Date: 22 Jun 2009 18:45 Title: Chapter 12
Alex meets the crew and reveals the wunderkind is awkward around the ladies.
An enlightening look back on the last year of the Federation's resistance to the Borg, as well as the tremendous burden that Commander Douglas has agreed to assume.
I really appreciate the thoughtful way you've presented Starfleet's draw-down as it becomes apparant that the war is, at present, unwinnable. Starfleet's tactics under these circumstances make sense, as depressing and harrowing as they are.
Well done.
Author's Response:
I had to think long and hard about that. I'm glad it comes across so well.
Date: 20 Jun 2009 01:34 Title: Chapter 11
An excellent chapter! Alex joins the crew of the Kansai and Data finds 'Tom' Riker on Nervala IV. Since this Riker was down there for considerably longer than his original universe counterpart, it will be interesting to see how much of his sanity remains intact.
I was a bit surprised by how quickly Chelkan gave in to Alex. I'm wondering if he's simply holding out for the codes, and then plans on ditching the young man someplace with greater relative safety?
Glad you're back and posting again.
Date: 14 Jun 2009 23:17 Title: Chapter 10
What will the crew make of Alex eh? And indeed upon learning of Horatio's death how will they feel bereft of their captain?
And poor Ilara. Quite a wrenching experience.
Date: 09 Jun 2009 19:39 Title: Chapter 10
Great rescue. Seems people have forgotten that Starfleet was composed of CAPABLE people. Time to relearn that lesson quickly...
Date: 09 Jun 2009 19:34 Title: Chapter 9
Yet Arvon continued trying. If for no reason but to prove resistance wasn't futile.
Great line. Awesome. Excellent sequence-I wasn't buying the kid being more clever than a tramp captain who'd managed to survive the Borg.
Date: 09 Jun 2009 15:47 Title: Chapter 10
I just knew Chelkan was going to kick the crap out of Garner and his thugs. That fight was short but sweet. Now Chelkan's going to have to decide what to do about them? Do you allow them to go about their business and risk the Borg finding out about the Kansai if Garner's ship happens to get assimilated?
And where is Alex going to fit in on this newly resurrected starship?
Great stuff. Have a great vacation, we'll all be awaiting the next chapters when you get back.
Date: 06 Jun 2009 11:42 Title: Chapter 9
Oh I like that end line. Very powerful in light of the Arvon's personal circumstances and his commitment to his brother. Wow wee. Liked that loads. Also, this emotional baggage is not like others, who have lost someone, it is much worse, as his brother is like a loadstone round his neck, a pain and a grief he cannot give in to and cannot give up on. That provides plenty of heartache and drama and emotion to the tale.
Data's loss of Geordi too is touching and more so for the almost analytical manner in which he views their relationship and yet attests that he was his first friend.
Alex' situation has become complicated and interesting to say the least. I wonder how this work itself out. The logs of his father are again great to read and provide a wonderful insight. We see quite a bit of the haggard position they are all in as the war increasingly pushes their resources and their abilities to continue the fight.Amid this all are the little touches of people struggling to preserve their way of life, retain some sense of normalacy, with the captain wanting to keep his family onbiard but knowing it won't be for their best. Somethimes jarring to see these touches in amid the war weary and war effort.
Good work. Keep it up.
Date: 06 Jun 2009 11:28 Title: Chapter 8
Just hibernating - ha! Hmmm, well Quentin and Vi'vra might get on like a house on fire or run into a lot of tensions with one another. And by form Vi'vra has some issues with some personnel. Wonder what lies ehind the antagonism between her and Svea.
Nice to see the crew coming together and interacting and to see who works well with one another. Again, liking the flashbacks to the former CO and his words of inspiration to the deputised engineer. Very Pike like from the new movie.
However, I'd have liked had the encounter with the Borg vessel either not happened at this point or been extended to be part of its own chapter. With the Borg conquering the system and Starfleet almost defeated, I'd have liked this first encounter to have been scarier and more knuckle baring. The Borg were despatched easily enough. Would loved to have seen you build up the dram a more and the terror situation of it. Or evade the Borg if wanted a quick get away. Some clever ruse that allowed them to escape. The shuttle detonating or leaving a false trail behind.
Apart from that, really liking. I'm also curius as to what drew the attention of the Borg. Things might very well not be what they seem. Hmmm ...
Author's Response:
The Borg fight was for the very fact that I needed to see the Borg-I know, quite anticlimatic, but trust me, where there is one Borg ship there are more...it's presence will be missed and someone's bound to look fo it. ;)
Date: 06 Jun 2009 10:12 Title: Chapter 9
This chapter had some potent emotional impact. From Sander's tormented captain's log to Arvon's decades long quest to find a cure for his comatose brother and Data's inability to grieve all that he's lost, you've introduced us to a broad palette of characters that I've grown to care strongly about already.
Date: 05 Jun 2009 01:55 Title: Chapter 8
An interesting reunion for the crew, and a nice flashback for Vi'vra. It's going to be entertaining watching these people fit back into their old Starfleet roles, especially with 'civilian contractors' like Quentin onboard addiding to the combustible chemistry.
Close call with the Borg ship. Had it discovered the Kansai and made it safely away, that would have shortened their mission considerably.
Great chapter with equally compelling character interactions!
Author's Response:
Much thanks. Ch. 9 and 10 shall further up the ante.
Date: 04 Jun 2009 19:56 Title: Chapter 8
Cool "Welcome Home" sequence. I liked it-not so depressing as some of your chapters.
Date: 03 Jun 2009 23:58 Title: Chapter 7
Oh so nice to see Data as Data. And he rocks. So sad to see him leaving the Enterprise and his response is so typical. I wonder now what the cargo is. One idea. But might be wrong.
Also great is the introduction of our Cardassian friends. Things are not clear cut. There are lines of differences and various motivations. Nerys is rubbing off on you as we see the Cardassians being fleshed out here. Though in truth you have made an extremely great effort at creating and realising a mulitcultural crew. Kudos.
Author's Response:
Thank you. Actually, Gul Nvrell makes a brief appearance in the Star trek Chroincles Universe in Ch. 9, but was never mentioned again. Plot change on my part there, where I shifted the Cardassians away from being the "supposed enemies" and instead made the Romulans fill that role.
I felt it a huge disservice to the character of Nvrell because I so liked him, but he no longer worked there. Thusly, he has become a central character here and will be on my "B Front" as opposed to the Kansai crew on my "A Front."
I'm glad you liked him. More on Data and Nvell in ch, 9.
Also, yes, Nerys did rub off on me-her take on the Cardassians has inspired me to factor them in more here :)
Date: 03 Jun 2009 19:54 Title: Chapter 7
Oh, yeah, now you're cooking! Go, Data, go! woohoo! (Um, I think the story needed just this kind of injection of familiar face(s).)
Author's Response:
More familiar faces will appear later. ;)
Date: 03 Jun 2009 01:04 Title: Chapter 7
An intense chapter, from the sacrifice of Admiral Haftel and his crew to the discover that Data is still alive in this universe (as the events of Nemesis would never have taken place).
The Cardassians prove once again that they are survivors. The hidden colonies and secrecy are totally in line with their society's mindset, and it strikes me that of all the other AQ powers, perhaps the Cardassians were best prepared to weather the Borg storm that's swept across the quadrant.
One wonders what horrific weapons system Data may have devised in the past 15 years, and whether it is integrated into his own progeny. Obviously, in this reality, Data never completed his emotion chip, and thus is spared the emotional impediments suffered by the rest of the galaxy as people's friends and loved ones were assimilated or killed.
Again, a phenomenal chapter, both troubling as well as deeply engrossing. Pray continue, fine sir!
Author's Response:
Much thanks. One of my favorite chapters to write so far.
Date: 02 Jun 2009 19:58 Title: Chapter 6
A bargain made is hard to go back on, all too often. Quentin might regret his choice.
Author's Response:
Yes, he may...yes he may.
Date: 02 Jun 2009 19:53 Title: Chapter 5
Like the gradual build up to the big reveal, The guile of our Deltan and the growing apprehension of our hero brat. And no, I don't assume he'll be taking over in Engineering. Have other ideas.
Meanwhile, it lokks like Jerry Quentin is getting hoodwinked into a whole heap of trouble. Should be good.
Date: 02 Jun 2009 02:57 Title: Chapter 6
And a reluctant alliance is born. This is well written(barring mispells/dropped letters) and added an air of believability to your tale with the reunion of old friends.
Author's Response:
Much thanks-this is still a WIP, so the misspelling and dropped letters will be there from time to time, but I'm glad you liked the chapter.
Date: 02 Jun 2009 02:35 Title: Chapter 5
I like Jerry. He needs fleshing out but he's a reluctant accomplice, a man doing what he would rather not. You have to take into account that some will not answer the call. That will have an impact on what plays out.
Date: 01 Jun 2009 00:23 Title: Chapter 6
Everyone who reports aboard the Kansai appears to have a host of emotional baggage, but that's to be expected after what they've survived.
Quentin is an uneasy ally so far, and I wonder how far he'll extend himself outside the twin spheres of his comfort zone and profit to assist the crew?
And boy, Chelkan's going to be in for a surprise when the younger Sanders arrives.
Date: 31 May 2009 00:05 Title: Chapter 5
As fascinating as it is depressing. We meet yet another character with a decidedly different viewpoint on Starfleet's recall signal, as well as new insights into the Borg Wars.
We now have people onboard the Kansai. It will be interesting to see just what kind of shape she's in after all these years.
Riveting stuff... keep it coming!
Author's Response:
I shall sir, I shall. Much thanks for the review :)
Ch. 6 shall delve more into this.
Date: 30 May 2009 07:43 Title: Chapter 4
Excellent, more characters and I do like the computer! Quite an attitude! Heh heh. No hope it might be coming aboard too?
An interesting dynamic too, with her personality and cultural aversion to leadership. It should make her command style in Engineering interesting, but might make her more open to listening to the Alex brat. ;)
Interesting stuff you're developing here. Hope though her discoveries don't make the fight too easy. I do wonder at her getting the nebula wrong. Hmmm. Nothing the matter with her, is there?
Author's Response:
You just want something to be wrong with her so that Alex Brat can take over! :)
No, she's fine. As for the computer...well, I haven't decided what to do with him. I think he'll become a secondary character later in the series, but as of now he really ain't much to look at, as Vi'vra says.
As for that Alex brat-what makes you so certain he's going to engineering? *wink*
Date: 30 May 2009 07:26 Title: Chapter 4
Another fascinating ex-crew member from the Kansai. It looks as this one might have some tricks up her sleeve in regards to the Borg. I liked her prickly AI and her species' unique outlook on hierarchical group dynamics.
This was a very good character biography in a condensed chapter. You did a lot with a little, and that's no mean feat.
Author's Response:
Much thanks. It was very hard to develop, but it kinda occured to me that in American culture, the leader position is always held in such high value-the benfits, the salarly, the distinction-I just thought, what if the group were elevated to where the leader is? And it just came out like this. I'm glad you liked it.
Date: 29 May 2009 19:35 Title: Chapter 4
Very interesting character. 2 problems-Its the Kobyashi Maru test-and no one passes it. It's literally a test to destruction. Other than that, cool bit. I like her computer. :)
Author's Response:
Well, when I said "pass" it's more in the sense that she completed the test. You see, as it went, she never completed the test, giving up on previous times. She couldn't stand not winning and blamed it on herself Perhaps I'll add that bit in to make it more clear.
And I like the computer too :)
Date: 29 May 2009 02:53 Title: Chapter 3
An intense look back to the height of the Borg Wars, and another contemporary look at the last vestiges of Federation societies (and Romulans & Klingons) benefiting from each other's knowledge and experience.
This keeps getting better and better. I'm anxious to meet the Kansai, wherever they've hidden her.
Author's Response:
Right, Chapter 6 will cover that. Glad you liked it :)
Date: 28 May 2009 23:03 Title: Chapter 3
Look forward to seeing how he copes with his new challenges, then. Wicked.