Date: 28 Jun 2012 23:00 Title: On The Porch
An excellent and eerie story, with a very effective use of sensory impressions that makes the reader feel he's there with Scotty. Very well written. (BTW, is the implication that Winona and George were still alive when Jim Kirk disappeared? I realize that the 2009 film made it canon that George was still alive when Jim took command of the Enterprise, but I still thought that the novels led one to imagine that they both died years before the Generations prologue.)
Date: 14 Sep 2009 03:19 Title: On The Porch
It took me a moment at the beginning to place the events, but once I realised who and when I couldn't help but smile.
An interesting take on those TOS characters that made it into TNG. Most think of Spock first in relation to Jim in TNG time, but I'd forgotten about Scotty and how he would react with the news. This is a great take on what he might have done.
Nice little fic. Thanks for sharing.
Nutty
(trapped at work)
Author's Response: Thank you-that was my whole impetus. Kirk had more than one friend. People forget that.
[Report This]Date: 23 Aug 2009 17:43 Title: On The Porch
Hm. Mixed sentiments on how I feel about this, so I'll probably offend you lots. ;-) But not to worry, Mistal, I won't show my fangs or anything.
I like the beginning imagery; atmosphere's a fairly important thing. And overall, it was fairly well-written in a technical and flow sense. But I think that my biggest issue is that Scotty doesn't seem like Scotty; he seems like the fanonized, rather stereotypical shell. By fanonized, I mean you hit all the stereotypes that fans have given him that were either not there at all, or far more subtle in canon -- ie, boozing, Scottish pride, devotion to Kirk (that's a really big peeve of mine), the miracle-worker crap.
I'm not trying to hammer you or anything, but it wasn't really insightful characterization. You're writing a man who really has lost every single thing in his life by now, except his right to breathe, and I'm not sure how much that would even count for by this point. If you're going to go the weary resignation route, then my suggestion would be to cut out the self-pity, and the self-monologue (we're talking about a guy who wasn't prone to more'n a few sentences at a time in canon here, at best), and take a straight up perspective approach. Let Scott's actions speak for themselves.
Ultimately, a technically strong story, but the characterization was weak. (Yes, you can expect me to comment, love. You know that.) Feel free to try to argue your points on the forum, but that's my opinion and I'm stickin' to it. ;-)
Author's Response: I came up with the opening line-and had nothing to do with the rest. I was actually watching Jimmy Fallon at the time. I just hit the keys-the story wrote itself. It may not have been insightful-but it was a ghost story-not a Scott story. I would never risk trying to write a Scott story as you have cornered the market. It could just as easily have been McCoy or Spock. I think it's more about a man who lived and worked with a living legend-and saw the warts up close. Now that said legend is just that, he tries to hold the memory of the man who was. That's all I've got for rebuttal.
[Report This]Date: 21 Aug 2009 21:45 Title: On The Porch
Not scary, no, but not all ghost stories are. It was poignant and painted a lovely picture. Very well done!
Author's Response: Thank you!
[Report This]Date: 21 Aug 2009 17:56 Title: On The Porch
Very nice! More of a somber moment than a creepy encounter with a specter, and all the stronger for it. Scott brings Jim Kirk home to Iowa and shares a drink with... someone.
I like it!
Author's Response: Thanks. I didn't really write it-it wrote itself. Glad you liked it.
Date: 21 Aug 2009 14:33 Title: On The Porch
Very good stuff Mistral and a nice play on the theme. Scotty in the 23rd century is bound to be haunted by his long ago past and the passing of his comrades, friends and family. A final little salute to end things. Very touching, almost melachonly in tone, and great scene setting with very little fuss.