[Report This]Date: 22 Sep 2021 19:49 Title: Epilogue – Tidying Up
Very happy to see Elisto headed home. He is a very endearing character and it gives a strong sense of verisimitude to have characters retiring out of service. Also liking the conflict resolution.
And an enjoyable coda for Pell - still unresolved - no doubt she is a ticking time bomb... The Bajora Teva are a great addition to ST cultures. Bajorans are automatically sympathetic because we meet them in the wake of the Cardassian Occupation and the existence of an order of badass bajoran warrior monks draws a cheer... until it's revealed they follow a pagh wraith and can turn out to be fanatacal baddies - with the added complication that their gods actually dwell among them.
Very much enjoying the coda for Anij - where better for her to find refuge?
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
I'm happy you enjoyed the story! Thank you for commenting.
[Report This]Date: 20 Sep 2021 09:23 Title: Chapter 18
I have always been a fan of Jellico - very much a cold warrior playing the long game. Also liking the detail of the klingon winning honor by sacrificing honor - a trope in samauri stories. Very nice twist here - I particularly like the presence of the reminders of Khitomer.
Of course everyone got quite lucky with the alshin coup - that was a risky calculation. I really liked the detail of the priest throwing blood on Jedella and his palladins. Really good detialed world building.
Thanks! rbs
Author's Response:
Thanks! It wasn't too much of a stretch to imagine Jellico and like-minded associates maneuvering a well-meaning humanitarian like Picard into a mission of mercy with a high likelihood of devolving into a shooting war. Throw Gibraltar’s equally well-meaning captain into the mix and you’ve got yourself a big ol’ mess. Glad you’re enjoying it!
[Report This]Date: 15 Sep 2021 08:46 Title: Chapter 17
The galaxy will not bitterly miss Jedella... Here's hoping someone's keeping an eye on the border.
Really enjoyed the character development on Taiee and Murakawa.
Alas for S'Elani - looks like he won't be earning his sept any medals. Quite enjoying the depiction of both him and Shelby - doing her job with ruthless effidiency.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
For Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, look no further than USS Sutherland. I'm pleased you liked the truce between our medical types, after such a fraught beginning.
[Report This]Date: 13 Sep 2021 21:22 Title: Chapter 16
Really nice job with Picard's voice - and Riker and Troy. Few writers manage Troy is rarely written well. Most people do okay with Picard, but the detail of courts-martial really sells it. Picard would use the more archaic plural.
Also nicely developed ethical quandry for all parties as well as Riker kind of biting his tongue with Sandhurst.
Also great character development with Pava and Guynan - and you handled her voice quite well also. Some franchise characters are harder to write than others.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
High praise, indeed! Thank you!
[Report This]Date: 10 Sep 2021 20:08 Title: Chapter 15
An unreadable el aurian - very interesting... Especially since he retains that characteristic in his weakened state.
Picard is about to get a hell of a report - but he may be a bit too distracted to appreciate it. Sandhurst has probably earned a few points with him in the process, more for rescuing Anij than for the rather clever last minute tactics.
Some really good choices in the development of Sandhurst and Lar'ragos in their confrontation - making both characters richer in this context.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 08 Sep 2021 21:06 Title: Chapter 14
That was a delightful romp for Sandhurst - some very creative, quick thinking tactics. Really quite a fun read.
So the badass bajoran warrior monks are following one of the pah-wraith? Oh... that's unfortunate... Possibly quite unfortunate for Pell. Very interesting twist.
Kudos for such a plethora of callbacks - the Briar Patch, the Cardassian Occupation and now the pah-wraith - quite the kettle of fish..
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 06 Sep 2021 16:10 Title: Chapter 13
Really enjoyed the dialgoue with Shelby on the Sutherland - humans finding humor in grim situations (Operation Rescue Frenchy...- rofl!)
Also really liking the difficult interaction between Ramirez and Bral - as much as you want these people to get along (and they might want to get along) it's just not going to be that easy.
And enjoying Yejokk - I like seeing klingons presented with some depth. Looks like the cavelry are on the way - but will they get there in time..
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 04 Sep 2021 23:18 Title: Interlude
Strong incentive for the Alshin to keep the embassy under threat without taking action - to keep an asset like that pinned where it is.
Given the level of hostility, the Federation could evacuate the embassy and withdraw their ambassador - which is pretty much admitting to a state of war.
Very much a sorrows of empire situation - which folds into the mood of the last STNG storylines.
Very nice story format - intermission.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yes, a formidable starship sidelined as a contingency. The Alshain work on many levels, given their long history and their peculiar outlook on galactic history.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
[Report This]Date: 02 Sep 2021 23:49 Title: Chapter 12
What a fun scrum - no one knows what's happening anywhere. Great fog of war stuff.
Look at Picard - kicking ass and taking names... And rueing it - but the Alshin have already made their intentions toward the Federaiton clear. Best to pop a wolf on the muzzle before it attacks.
Superb on the spot analysis on Sandhurst's part - that the badass bajoran warrior monks might try to beam out the only bajoran on his ship - which would remove his one point of leverage with them.
And kudos to Bral for having the courage and curiousity to surrender.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 31 Aug 2021 20:29 Title: Chapter 11
Kind of liking Ramirez's rather brutal solution. Not very Star Fleet, but quite possibly effective. The badass bajoran warrior monks haven't earned her trust yet..
Interesting to see two captains behaving obsessively. And to their credit pulling back, but probably pulling back a bit late.. And Wuuten's obsessive behavior is a powerful counterpoint.
There's definitely a sense of the futility of the confused loyalties while the bajorans, son'a and Star Fleet are all being hunted by the alshin. Afraid the universe won't miss Wuuten - will probably be a better place without him..
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yeah, nobody here's showing their best side. Desperation tends to breed poor impulse control, and everyone here's desperate to achieve something.
Thanks again for the reviews!
[Report This]Date: 30 Aug 2021 19:51 Title: Chapter 10
I am totally loving these Quixotic, anachronistic badass bajoran warrior monks! It's one of those great setups for sympathetic characters to end up mistakenly in conflict. And these poor sods have been left out in the cloud by the prophets even through they have an orb.
Assuming it's actually an orb...
Hopefully a bajoran diplomat can help sort it out - if she doesn't inadvertently start a shooting war first by her mere presence..
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 29 Aug 2021 10:42 Title: Chapter 9
Really well-told tale and a rich background for Sandhurst and Ojana. Lots of depth in both the history and in the false memories. Interesting how that event continues to impact Sandhurst.
Lar'ragos in battle is always a highlight of these stories. Very well written passage.
The gratitude of the Son'a is appropriatley memorable. Nothing like cutting off your nose to spite your face..
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yes, Lar'ragos can be a wicked sort when called upon to be so. I'm glad you enjoyed the more introspective interactions between Donald and Ojana.
[Report This]Date: 27 Aug 2021 23:46 Title: Chapter 8
Methinks the hara cat is about to encounter a wolf.. I'm thinking that if they don't end up killing one another, these bajorans might find Pava to be a long lost brother. Nice conflict setup.
As for Picard, we've definitely seen his obsessive side more than once. I'm kind of with N'Saba on this one - not a lot of good options in this situation. Handing down justice in the middle of it might not ba advisable. But best to know who's done what - the knives are definitely out.
And a momentary victory and reprieve for the Belleraphon - again, nice tension building.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. Yeah, there are a lot of moving parts from here on out, as all our players jockey to try and achieve their various goals, most of which are at odds with one another.
Date: 26 Aug 2021 20:08 Title: Chapter 7
Ooohh... lying to badass bajoran warrior monks.. that's probably not going to go well.
And Star Fleet is in trouble - one ship lost and another nearly helpless
The enthusiasm of Gibraltar's crew for the away mission is rather endearing. After all they've been through and all their trepidation about the mission, they're still chomping at the bit to do their jobs.
Nice line from Sandhurst. Reminds me of my favorite line from one of the recent Batman movies: "Dr. Crane isn't here right now.. But if you'd like to leave a message.."
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
No plan survives contact with the enemy, and Starfleet is suffering its fair share of losses here. The question is, was this worth doing given the costs?
[Report This]Date: 24 Aug 2021 18:19 Title: Chapter 6
Really nice world-building with the Alshin - are these your creation? They are quite vivid and the culture has a lot of depth. Also some interesting (and no doubt canon) Earth history at the expense of the Chinese.
For some reason Pell Ojana seems familiar - not certain if I may have encountered her in another UT story.
So the Gibraltar is being sent to the rescue (or wreck) of Ba'ku. Well, Sandhurst could probably use a little of that regenerative magic, but I doubt he'll get time to enjoy it...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
The Alshain are the creation of my fellow United Trek writer, DarKush, as is Pell Ojana. You may have read about her in some of his Dark Territory tales that can be found here: http://unitedtrek.org/star-trek-dark-territory/
The situation at Ba'ku is complicated, and about to become even more so...
[Report This]Date: 23 Aug 2021 23:48 Title: Chapter 5
I do like the klingon sauce at the end - don't brag to a klingon - they're not impressed. He saved them a fight and R'Voss' gave him sauce - very nice payback. The Alshin are a rather unpleasant lot.
Quite an enjoyable ruse on behalf of the Thruuma II leadership.
Really good character development with Sandhurst and Pell. Helps round out the characters for a deeper story.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yeah, Yejokk's a good one for the Klingon snark. I'm glad you enjoyed the more intimate character moments between Pell and Sandhurst, these two go back a ways. Thanks for reading and commenting!
[Report This]Date: 20 Aug 2021 20:31 Title: Chapter 3
Great description of parisi squares - it's not exactly croquet... And I have to give it to Ramirez - she does speak her mind when given the opportunity. A bajoran diplomatic officer whom Sandhurst has history with - intriguing...
But the big reveal is BADASS BAJORAN WARRIOR MONKS!!! So they do have a prophet motive... Okay - how can a story not rock when it has badass bajoran warrior monks?
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
They are indeed Badass Bajoran Warrior Monks! :D Ones that have become embroiled in a very complex and fragile alliance.
[Report This]Date: 18 Aug 2021 20:18 Title: Chapter 2
Just what the Alpha quadrant needs a whole lot more of... Badass Bajoran Mercenaries!! But who are these guys working for? And would the prophets approve?
Maybe they're a not-for-prophet organization...
Sandhurst was the one tormented, but Ramirez seems to be the one with the PTSD in this scene. Riker's a little touchy too. I can definitely hear Frakes delivering those lines. Picard is fairly easy to write for - Riker's voice is much harder to get right. Frakes delivers his lines with a distinctive cadence. Nice mission background on the Enterprise.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
I think anyone who saw combat in the Dominion War likely came away with some form of PTSD, and Ramirez saw more than her fair share. I'm glad you feel I got Riker's voice right. Writing for the canon characters for the first time was quite challenging.
[Report This]Date: 17 Aug 2021 22:23 Title: Chapter 1
A win right from the start - as soon as Jellicoe is involed. Easily my favorite underrated leader from the series. Not a particularly likeable guy, but definitely admiral material. And I can easily hear Ronnie Cox delivering the line "walk away smelling like a rose.."
I particularly like the relationship angle - have to go with Ramieriz on this one. Thorpe isn't ready - and long-distance relationshiops are really problematic when it's light-years..
Alas for the Baku - learning agian the bitter lesson that the low-tech lifestyle is only sustainable in a low-tech universe. Especially when you let the kids get into the neighbors' yard.
Thanks! rbs
Author's Response:
Kids getting into the neighbor's yard... so very apt! Yes, they did in fact do just that. And now their parents are being forced to pay for their childrens' mistakes. Thanks for commenting!
Date: 28 May 2013 18:15 Title: Chapter 8
Wow, hard to believe that it has been almost 3 years since I last read and reviewed a chapter of this story! How time flies!
And how great to get back into the adventures of the Gibraltar and her crew, especially Ramirez and Pava. I have missed them, a lot. It is just as much fun to get back to these characters as to any of the characters in canon Trek or the expanded universe of the novels, testament to your wild skills G-man! :)
Some fantastic moments in this chapter: Pava's crack about there being worse things than the Borg in the DQ (do I hear Hirogen bells a-ringing?), Picard knocking back N'saba, Data turning off his emotion chip and freaking everybody out... You have a good grasp of all these characters, those you invented and those you are just borrowing.
Underscoring all of this, obviously, is the worsening situation in the Patch. T'Adgi and her ship survive with the skin of their teeth and little else, letting Enterprise know how bad things are getting. And back on the planet there is one hell of a confrontation brewing.
This reminded me why I loved these stories so much and why I so need to get back to them now. Thanks!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the high praise, CS! I'm pleased you're enjoying the story as you delve back into it.
Date: 26 Aug 2012 10:57 Title: Epilogue – Tidying Up
Wow...first off, note to self: don't piss off Shelby.
Overall, this was a fun story (yes, very depressing killing the colony and then the random ship exploding). It'll be interesting to see the repercussions of the new Bajorans when they show up on Bajor's doorstep.
Pava still rules.
Though Shelby might have gone up a few pegs close to him.
Author's Response:
Date: 16 Apr 2012 22:33 Title: Chapter 4
Excellent continuation of the story. I loved the CO-XO war of words. poor Taiee, loosing her CMO status. But I am sure she will be back. Nice to see Pava back to a likable character as well.
And I was wondering where the klingon would come in, seeing the klingon name for the briar patch kept me wondering when they would pop their ridges up. Can't wait until I read more.
Author's Response:
Oh, there's no shortage of people anxious to cause trouble in the Briar Patch! Thanks for reading.
Date: 10 Apr 2012 21:45 Title: Chapter 2
oh wow. What a good story developing. And I feel it is brave that you have pited Sandhurst against Picard and Ramirez against Riker. Something I would never do as I don't have the capability. but it works wonderfully between the couplings as it were. Well done. The little revelation at the end of the chapter is great too. Another story starting brilliant as usual.
Author's Response:
Thank you, David. I liked the challenge of taking Picard and Riker out of that 'exhalted' status for just a bit to examine how other less notable officers might interact with them one-on-one. Granted, Ramirez isn't automatically correct in her assessments, but she *does* have some salient points.
[Report This]Date: 01 Aug 2010 18:54 Title: Chapter 7
Wow, so much happening in this chapter...
First off, what an opening. The destruction of the Argonaut was really well written - the omniscient tone to the beginning worked quite well, kind of like reading a Tom Clancy scene.
The scene with Anij and Gallatin was interesting, giving us a glimpse into the Son'a end game and the reason for their alliance with the Dominion.
Then we get the scene on the bridge, with some A-class dialogue, and the mission down to the planet... Can't wait to see how this develops. As Lightner says: Away we go...
Author's Response:
Thanks! I did a lot of scene hopping in this chapter and was worried it might have suffered for it. Glad to read that it worked as intended. :-)
[Report This]Date: 20 Jul 2010 15:11 Title: Chapter 6
An excellent chapter. The added depth you provided this universe through the intervention of Ambassador Dejong was welcome, giving us a glimpse into the bigger picture.
I also thought you captured Picard and Riker really well - the scene in the ready room was very reminiscent of a similar scene in one of the movies (First Contact? Generations) and I thought you nailed both characters' voices.
Well done, great job!
Author's Response:
Thanks! I wanted to examine the larger galactipolitical ramifications of the Briar Patch situation, and the ambassador's visit seemed a great way to do that.
I patterned the conversation between Picard and Riker on their readyroom scene from First Contact (good eye!). I wanted to build on the sense of friendship and professional respect that scene demonstrated by using something similar to examine their current predicament.
I appreciate the feedback.