Date: 11 Jan 2010 19:06 Title: Chapter 11
Whoa! An explosive chapter. The sh*t hits the fan here. Dramatic and calmatic events. Very gripping. Ba'el/Joker has a crazy assed scheme that I'm eager to see. Whether it will pay off as Kalara's tactics seemed to have. Mind I dare say she does not take kindly to having her orders questioned, especially not in that kind of situation. Me thinks the lieutenant so eager to call her up on her decisions might regret that. Lots happening and all of it brillaintly conveyed in an exciting brisk pace with some awesome imagery - the burning helmet hitting the fighter for one.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed this. I originally had planned what is now turning into a four volume story all in one. The fact that it spun off into four volumes really started here with this attack by the Klingons. Everything went out of control from there, in a good way!
Date: 19 Dec 2009 19:10 Title: Chapter 10
An exciting installment. I figured with Kalara taking temporary command of the Redemption that left Ba'el at a loose end. I hadn't figured on him taking wings - but it seems perfectly obvious now when one thinks about it. He isn't about to sit around and do nothing. He was always going to go and kick some butt.
I see ship operations have a similarity to what we know but are also quite different in how they operate - taking a partial leaf out of the Dominion way of doing things with the viewsets and making use of holographic wall to wall stations. Very good extrapolation of where things might end up in terms of technology.
Commander Turner and Ba'el appear to hit it off ok and I'm sure his assessment of her will ring true in the next moments of the story. Good exciting brisk pace.
Date: 19 Dec 2009 18:57 Title: Chapter 9
And straight to the fun, eh? the attack is happening and I was caught off guard, thinking we had a little more scene left. So that was good timing and pacing of the chapter. Kalara managed to control and comport herself for what had to be a very nasty thing to say for herself. It really had to stick in her craw to say she no longer had command. But it seems that the Klingon attack has thrust Kalara into the command chair in this emergency situation. Good stuff.
Again, I'm liking the touches with Dax and the recall of past hosts in regarding situations. Ianto too settling into things but obviously Kalara's situation and attitude was bound to throw him. And the poor doc has to be perplexed himself about the seemingly erratic behaviour of Kalara. So how is this going to pan out?
Date: 19 Dec 2009 18:43 Title: Chapter 8
Oh fascinating. You build upon the Klingon schism nicely here. It seems it is more of a three way split. Pacifists like the doctor, those seeking to regain honour like Kalara, and those like the General operating under a falsehood of honour and bravado. Actually, Keene represents an almost new kind of Klingon too. Very interesting. This really mixes things up when it comes to the Klingons. It also seeds a lot of trouble and chaos ahead as the plan now starts to play out. I have a feeling the General is not going to go by the script laid out by the Empress. Kalara looks like she could be implicated in all of this and to muddy matters more, Keene has soemone working with him as a shadow warrior. Very interesting.
Date: 15 Dec 2009 22:32 Title: Chapter 7
Oh Admiral Benjamini has a beef with Sarine alright! I guess and hope we'll see more of her. And it only makes sense that he wouldn't be disturbed by her demeanour or trolling through his history however uncomfortable. As she should have realised reading his file - he has doen worse things than subject people to a lecture. Still can't have made for pretty hearing. But he got more to the crux of the matter as he succiently summed up their respective positions in relation to the Hegemony.
But an interesting thought that it might be his infamous act of genocide that has brought him the attention of the Hegemony. If so why? Do they praise his methods? Do they reckon on using such abilities and willingness to go beyond the pale? Seems to make them a very dangerous power altogether and certainly muddies the waters even further.
Terrific character interaction and a terrificly mysterious plot. Where will they go? Anywhere it seems.
Also, I must commend you on the great world building and descriptions. Very visual and illustrative from the planetside scene travelling to the Ambassador office to the Herod's little flyby of the various space docks and of course the magic of seeing his new command. Awesome details and use. Brilliantly realised as I pictured myself there in the cockpit too. You should some artwork to go with this! Ha! Maybe it will only detract from the writing of the story, so no don't! Ha. Again great stuff.
Author's Response: Thanks for another review! Yes, the Benjamani/Sarine relationship is far from smooth, mainly because for the first time she is faced with a Starfleet captain who has nothing to lose. Like you said, he has had a lot worse than get told off or grilled by an ambassador, so it made sense that he would eventually put her in her place. It isn't exactly his infamous act of genocide that brought him to the Hegemony's attention, though that is part of it. Read on to find out more! :) Thanks for your praise of the descriptions and world building, I really enjoy that aspect of the story and am glad it has come across like I wanted to. As for artwork... i'm horrendous at drawing, so no! If anyone else wants to, I'd be more than happy to see what they come up with! :) Again, thanks!!!! Hope you enjoy the rest.
Date: 15 Dec 2009 22:15 Title: Chapter 6
Ah so Kalara is to be XO - I'm sure she will greet the challenge with a smiling face! Ha! I foresee lots of tension, troubled and heated conversations between the pair. Although it does make sense for Kalara to go along as the most knowledgable person perhaps about the Redemption. An interesting exchange and in many ways she took the news better than I had thought. I do like the Ferengi Admiral. He has a certain way with words - which Kalara certainly does not appreciate. Hee hee.
What I do find fascinating though is this new concept to the Klingon culture. Starv'a'kai. It turns the notion of Klingon honour almost on its head and makes it much more fresh and interesting in this far flung time. It also makes Klingon honour a little more honest to itself. Actually proving honour and acting honourable rather than shouting and proclaiming honour and bravado. It makes for a new insight into a Klingon mind such as Kalara. It also speaks of the fractured and ruined relationship between the Klingon Empire and the Federation. Thrilling and enthralling. And very inticing as a thrust to Kalara's incentive and motive in this tale.
Additionally, the cityscape of Starfleet HQ is nicely pictured and realised and demonstrates some of the huge costs of losing to the Dominion. Additionally too, is the name/reputation Ba'el Sarine carries. Hmmm. Makes it all the more intriguing nad maybe puzzling as to why the Laurentine want him in command. And what will it do for Kalara's ability to work with him. Great stuff.
Author's Response: Miranda, Yeah, Kalara not going to be so happy about being XO - her honor may push her into doing this, but her heart is pushing her in a completely different direction. Yeah, I like Qwert as well and am looking forward to writing more about him in the volume I'm currently working on. I'm glad you liked this concept of Starv'a'kai. I really wanted to show how different these Klingons are to the ones we know from 'real' Star Trek, and a new concept of honor seemed a perfect way to do that. It also makes sense in terms of the history of this future, since the Klingons received a real kick to their honor during the Occupation. So glad you liked the way this cityscape was described, I'm glad it was as visual as I had hoped it would be. So glad you're enjoying this story, and am loving your well-thought out reviews of each chapter!
Date: 08 Dec 2009 16:02 Title: Chapter 5
Again an interesting turn of events. The Hegemony has a lot of people's interest so a mission like this could only be expected but terrific to see it from the operative's POV and it should be interesting to see how she goes about her mission. And a few little details about the hegemony revealed and they only serrve to make things all the more interesting. Whoo hoo.
Author's Response: Thanks! I really enjoyed this chapter and the character of Zoraya. Unfortunately, she doesn't play into Volume I very much, but she will be very present in both Volumes II and III.
Date: 08 Dec 2009 15:19 Title: Chapter 4
Oh and it just becomes even more facinating! Never mind the whole data class androids and Data as a leading figure of the Resistence! Really awesome development - and yes Data is likely to looked into creating new androids so it seems a perfectly natural development, course of events.
But the Dax character is the most thrilling new element. To pull on the memories of Jadzia and Ezri not to mention the other hosts gives a great story telling device to be explored and allow for glimpses into the past. Rivetting. But add to that the twist of Haebron's 'presence' in Ianto [a Torchwood reference?] only prpels the interest factor into the stratosphere. I had played with the idea of a Trill character compromised in some manner by a previous host but instead I went the route of a Vulcan compromised but I can tell that you've suceeded in pulling it off and creating a highly complex and intriguing character with many pitfalls and dark secrets to contend with. Absolutely thrilling. And I love the fact that you are exploring the shared mind aspect of the Trill its an aspect that interests me but I know it is hard to convey. And this is a masterful introduction to a highly complicated character. Terrific.
Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much fot this review! I loved the idea of these two characters acting as a 'tunnel' back to the time we know and love, and Data as a leader of the Resistance was too good to "resist" (excuse the unintentional pun). I also wanted to have this conflicted Trill character, something I had always found fascinating. Part of the origin goes back to the Lives of Dax stories, where one of the hosts (I forget which) talks about hearing the voice of the former host. I was a bit worried about him, and am so glad that you found him as complex and intriguing as I had hoped. And yes, Ianto (who is actually the android and not the Trill! :)) is a Torchwood reference. I was watching Children of the Earth around the time I was writing this! :)
Date: 08 Dec 2009 14:58 Title: Chapter 3
Ba'el Bay. I like the name. But asides from that it seems I was right, Kalara is being turned down for command of the Redemption for Ba'el. I didn't see how Admiralty could condone that - a seasoned committed officer replaced with a drop out after the Occupation Resistence. Nor can I see Kalara taking the news too well. [You wouldn't think to be putting her in as his XO surely! Just imagine the crew dynamics then!] But then you explain the ties and it becomes clear - well it is explained at least.
Why would the Hegemony only want Ba'el in command? What other motives do the Hegemony have? You've managed to create a highly facinating power with a few lines. I like the mystery and enigma they pose. Hmm ... where is this going?
Oh and neat line at the end. Thought it was a troubled friendship moved beyond friendship definitely but to the point of calling for Ba'el's assassination! Eek! Who is the Company? Section 31! More tension and mystery added to the mix. Crikey. You do like to hook your readers in.
Author's Response: Miranda, Yes, I wanted Ba'el to come into this as a reluctant commander, as a man with a history, and the Hegemony's insistence seemed a perfect reason for him to be roped in like that. As to whether I am planning on 'roping' Kalara in as XO... You'll have to read and find out! :) Lots of good questions about the Hegemony, questions we will eventually get answers to (in fact during Volume III which I am currently writing). And yes, I do like to hook readers in! Thanks so much for all these positive, enthusiastic comments!
Date: 08 Dec 2009 14:44 Title: Chapter 2
Ah politics afoot and things are in motion at Starfleet Command - on Romulus no less - and the Klingons abandoned the Federation! Hmmm ... this gets all the more interesting as we go. Intriguing threads being spun out I wonder how they'll tie together again. Good stuff.
Nice character introductions and Kalara seems a feisty and stubborn commander. Hers should be an interesting tale. Now what does this have to do with our previous protagonist. Is she going to be deprived of command for him.
And our Ferengi friend - he wouldn't be Nog per chance? Hmmm ... lots of interesting developments and characters. This continues to be a very strong introduction to the story.
Author's Response: Hi again, Yes, lots of politics amongst Starfleet in this universe. I thought that moving Starfleet Command to Romulus would show once and for all how far away we were from the universe we know and love. Yes, the Klingons abandoned Starfleet, abandoned the whole Alpha Quadrant in fact, during the war with the Dominion, something that resonates for them throughout this history. Glad you liked Kalara, most readers seem to enjoy her the most out of all my characters. She is feisty, and stubborn, and passionate, and strong, and fragile. She is probably one of my most developed characters. To answer your questions, yes, she is going to be deprived of command for Ba'el, or so it seems at this point... :) And no, unfortunately our Ferengi friend isn't Nog - this is set many hundreds of years after "our" time, so few of the people we know and love in this universe.
Date: 08 Dec 2009 14:35 Title: Volume One - Chapter 1
Ok so finally getting around to starting this. An interesting premise that acts as a great hook into the story on its own merit. However, the hinted at shared and troubled history between this pair is a further hook. Just what have they gone through and what lengths did they go to. One is left wondering what to make of this new Federation/Starfleet. Hints at an occupation; Andor no longer being part of the Federation and Starfleet's reluctance to help; refugee committees; you hint at a lot of things that have gone wrong and far from perfect in this new timeline. Should promise many interesting things.
Author's Response: Hey! So glad you're reading this, I so hope you will enjoy it. I really tried to show as quickly as possible that this was not the Federation we know, whether that be through the problems with the machinery to show this is far from the paradise Earth we have seen in the past, the lack of cohesion in the Federation and other more obvious things like Andor no longer being part of the Federation. Look forward to reading your further comments
[Report This]Date: 14 Sep 2009 19:44 Title: Chapter 14
You don't walk the dog-you fling the poor puppy around by his neck! What an exciting couple of chapters! i can't wait for the next part!
Date: 14 Sep 2009 01:29 Title: Chapter 14
I've seen some unfortunate run-ins between captains and XO's when assuming command of a ship, but this takes the Klingon blood-flecked cake! Kalara is caught between her anger, her loss, and her honor. Ba'el wanted to die, but had his long-awaited reunion with his wife and son in the afterlife rudely interrupted.
Ugly. No two ways about it. I can't wait to see how (or if) this relationship develops.
Date: 12 Sep 2009 15:45 Title: Chapter 13
Gripping stuff, with all-or-nothing sacrifices being made on more than one front. It's a damn good thing Redemption survived, because enough blood was spilled in order to save her.
Yeah, Kalara and Dax are going to have a reckoning when all is said and done. The honor-less deaths of the Klingons and of her friend still wait to be avenged.
That was a treat. Looking forward to wherever you take the tale from here! 
[Report This]Date: 11 Sep 2009 21:32 Title: Chapter 13
I can't even collect my thoughts on all that -- Sarine's self sacrifice could have easily felt cheap, but didn't. Dax made a difficult call and is going to have to live with it (and apparently some taunting from within) for the rest of his life. Kalara is going to be wrecked. We don't even know if her husband is alive, everyone thinks she's a spy, I'm sure she'll feel guilty over all the losses, particularly what happened to Sarine, especially because his sacrifice got her what she once wanted -- Redemption. Well, she's got it now, and what a mess! And poor, poor Ianto. We hardly knew you ...
I wonder how the real spy fared in all of this ...
[Report This]Date: 11 Sep 2009 09:43 Title: Chapter 12
Damn right we save the ship. What a heroic battle. Jesus, this is some of the best action sequences I've ever read-and I've read a lot! Excellent. A "10" !
[Report This]Date: 10 Sep 2009 22:51 Title: Chapter 12
*Whew* That was a nail-biter, and it's not even close to being over yet. Turner's timing is spot-on, and Ba'el has proven to have nerves of neutronium. 
I very much appreciated Kalara's moment of self-analysis when she discovers the thing hampering her instincts in battle is her feelings for her husband and her concern for his safety. Nice to see that gives even a Klingon warrior pause.
Pray continue, sir!
[Report This]Date: 10 Sep 2009 13:15 Title: Chapter 11
You really know how to blow things up! Someone had better pay for the destruction of that Starbase ... not good.
I loved the description of the tactical interface. Very cool stuff.
[Report This]Date: 10 Sep 2009 08:32 Title: Chapter 11
How are you going to put Humpty-Dumpty back together? the Fleet HQ is probably shattered....
Date: 10 Sep 2009 00:08 Title: Chapter 11
This is a riveting battle sequence with well paced action. One wonders how this new fragile Federation will handle the destruction of one of it's most significant outposts and the presumed destruction of much of the surface of Romulus?
Keep it coming!
[Report This]Date: 08 Sep 2009 23:19 Title: Chapter 10
OK, you hooked me all over the place. First, love Turner. Great character. Second, Cable. Cool character and the name...is my XBOX tag. Garibaldi bit the bullet? Nice nod to B5. Now, why isn't Turner Starfleet? Who does she fly for?
Author's Response: Hi!
So glad you liked Turner - she's become one of my favourite characters, one of those who just walked on stage fully formed and stole the scene.
We'll be seeing more of Cable, definitely.
Turner is part of the Starfleet Fighter Corps, so she does report to Starfleet Command, but all fighterpilots see themselves as separate from the proper fleet and call people who fly those big ol' hunk-o-junks fleeters. But they are definitely part of Starfleet.
Hope that clears that up
Joel
[Report This]Date: 08 Sep 2009 23:08 Title: Chapter 9
Here come the Klingons! Woohoo-action at last!
[Report This]Date: 07 Sep 2009 22:12 Title: Chapter 8
Wow, there's so much going on here I'm not sure where to start ... so I'll just say GREAT chapter! So now the Empire Klingons think Kalara is a spy, only Dr. Keene is really the spy. And fake Kalara just handed over the security codes that could leave an entire people unprotected ... I get the sense Kalara's life is about to get significantly more complicated that it already was. I wonder how her professor husband will handle all of this.
[Report This]Date: 07 Sep 2009 22:12 Title: Chapter 9
Well, that's not a happy household at the moment. A friend of mine has a saying, "Happy wife, happy life." The opposite is also true ... and much more so when said wife is a Klingon!
I guess Jasto's and Damien's manly drinking and talking session will have to be put on hold ... red alert klaxons and attacking Klingons usually put an end to that kind of fun pretty fast. Jasto is probably relieved. 
Luckily, the ship's XO is ready for command and primed for battle ... let's see how this goes.
Date: 07 Sep 2009 21:11 Title: Chapter 8
The deed is done, indeed. Here’s hoping the good general’s ego and thirst for fame will blind him to the necessity of annihilating the Redemption.
The fracture of the Klingon nation into three factions is a fascinating development. I’m eager to discover more about how this came about. It appears that at least the empire’s new ‘shadow warriors’ are a force to be reckoned with. Whether the warriors can capitalize on the opportunities they’ve provided has yet to be seen…