Definitely a setup for a series - with a few unanswered questions, most cogently Whren and Grayson. And of course Helcon, who may have appeared earlier in this chapter. The whole operation seems tailor made to create a new mech force arms race. And whoever builds the things already has a jumpstart on a huge market.

34th Rule of Acquisition..

Hopefully there's more of this over on either your site or on TrekBBS.

Thanks!! rbs

23rd Century Elevator music... Beastie Boys?

Okay - Mech shooting the Graysondroid - that was an unexpected development. Always nice to get a surprise this late in the game.

Nice political pickle for Star Fleet - WHy am I suspecting it was a deliberate attempt to bring the Federation into a civil conflict with a major committment of force?

Thanks!! rbs

Nothing like saving the damsel in distress. But not the dress...

Really cinematic scene - which is not an easy trick.

Looks like we're heading into the wrap.

Thanks!! rbs

We were bound to get another literal cliff-hanger in this story...

I had thought maybe the android was temporarily frozen by Mech's hack - but evidently not. Nice deception!

Thanks! rbs

I am amused by the number of Beatles songs that appear as chapter titles... Oddly echoes the number of song titles in STH Ep.25

The cross play between several different agencies is reminiscent of some of the best moments of Law & Order, Ghost, Mentalist and several other programs. I'm not certain law enforcement actually works that way on the ground, but it makes for riviting storytelling.

Thanks!! rbs

One action sequence after another... I'm enjoying Tank's relating to Katanagi and Mech reminds me more and more of Motoko - almost making this story a crossover. Fun to see it in the Trek setting. Good, tightly written action sequence. 

Thanks!! rbs

Interesting to have a Star Trek fanfic in which Star Fleet is largely an antagonist to be sidelined. I can't say I've seen this approach in any other fanfic - something I'm liking about this one.

Thanks!! rbs

Just good stright up action with lots of fun banter. The scene does have a familiar feel, but none the worse for wear and well written for a visual sequence that is generally much easier to put on screen than on the page.

Thanks!! rbs

Good hero moment for Tank. I appreciate the storytelling that he cannot save all of the hostages. Interestingly dedicated terrorists - their like are in the news all the time. People who will sacrifice their own lives without hesitation to kill.

Thanks!! rbs

Boy is that an old argument - and a current one. Grayson is making a classic case for Social Darwinism which is pretty much the antithesis of western democratic traditions and norms. And an argument that will almost certainly persist in some form.

I am amused by the 20th Century style news and commentary program - which, surprisingly, will also probably persist far into the future. Current commentary podcasts look very much like this with platforms and followers designed to attract increasingly notorious pundits.

Thanks!! rbs

Nothing like the big guy taking care of a few frightened escapees... Assuming Katanagi isn't more than she appears. But she seems genuine enough...

Quite enjoying Tank.

Thanks!! rbs

Nice detail about the Federation logo glowing in the night skyline. Touches like that bring a story visually to life. Also enjoying the inclusion of Gavin's family.

Also good character exposition through conversation. That is often really tricky and I've seen attempts that completely killed the narrative flow and were totally not the way people gossip. The moment between Gavin and Hot Rod was handled well.

Also very much liking Hot Rod's closing response about only being a driver.

Thanks!! rbs

Nice character development with Gavin in this chapter - particularly keeping his cool to not fire on Mech when she startled him. The competing investigations gag is always great for these kinds of stories and played out well here with a satisfactory level of bargaining.

If someone appears to be in two locations at once... you might be dealing with twins... or an army of androids? Seems if they could put a trace on those androids one of them might lead them somewhere interesting...

Thanks!! rbs