[Report This]Date: 10 Sep 2009 08:00 Title: Chapter 22
Another great chapter, kes. Loved the interaction between the characters - it is most definitely your forte. Good to see the Admiral listening in: it was a nice juxtaposition of these three characters eating lunch, two of them discussing while the Admiral listens in.
The mystery of the Tyndorans continues to deepen. A whole cloaked planet? Cool!
As usual, can't wait for the next installment!
Date: 10 Sep 2009 07:55 Title: Chapter 22
Strange things are afoot in the Tyndoran system, and Sol must head deeper into what might become an unwelcome situation.
I very much liked the interpersonal interactions between Icheb and John, though the fact that the admiral was covertly listening in gave the sceen a creepy edge.
You're continuing to craft a fantastic group of characters and an equally complex mission that serves to draw the reader in more with each successive chapter.
Date: 06 Sep 2009 21:09 Title: Chapter 21
John had jokingly called them One of Two and Two of Two -- their own little collective. 
Hee hee - so funny and kinda cute too. Loved the opening parts of this as it shows Icheb having a great ole time and thoroughly enjoying himself in the big chair. The mood and jovial light-heartedness of Icheb and the bemusement of the others is neat to read after his recent headaches [real and metaphorical]. It also contrasts strongly to some of the developments that crop up.
The ending is chilling in its ominous nature and the fact Adele's sanctuary is exposed and he's been listening to everything that has passed. It also raises the spectre of what else has he been up to and what other tactics is he up to.
And get a load of Gentry. She is one hard assed bitch. So delighted Icheb put her in her place and stood up to her. And although she is still despicable I do find that her motives and feelings as revealed her to Icheb are understandable and maybe make me understand her a little more. But still hate her!
Icheb's motivations for going back though should be addressed. Why is he so willing to go back? That is a real enough question to pose. We can understand why Starfleet wants him along but Gentry raises a good question in asking why does he want to go back to somewhere he tried very hard to leave behind.
And of course the mystery of the gel packs seems to have been solved. I was wrong on one theory I had for them. But I do have an alternative theory still. Still quite paranoid about things. But you can hardly blame me considering the tale you are weaving. And I'll reveal my theory here rather than over at TrekBBS. I think rather than it being the Cairns fella causing the damage, I think it might be The Admiral! Sssh! Don't tell anyone.
[Report This]Date: 06 Sep 2009 08:07 Title: Chapter 21
Another great installment - Icheb coming into his own in command and showing that he has 'balls of steel' :), a new twist to the gel-pack problem, and a new facet to the Admiral (I loved the fact that he doesn't seem entirely against the command crew, since he hopes Icheb will get through this and gain a command of his own). What exactly is his deal??!
Anyway, another great chapter, roll on the next!!
Date: 06 Sep 2009 06:38 Title: Chapter 21
Icheb seems to be settling well into the role he has had to assume. He handled the lawyer beautifully. It's a shame, really, that she couldn't have managed an honest communication with him from a less antagonistic standpoint. Sometimes a good clearing of the air does wonders.
Really cool theory about what's happening to the gel packs and definitely not something with a pat solution. I loved this chapter. It answered a few questions and raised a few more, specifically about the Admiral. Great job!
Date: 06 Sep 2009 05:48 Title: Chapter 21
Yay Icheb! He's handling his first day in the big chair very well. He's working on solving the gel-pack problem with the senior staff, and he stood up admirably to the ice queen from the advisory board.
And Beckley's bugging the captain's ready room. Nice... though not altogether unexpected. More and more I'm beginning to think someone put the man aboard specifically to be a foil for Adele, and that he's either somehow biologically altered to prevent her from reading him or is being supplemented by technology in order to do so. Either way, it implies an agency with ulterior motives, and the goals of such agencies are almost never benign.
A great installment!
Date: 05 Sep 2009 16:17 Title: Prologue
Oh I'm sure the Tyndorans are going to turn out to be really nice and warm with welcoming open arms. But I guess the Admiral helps to lend everything a suspect air.
Looking forward to what happens with Icheb in command. I'm sure it won't be plain sailing.
Looking forward too to the unfolding of the story and the journey to the DQ. I love the fact the story is so huge and the idea of a number of books telling the complete story sounds great. I for one will be following it through however many books it goes to. Great stuff kes7.
Date: 05 Sep 2009 10:24 Title: Chapter 20
A little different to what I reviewed over on TrekBBS because I wanted to query without spoiling things - Ok first up, I'm wondering about the throw away line about the flu. In conjunction with the gel packs getting sick unaccountably early on in the story. I wonder is there a connection or is the Admiral just making me paranoid.
Neat chapter with the command relationship between Adele and Icheb developing nicely, with Adele willing to trust the Commander despite her reservations and the stark reminders about his Borg heritage not to mention the reasons outlined by CeJay.
Yes there are certain similarities with Janeway but stark differences too and it is around how she interacts with people that the difference is most glaring. Of course such an approach could cause difficulties and quandaries for Adele down the line - especially in light of the young families onboard not to mention whatever new families might start along the seven years.
The decisions made by Adele are telling of her personality, her growing trust in Icheb and her concerns regards the Advisory Board. She nicely accepts Icheb's thoughts about taking the Sol, she opts to leave without telling the Board - and she's just right in her assessment to that. Hopefully it is a little one up on them and puts some in their box - though it will be interesting to see how Icheb fares in the next meeting when he debriefs them to the captain's absence.
Now I have to add an ominious little wondering about the impressive shield technology of this race. If the Sol can't get through without their assistance how will they ever leave if things go south? Hmmm ... lots of little things here and there to mull over.
And of course, great character interactions. I liked in particular Adele's conscious move to try to converse and know some of her crew more on the bridge of the Sol.
That and it also occurs to me that with a seven year mission the scope of the mission and story grows bigger by the chapter in terms of ramifications and thought processes it triggers in my mind. I'm left wondering at the moment how much of that seven years are you going to write for!? Ha! Good stuff anyway, kes7.
Author's Response:
Sometimes a throw away line is just that. (And sometimes it's not.) I will say the gel packs get their day in the sun in the next chapter. The flu may not factor in, but Icheb is going to have to make his first tricky command decision in Adele's absence.
Gee, everyone is so suspicious of the Tyndorans! Where's your Federation Starfleet sense of openness to new cultures?
I'm glad you like the development of Adele's personality and her relationship with her second-in-command. I think her trusting of Icheb at this point is like when you're a kid on the high dive, and you're pretty scared, but at some point you just have to jump in with both feet. She still has major misgivings, but without anything concrete to base them on, she's just going to have to trust that her superiors at Starfleet knew what they were doing when they assigned him as her XO. She's not completely skeptical anymore, though -- since they've gotten to talk more over the past few chapters, she's starting to like him, or at least get used to him. So far, she thinks he's competent, scary intelligent and really, really young.
This story IS huge. I'm thinking it will be broken up into a few different "books" for a series. If people keep liking it, I'd love to follow them for seven years. But this story is the trip to the DQ, what they find when they get there, and their handling of that situation.
Date: 03 Sep 2009 06:38 Title: Chapter 20
Adele is handling Icheb well, and her time away from Tesseract will give him the opportunity both to stretch his command legs as well as give the captain a chance to guage his abilities. I'll be interested to see the advisory council's reactions when they discover Adele has jumped ship without informing them in advance.
And at least she took his advice on taking the Sol rather than a runabout.
Author's Response:
Yes, this will be a nice little pop quiz for Icheb. Is he ready? Let's find out. Thanks for the comment!
Date: 03 Sep 2009 04:14 Title: Chapter 20
It's good to see that she and Icheb are getting a little more used to each other, if not exactly comfortable. His comment about bonding time made me laugh aloud. I'm curious to see how he fares with the advisory committee with Adelle gone. Should be some interesting times. A very solid chapter!
Author's Response:
I'm sure Icheb is grateful someone gets his sense of humor. And "getting used to each other" is a good way to describe the developing relationship between Adele and her XO. They're not best buddies -- Adele has a lot of reservations, and Icheb's not so interpersonally clueless that he doesn't realize that -- but they're making the best of the situation and they're both trying.
Date: 31 Aug 2009 04:26 Title: Chapter 19
Nice to see Icheb and Maren at least being civil to one another. Working together without drama is a good start... baby steps. 
And now we see what will be the first of what I presume to be a great many First Contacts for the Tesseract. Here's hoping everyone minds their manners.
Author's Response:
Well, he managed not to cross any emotional lines with her, this time. Time will tell if he's perceptive enough to notice the better response he got by keeping things professional. Maren is a person who doesn't react well to being pushed.
Regarding first contact ... we'll see! I think if I were the Tyndarans, I'd have been scared out of my gourd of the Tesseract, too, so I don't know that I'd read too much into their nervousness ... but then again, you never know.
Date: 27 Aug 2009 23:47 Title: Chapter 18
Icheb and Maren are two senior officers aboard the most advanced starship the Federation Starfleet has ever fielded, and both are acting like 17-year olds in regards to their personal situation.
I do, however, understand Maren’s hesitancy. Which Icheb wants to talk with her? Her ex-boyfriend, or her superior officer? Granted, though he wants to discuss their former relationship, the fact that he’s of higher rank adds a compulsory undertone to any request for conversation with her. And Icheb could have handled his ‘request’ much better, rather than resorting to an angrily-hissed exchange in a corridor.
Ultimately, these are both proud, headstrong young people who have spent so much of their lives in school and focused on their respective careers that they seem to be lacking the emotional maturity they should have accrued by this age.
As for the region of subspace disruptions… oops. Borg again.
This. Can. Not. Be. Good.
Date: 27 Aug 2009 11:06 Title: Chapter 18
Oh an intriguing find at the end ... we were expecting more troubling signs of whatever is going on and with more subspace ruptures and Borg fragments we've got them.
A little mystery to be investigated now with the ship running only on impulse - eek not a good time to be caught with their pants down.
Yeah the Icheb / Maren relationship is a landmine of trouble for command situations. Both are exceedingly dim of heart it appears. But hey the fun will be seeing where this will go between the two of them.
The astrometics lab sounds fantastic - I'd love to see onscreeen. Very good and makes sense that Icheb and Seven would have a hand to play in its development. Icheb's pride at it is also evident and good to see him have that kind of response, especially after his run in with Maren.
I also loved the description Adele gave about herself - that she was about the people and the stars merely the background - it is refreshing and different. It's another little insight into her character and good to see that her loss at the hands of the Borg has not dented that drive. Maybe perhaps the fact she always viewed meeting people and cultures as her overriding concern it meant she was better able to cope than if she had been an explorer only. Nicely done.
Date: 27 Aug 2009 02:46 Title: Chapter 18
First, I want one of those labs! hehe That just sounded so cool. I love the interface design. Secondly, I know you said you weren't happy with this chapter, but I think it was really good. I was hoping they'd find some debris, but wow, a cube almost disintegrated? This just gets curiouser and curiouser. Maren will come around eventually. Maybe. She's just not ready yet!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the reassurance. This was version 3.5 of the chapter. Versions 1.0-2.5 were the ones that made me want to start murdering characters, hehe. I'm glad you liked this one. I might decide to like it myself eventually. Right now I'm just relieved I don't have ever have to look at it again if I don't want to!
Date: 23 Aug 2009 14:24 Title: Chapter 17
Hee hee. Gotta love the mystery of 'The Admiral'. I'm with Diogenes on the title thing. This is our first significant insight to the man and it seems to offer light on his character and yet it actually doesn't. It merely ups the mystery and gives the man more shades of grey. Thoroughly engrossing as there's nothing better than a mystery figure who with each new reveal becomes that little more shadier and mysterious.
So we learn that ok the Admiral might not have put the bloodsucking and ambitious Eleanor onto Icheb's case but he sees how she can ultimately serve his cause - whatever that may be. His analysis of her is creepy in how he views her in terms of weaknesses and strengths and her potential usefulness to him. :shudder: Not a nice guy - even though his motivations are unclear and maybe not all bad there is so much ambiguity about him it will be hard to ever trust him. He's obviously got mysterious connections - Starfleet intelligence being one - but what or who else is he involved with. Certainly lots more going on than meets the eye.
Certainly, this character is going to provide lots of intrigue and character plottings. He's going to mix things up regardless. And mention of Starfleet monitoring the Q. Like little touches like that - Is it a lead? A red herring? A nod to TNG and voyager episodes with Q in them? Or does it prove that there's something more to this man? Something very dangerous?
Like the Admiral I'm left mulling over what has just happened, sifting through the layers and wondering what it might all mean. Rivetting and enthralling character. Good stuff.
Date: 23 Aug 2009 06:35 Title: Chapter 17
Beckley’s a cagey one, all right. As a former SI operative, he’s clinical, calculating, and there’s obviously more to him than meets the eye. He’s good at manipulating people, and it appears he’s already got one other member of the advisory board eating out of his hand. One wonders what his relationships will be to the remaining membership.
Date: 21 Aug 2009 14:59 Title: Chapter 16
As Gibraltar has expressed, Adel's run ins with the advisory council is bad enough without the manner in which Icheb is grilled and treated. it bodes badly if theings should go awry and the captain goes missing or is incapacitated by accident or intent. Will the council, given the grilling and mistrust towards Icheb, allow him to take command? A potent question full of dramatic possibilities.
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking that if things go pear shaped the council might try to push the envelope on what exactly its powers are and the remit of its authority. Follwoing what happened at the meeting as related by Icheb and Adele I'm more convinced than ever that Berkley cannot be trusted and your witch of a one is either in league or being manipulated by the Admiral. All bodes bad in my book.
And Icheb getting 'jealous' about John with Maran. Hmm ... I had thought too of the love triangle possibility - certainly complication - but then I'm shipping your crew already and that's not something I ever do in a fan fic - just something struck me with this. I guess it the potential for interpersonal dynamics with a seven year mission.
Adele isn't afraid to use her own personal experiences to guide Icheb either in his personal life - offering sage advice, even though it could cause complications on a professional level for her and Icheb. I think it is telling and a very brave character of Adele to open up in this manner to former Borg drone rather hapless in the situation. Her grief and loss informs her life but she uses it to help Icheb with his.
Great interaction and character moments here. Captain and No.1 trying to meet on common ground on a matter of issues. Trying to feel out their command relationship, so vital to a working ship and crew harmony. Although, Icheb is very informative in his ideas for future handlings of the council he cannot offer much [or hasn't at least so far] in terms of offering friendship or support that Adele has shown him. So they have a way to go yet but this is a good beginning. Although Adele might have to go elsewhere to seek friendship and counsel. I wonder who?
Very good, nicely grounded and top notch characterisation.
Date: 20 Aug 2009 05:24 Title: Chapter 16
That was a very nice, very laid back captain and first officer moment. For all his intelligence, knowledge of the Delta Quadrant, and Borg-savvy, Icheb is emotionally very young (as his interactions with Maren have underscored). I appreciated that Adele is able to use her own personal history to encourage appropriate relationships among her senior staff, rather than freezing any possibility of a reunion between those two for seven long years.
As she herself realizes, she's going to have to trust in him, in his loyalty and his judgment, or this mission doesn't have a chance at success.
And as much as I worry about Adele's being able to stand strong against a unified advisory board, what happens the first time the captain is abducted or incapacitated, and Icheb has to take a stand against them? Will they usurp his authority? And part of me wonders if the attorney wasn't directed by the admiral to savage Icheb while he observed, probing for weaknesses.
Wonderful material here with very strong characterizations filling in the gaps in our knowledge of these very real characters.
Date: 20 Aug 2009 04:23 Title: Chapter 16
There we go. The captain makes a much needed visit with the crew and her Number One (Picard must be tickled his nickname caught on).
Hopefully, Icheb can patch things up-I want to see the two kids get back together, but I have a sickening feeling that advisory board is going to be poking their noses in Icheb's business.
Great chapter.
Date: 19 Aug 2009 13:21 Title: Chapter 15
I loved this chapter kes7. The interaction and dialogue between JQ and Maren was fun and illuminating. They said a lot about the other's character and traits. Obviously knowing each other so well means that they have a good read on one another. His concern to fill in her tactical training is touching but I think he also knew that she needed and opportunity to blow off steam and to be hitting something. I loved to how she was embarrassed about hitting Icheb but decided she was liking hitting John as the training progressed. There were lots of other funny lines and moments peppered throughout their conversation.
Likewise, I was impressed at Maren's recollections of youth and her aspirations to go out into the stars. It was related in a very clear and simple way but bespoke a lot of her character and dreams. It was very well put together chapter encompassing quite a lot, with different little scenes but devoted to characterisation. A real strength to your writing plus it gives the reader a happy contented feeling. Well done and I like the time out to explore the characters more. Hopefully this transit to the DQ will afford some more pieces like this. But that's just me being greedy.
Date: 19 Aug 2009 07:56 Title: Chapter 15
This is the kind of genuine character interplay that creates 3-dimensional people, not just fictional caricatures. I think I learned more about both Maren and Quigley in this segment than anytime previously. Both have their issues, their strengths, and their weaknesses, but they're going to need to build upon the trust they have in each other for the crises that are surely to come in the next seven years.
Really top notch stuff!
Date: 19 Aug 2009 02:02 Title: Chapter 15
Way to Go John! That's the way to help out a friend (and be exactly the person the captain is telling him not to be...way to go disobeying orders!)
Love the whole chapter.
Author's Response:
Well, he's a tactical officer and he was helping a fellow officer improve her tactical skills ... at least that's what he'd probably tell the Captain if he ever got called out on it. :) In all seriousness, though, Adele never said he couldn't HAVE friends ... just not to let friendships get in the way of duty. The only thin ice I see here is his advice to Maren regarding Icheb ... but then, Maren doesn't sound terribly interested in taking his relationship advice ... I guess we'll see what happens. ;-)
Thanks for the review, and for reading!
Date: 18 Aug 2009 03:44 Title: Chapter 14
What a launch-a meaningful moment between two generations of crews and Icheb and Seven sharing a last goodbye.
"To the journey"
Date: 18 Aug 2009 03:30 Title: Chapter 12
Damn...the captain pretty much called him out on that. I'm not entirely pleased with her decision...
Date: 18 Aug 2009 03:24 Title: Chapter 11
Beckley seems to be something more then a regular old human-part El Aurian?
The advisory board seems like a different Idea for Starfleet-obviously they realize the need for oversight when the big ship is in the delta quadrant.