Date: 07 Mar 2010 14:42 Title: Chapter 5
So it all seems to be a trap. And with a mystery communication as well, there is a chance that there is a traitor on board. Or certainly, someone with secrets to hide. The crew's first meeting went ok - though Limis is keen to keep to her Maquis ways. That might indeed prove to be a blessing but she may need to learn that the book is part born by experience too. That said, her judgement seems to be right so far. The first mission looks likely to be a trap and the ship's crew will have a lot of skill and luck to navigate the trouble ahead. Especially if a larger plan to lull a larger Federation force into the nebula.
Date: 07 Mar 2010 14:33 Title: Chapter 4
For that reason, he was given the role of senior chief engineer in accordance with the practice of having multiple chief engineers on new classes of starships the first year of operation. - Nice nod to the way things seemed to operate on TNG's Enterprise-D. It also makes a degree of sense - though of course it also opens up a can of worms when one applies the adage of too many cooks spoil the broth. Logan already seems to have too many cooks with his hands full with his new Maquis crewmembers. Tarlazzi in particular seems to delight in causing him mental anguish. Hee hee.
So we have some command issues to work out and Limis is very proud and not one to ask for help too easily. She's prefer to learn on the fly and on the hoof rather than look inadequate in front of crew. No foul there I suppose as it is going to take a bit to convince the crew that she should in fact be in command.
Date: 17 Nov 2009 22:54 Title: Chapter 3
Your handling of the canon characters is good. A light touch with again some little introspection, like with Jadzia reflecting on her previous command experience, that adds a bit of depth and grounds the story firmly. As for your own characters, we see that there are loyalties there that will cause many problems down the line. Limis doesn't get much of a welcoming party mind! That might be her first task as commnading officer to rewrite that policy.
Date: 17 Nov 2009 22:39 Title: Chapter 2
Again, I am liking the development of the characters here and the fact that Limis will have a little cohort of her own to back her corner. I've a feeling that we will get a kind of 'how Voyager could have / should have handled the conflict between a Maquis and a Federation crew thing' in your story and if so I'm all for it. And a Luna class vessel to boot. Not sure about the canon on that but I like the idea that it was built upon discovery of the wormhole and appropriated for the war effort. Liking this so far.
Author's Response: The class of starship Riker's Titan belonged to was never mentioned in canon. Only the Pocket Books novels gave the backstory of the Luna-class starship, the first of which officially went into service after the war.
Date: 17 Nov 2009 22:26 Title: Chapter 1
Oh what lies behind all this. From reading later stuff, I gather you like to spin a few mysteries into your story. It certainly adds a fun element to all - especially knowing that our heroes have been worngfooted. I liked the way you touched on Worf's walking a thin line between two worlds. It was simple and did not waste time but it grounded the character and the scene. As for Sisko's recommendation, I guess after the Eddington affair his eyes may have been opened a little but I still thought it a bit of a shocker that he'd put Limis' name forward for a command post. Still I can see this won't go down well with the senior staff and Kozar when they discover who their captain will be. Limis better hope that Sisko's faith in her ability to inspire loyalty lives up to the expectations because she'll need such skills.
Author's Response: Think of it as Picard suggesting Calhoun to command Excalibur in New Frontier, much to Jellico's chagrin. And Jellico later contacts Kozar for the same reason he contacted Shelby.
Date: 17 Nov 2009 22:17 Title: Prologue
An effective overview and introduction to some of our characters. It sets up some of the backstory and frames the story and characters you plan to write about.