping up and committing himself, nice to see his friendship with Seth is strong, and nice to see Ariah looking stronger. No mention of Vanessa, which is interesting ...
I also liked the look at the UE government. It rang pretty true, especially the bit about the security advisor and his worry for his family, and the chaos as the political types beging shouting and pointing fingers of blame.
This is an awesome entry, Funngunner. Great job.