Date: 05 Jun 2009 19:41 Title: Q's Challenge
I think you did fine! Um, don't they need to learn the rules?
Author's Response: That comes in the next chapter... which I'll have out once this writer's block goes away and when I finally move all my documents from my craptop to my good computer.
Date: 05 Jun 2009 19:37 Title: The New Security Chief
Ok, its an intro. Let's see where it goes.
Date: 01 May 2009 06:15 Title: The New Security Chief
Ok, Proud, you owe me a beer, because I spit mine out when I read the name of Elise's pet. I wonder, is Truman a tiger? And if so, what does he answer if I say "M-I-Z" to him?
Outside of that, I thought you had a good start here, it's clearly creative. But, I let me warn you, don't use extra exclaimation points. (For example, "Q!!") One will suffice quite well. In addition, bear in mind that while we know what the Enterprise looks like, we don't know whether a Galaxy-class vessel is "tail-friendly" or not. Take us on a little jaunt with our Tauran friend. It will let us get to understand her better as a character and also see the ship from her own eyes.
Keep going, this is a good starting point. Now, think less about "picking up the pace" and just write what you feel.
Author's Response: LOL!!! Truman's a cat, but he has markings like a tiger. And if you say "M-I-Z" to him he'll meow loudly (and happily) at you. ;) Yes, he IS named after Truman the Tiger, Mizzou's mascot.
I've read in several places that extra exclamation points are ok if used sparingly and only to provide extra emphasis. Usually, only two maximum. Picard was pissed when he yelled at Q, thus the extra exclamation.
Sadly, there won't be much ship-related action in this story, as it mostly takes place in the area that Q poofed everyone to. But in the other fic I have planned, one that'll focus a bit more on Elise, I'll definitely explore that aspect a bit more. ;)
On an additional note... wow! I didn't know so many people would be interested in seeing a half-Tauren character! Almost makes me feel bad that I had her turned into a full human for this story!
Date: 27 Apr 2009 21:46 Title: The New Security Chief
Neato. I think having a cat might give a connection between Elsie and Data. Strange to think of a cat as a plot point :)
With her Tauren heritage she appears to have gotten off light. I dare say the dad was miffed with the horns being removed. However, the tail is a nice detail and the fact her cat likes to play with it is a cute and fun image in my head. I wonder does the Tauren heritage offer any personality traits. Stubborn? Bullheaded [excuse the deliberate pun]? What happens if she does become enraged? [I know you mentioned that more genial than Klingons but I am interested, it'll be great to see where this goes in terms of exploring her character]
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! You'll see some character bits throughout the fic (in fact, you'll get an idea of Elise's temper when Q comes in), and I do plan on writing a separate fic that focuses more on her developing friendships with the crew, but I'm skipping a good deal of that in this fic since I feel it has no place, and I'm eager to get this story going ;). That still doesn't mean there isn't any character development at all though!