[Report This]Date: 25 Jan 2022 23:39 Title: Epilogue
Shantok's attack was quite a shock - to the reader as well as to Aubrey. Still not sure where that came from. Evidently she's off her kilter, but something about Aubrey set her off.
The attack aside, her advise is sound. If Aubrey is convinced he is destined to destroy the universe, he might as well go to bed and not get back up. I get the feeling from the final moment with him that he's decided to pretend he has free will but is still really dug into the idea into that he's a creature of dark destiny.
I definitely get the idea he's lying to himself. If so, Shantok is definitely still a pressent threat to him - that a locked door can't protect him from.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: You're right, Shantok's more than a little unbalanced due to the severe mental trauma she suffered. As to her aggression, we might consider the mind-meld with Pava since she spoke his words verbatim during the attack. It will likely take a long while to find herself again. Thanks again for all your commentary.
[Report This]Date: 21 Jan 2022 06:31 Title: Chapter 30
That old "fix your uniform" gag never gets old... I borrowed the idea from Band of Brothers. Also liking the sense from later in the scene that the additional pip comes with a little bit of additional weight.
I've mentioned before that one of the failings of the franchise (especially the original series) was a failure to adequately mourn or even acknowledge casualties.
Quite liking the not entirely comfortable scene between the two captains, conveying a sense of the darkness and danger lurking in both characters. And I really liked the ending with the vorta's open awe for the gambis. Fun to see a vorta in an unvarnished moment.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
I'm glad you savored that scene. It's the first time Sandhurst has had the opportunity to promote one of his bridge officers, despite it being right after a harrowing assignment.
Nobody came out of this situation a winner. Everyone's carrying away scars and trauma. Sandhurst and Aubrey know that rules were broken and omissions got good people killed... more than enough darkness and danger fo the both of them.
The Vorta are realists, if nothing else. They acknowledge the divinity of the Founders, but also the naked power of the Gambis.
Thanks again for all your terrific responses to this story. I'm pleased you've enjoyed it!
[Report This]Date: 17 Jan 2022 21:30 Title: Chapter 29
Quite a costly mission...
I really appreciated the sequence with Juneau - one of the big blind spots of the franchise is simply taking time to mourn and appreciating the enormity of loss.
Also quite enjoyed the sequence with Adol and Aubrey - makes Adol a far more interesting character.
Lots of issues with both captains. Another blind spot in the franchise - simply acknowledging the emotional cost of the types of decisions needed in mind bending situations. Throws the trolley problem into a cocked hat.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: In some regards the two captains have some things in common. Thanks again for your thoughtful feedback.
[Report This]Date: 14 Jan 2022 10:31 Title: Chapter 28
Nice dark hints about why the Federation was so dedicated to developing a relationship with the gambis - who get more interesting with each encounter. Not sure how many people would play dice with the survival of humanity for an alien race that is so... human.
Really nice dark stuff with Sandhurst - he's coming through as quite a gritty character. And a great device to contrast him with Aubrey. Very different characters.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Sandhurst was pushed to edge of sanity's envelope on this mission, and some might well argue, perhaps a bit further. Despite all his good intentions, things went terribly, horribly wrong. Coping with the consequences will take a great deal of time.
[Report This]Date: 12 Jan 2022 09:49 Title: Chapter 27
And the gambis just became far more interesting - emotional critters with demonic appearance and godlike powers. Evidently playing god is not beneath them in much the same way the sea is not above the clouds...
Very fun watching Sandhurst's crew adjusting to a new captain and particularly the interaction between Aubrey and Pell.
Also enjoyed the quick overwhelming of the velk task group with shuttles and runabouts.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 11 Jan 2022 09:44 Title: Chapter 26
Several things I really like about this chapter - starting with taking time to mourn the dead - something all the television series skimped on. Tark was a really interesting and unique character - a tellarite hero.
Also quite enjoying the quality of the writing that brings the interaction between Lar'ragos an Shantok alive. And a fun twist having the captins swapping ships.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 07 Jan 2022 23:24 Title: Chapter 25
Makes sense that what Shantok needs now is listening to. Ironic, since she literally just gave everyone a piece of her mind.
Really enjoying the color on Lar'ragos from an outside POV.
I really liked the dream writing - the dream paralysis is something everyone has experienced. Good dream writing is extremely rare - which is odd considering we all dream. Really like how that dovetailed with Shantok's psi-attack.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 06 Jan 2022 21:44 Title: Chapter 24
Sweet power reveal and payoff for the setup earlier in the story about Shantok's scruples. As Chekov said, if someone's goign to be shot in Act II, be sure to reveal the gun in Act I.
I've lost track of Sharm - I suppose he's on the Intrepid... I also lost track of the boy with the changeling in his head - looking forward to those reveals. Also for whatever Lar'ragos did with the rest of the changeling - which I thought he had put in a can.
I'm liking the relationship between Intrepid and Gibralter crews throughout this story - neither a love fest nor a lot of manufactured conflict. Very believably written.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yes, just two Starfleet crews thrown together in challenging circumstances trying to get the job done...
[Report This]Date: 03 Jan 2022 20:52 Title: Chapter 23
This thriller doesn't skimp on the edge of the seat action and cliff-hangers... Now we have two badly damaged starships and wounded captains. I can just about smell the smoke. Not the velkome Star Fleet was hoping for...
And there's still that kid running around with a piece of changling in him - that's a new wrinkle on changlings. I thought Lar'ragos had the rest of this one in a tin can.
Interested to see if ctrl-alt Juneau 31 makes an appearance...
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 31 Dec 2021 18:12 Title: Chapter 22
Nice little backstory with Juneau and Benjamin - with the perfect interruption provided by an emergency. So it looks like the Sharm was able to give Carris a piece of his mind - the question remains whether Sharm is now releived of it. If so, it might be getting a little thin...
Actually, my favorite part of this scene is the encounter between Juneau and Benjamin. While the rest moves the action forward, interpresonal relationships have always been a staple in Trek - with them being dragged along and distorted by events.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Thanks! Benjamin and Juneau have a lot of baggage between them, old wounds reopened with their encounter.
[Report This]Date: 30 Dec 2021 18:35 Title: Chapter 21
I think I had read in a review or one of the summaries that Rameriz had been KIA - but not the detail that Sandhurst had done it. For all the drama of that moment, I liked that it was written straightforward without the prosaic flourishes other writers might have tried to give to it. Quick and brutal.
Sandhurst definitely would not have made a great Spartan - some very Picard like anguishing over his action. I liked Lar'ragos' explanation of why he passed on promotions.
Probably one of the best literary explorations of the trolly problem I've encountered.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 28 Dec 2021 20:47 Title: Chapter 20
I like the cut to the Captain's log. If you have to show every moment of every action, you'll be mired like the Wheel of Time series (which I gave up on for that reason - come on - I don't need to know exactly how whatshisnose skinned the fish for dinner.)
This villain keeps getting more interesting. So it looks like the Gambis really screwed up this changeling - and he ended up giving Sharm a piece of his mind. So I'm wondering if it's like the Bug in FarScape - if it jumps out of Sharm into the boy, does it leave Sharm entirely leaving Sharm clueless or dead? Or can it divide itself?
Good deal that the doc caught it. And it looks like Avery is on to something else he isn't telling about yet. Lots of interesting questions hanging at the end of this scene.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Glad you’re enjoying the different layers of character villainy. We definitely wanted a Changeling with a complex back story! Oh, and I think you mean “Aubrey” not “Avery”. 😀
[Report This]Date: 26 Dec 2021 18:24 Title: Chapter 19
Nice plot reveal in the midst of action. Really a great little side-plot to the end of the Dominion War - a sick changling partially cured by some other race - along with its contingent of jem'hadar. It definitely tracks much better than a resurgent Dominion would. I really like the jem'hadar becoming more and more independent as they have been cured of their addiction to the white.
Interesting that Star Fleet, Section 31 and enough cardassians are able to keep the secret of the biological weapon deployed against the changelings so that Lar'ragos hasn't heard of it. There were quite a few witnesses.
So what is Lar'ragos planning to do with the goo?
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 25 Dec 2021 23:45 Title: Chapter 18
Ooohh - so the Dominion is involved... And that's a trifecta of bad news. The chances of a rogue changling in Gamma Quad are fairly low. Sounds like a treaty violation. And S31 can get really nasty when an existential threat shows up.
Sandhurst et.al. might find themselves with worse than no backup - a flare up with the Dominion could cause them to become sacrificial lambs. Way to ratchet up the tension...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
There's a lot happening here, a great many moving parts and conflicting motivations. And it wouldn't be Gibraltar's first time being thrown to the wolves now, would it? ;-)
[Report This]Date: 22 Dec 2021 21:02 Title: Chapter 17
Good edge of the chair rescue drama. Transporters are the deus-ex-machina of the Trek verse. Fun way to get around that.
With all the excitement, it will be interesting to see whether the convenience of Sharm's appearance and the CHS disease affecting the people shooting at him will arouse any suspicion.
Looks like a couple of waifs might have gotten lucky...
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 21 Dec 2021 02:37 Title: Chapter 16
Some ground tactical gear and tactics that were underutilized at best in the various television series (probably more for budgetary reasons and time constraints as well as simple inconvenience for the writers.)
Very cinematic scene - and with good dialogue. I like that you have avoided trite - personality-driven conflict within the crew, but drew plenty of conflict from disagreement about policy - with plenty of justification on both sides.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Starfleet, once justly provoked, has quite a bit of military hardware at its disposal. True, some of what I included here hasn't been seen canonically, but I inferred its existance from capabilities we've seen displayed on screen.
Thanks as always for your thoughtful reviews!
[Report This]Date: 18 Dec 2021 02:05 Title: Chapter 15
Sounds like Aubrey is literally of two minds. Always tricky to keep space battles interesting - nice balance here between the relative strengths and tactics of the ships and remote use of the station's tractor beam.
That said, it looks like Star Fleet has taken the bait. Seems the velk can be quite clever...
Interesting character development with Aubrey's recently rediscovered past.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: It’s true our good captain has a lot on his mental plate right now. He’s fighting two battles at this point, one from within and one from without. Thanks again for your thoughts!
[Report This]Date: 17 Dec 2021 03:13 Title: Chapter 14
A data device hidden among a wounded child's organs... That and the entire Camp Hope scenario get across the desperation within this population. Especially with alien viscera. This is some particularly good and gripping storytelling.
Looking forward to finding out what message was so tremendously important.
Good exposition of Sandhurst's thought process - more that a little clouded and distracted. Pell is definitely going to be needed.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
I'm glad the grim, chaotic environment came through as intended in the Camp Hope scene.
Sandhurst is constantly haunted by his perceived past failures, so much so that it can blind him to the realities of present situations. This may, or may not, be one of those times...
Thanks!
[Report This]Date: 15 Dec 2021 22:35 Title: Chapter 13
Always interesting to have an alcoholic character. That's a weakness that's baked in and never goes away. They can't have a drink - they have all the drinks. (Irons is an alcoholic.) They can function quite well and cover - but they pay a heavy price.
Evidently I've missed a few things about Aubrey's past. Looks like he's messed up with Section 31 as well - that would drive anyone to drink...
I figured a velk was behind this. Independent jem'hadar? Yeah - definitely not good...
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 10 Dec 2021 03:12 Title: Chapter 12
I have to agree with Lar'ragos on both counts. Damned if you do, damned if you don't - might as well do the right thing. Either that or give up the entire operation for good.
Things are going to go from bad to worse for the velk. I get the idea they've been through it before.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Pava had a good point, but then, so did Pell. No easy answers for Sandhurst on this one.
Thanks for the review!
[Report This]Date: 07 Dec 2021 21:02 Title: Chapter 11
So there's some history between Juneau and Benjamin. That's probably not going to come back into the story again... I suspected Sandhurst and Avery would get along. Amusing how Lar'ragos and Adol are relating: "You got some of THOSE? Sweet!"
I'm generally opposed to genocide, but a case could be made when it comes to the jem'hadar. The only point to their miserable lives is making everyone else miserable... Wait... no ketrocel white? It can't be that guy - he should have cooked off from old age long ago. Do we have a race of independent jem'hadar? That would be really bad news...
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 06 Dec 2021 21:15 Title: Chapter 10
The changlings are great for Star Fleet morale. I really liked the interplay between Lar'ragos and Shantok, good chemistry developing - and perhaps some unexpected healing as well.
Fun detail that Adol hero worships Lar'ragos. Best line: “I like Andorians,” Lar’ragos replied laconically. “They taste like chicken.”
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Here's hoping Lar'ragos can live up to Adol's expecatations. What's the old expression, never meet your heroes?
Appreciate the feedback!
[Report This]Date: 02 Dec 2021 23:00 Title: Interlude
Star Fleet has really taken a beating. Always a bad idea to underestimate the little guy. Once upon a time Star Fleet was the little guy.
Bets on whether the message gets to Gibralter and Intrepid before they're hopelessly Bogged down...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
I see what you did there! ;-) Yeah, the post-DW period hasn't been terribly kind to the Federation and Starfleet in particular. It's those geo-political aftershocks that sometimes get you after the end of a major conflict.
Thanks for the continued reviews!
[Report This]Date: 01 Dec 2021 20:50 Title: Chapter 9
Gravid - pregnant or momentous... Kudos on teaching me a new word! I was an English teacher and a journalist back in the 80's and have been editing contracts ever since. It's a rare treat when someone expands my vocabulary.
Really fun chapter - I should have seen it coming but didn't - which is particularly good writing - concealing the obvious. Star Fleet is disciplined enough not to attack until they are certain they're shooting at the right target - but not the Velk Patrol...
Sandhurst and Aubrey are cut from similar molds - they ought to get along. "Ought" being the key word...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
I'm delighted I could familiarize you with a new word! :D Yeah, the Velk were a bit trigger-happy here, but given all that's happened, can you really blame them?
[Report This]Date: 30 Nov 2021 21:47 Title: Chapter 8
Starting to look like Star Fleet is about to make an attack run on Star Fleet...
Hopefully Aubrey will figure it out before inflicting damage...
Quite enjoying the dry humor in the midst of turmoil - which seems common to Gibralter's writing as well. Sandhurst and Aubrey should be able to get along... If they don't start out by shooting at each other.
Thanks!! rbs