[Report This]Date: 26 Apr 2010 12:34 Title: Chapter 5
Ouch, the new CMO's 'good idea' backfired badly there, didn't it! I feel really sorry for Taiee and it looks like Sandhurst now has a major morale issue on his hands...
I liked your handling of the Enterprise crew - they came across really well, very true to character.
And we learn at least some of the reason why the Alshain and the Sona do not get on... Though I'm a little confused by the reference to ketracel white - did they develop ketracel white for the Dominion or get it from them??
Another great chapter, look forward to reading the rest!
Author's Response:
I'm pleased you're enjoying the story. Actually, the Son'a were producing Ketracil-White some decades prior to the discovery of the Bajoran wormhole and First Contact with the Dominion, only they marketed it as a narcotic to the Alshain and others. It's one of the reasons the Son'a became a sought-after ally to the Dominion during the war after the wormhole was closed to the Founders.
[Report This]Date: 26 Apr 2010 12:32 Title: Chapter 4
A hugely uncomfortable conversation there between Sandhurst and Ojana, that ended much less badly than I had anticipated.
And the Briar Patch situation becomes even more complication and deadly...
Author's Response:
We've only just scratched the surface on the backstory between Sandhurst and Pell. As with nearly everything, it's more complex than it might first appear. ;-)
[Report This]Date: 26 Apr 2010 12:31 Title: Chapter 3
Loved this chapter, from the Parisses squares opening to the Ramirez-Sandhurst stuff. I'm looking forward to learning more about the relationship between Sandhurst and the diplomatic officer now! :)
As for the Taiee situation - great way to create some more tension on board this ship, though I feel badly for Taiee!!! :)
Great job!
Author's Response:
Thanks! Yes, Taiee really got blind-sided here, though through no fault of her own. This is one of those occasions where the priority of the mission takes presidence over the CMO's ego.
[Report This]Date: 29 Jan 2010 15:30 Title: Chapter 2
Bajorans! WTF?!
Interesting to see Ramirez bad mouth Enterprise like that, not something we see every day. Still, she's right that Picard is far from infallible and it will be interesting to see whether she has read him and his intentions correctly.
And can I just say BRAVO on the opening passage, really descriptive and atmospheric, a joy to read.
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoyed the fracas in the Briar Patch. :-) Yes, Ramirez was transferring a lot of her angst onto Picard, Riker & Company in the face of a mission she's not crazy about. Fortunately, she's professional enough to suck it up and get the job done.
[Report This]Date: 29 Jan 2010 15:22 Title: Chapter 1
Hi Gibraltar!
Well, it's good to be back with the crew of Gibraltar, and I'm especially excited to know this is going to bring Picard into your little corner of the galaxy as well.
You did a good job of establishing the Baku back into our minds, painting a picture of what happened in Insurrection with a few well placed brush strokes. It was good to see Anij again, and the following scene where the town has been destroyed was a real kick to the stomach. I doubt Picard is going to be happy.
And then we get our first glimpse back at Gibraltar's crew. Liana is still a great character, and it will be interesting to see how she develops, as well as her relationship with Captain Sandhurst.
Good stuff!
Author's Response:
I'm glad to have you onboard for the third installment of Gibraltar!
I'm gratified that my brief refresher on the Ba'ku and Son'a wasn't too much of an info dump. As for the Ba'ku village, the Alshain are a whole different animal than the Son'a, and aren't known for their discretion.
[Report This]Date: 04 Nov 2009 04:02 Title: Epilogue – Tidying Up
Such a sweet, hopeful ending to such an exciting tale ... yet the promise of more action to come lingers in the background. Well done!
Author's Response:
Thanks! I wanted the ending to be a more serene counterpoint to the frantic pace of the mission, to show the crew actually relaxing and enjoying themselves for a change.
[Report This]Date: 04 Nov 2009 03:11 Title: Chapter 16
Sandhurst stood up to Picard and Riker quite admirably, and I enjoyed Deanna's spying on Riker's thoughts about him. Go get her, Donald!
Looks like the Alshain will be seeking some serious revenge.
Pava and Guinan ... ouch, that was heartbreaking. I love how you've fleshed out the El Aurians via Pava and now his interactions with Guinan. What a tragic story theirs is. To live so long with such pain, and all those memories. I feel for both of them.
Wonderful stuff.
Author's Response:
In this circumstance, Donald was quite willing to go against orders to try and rescue Ojana. He wouldn't have enjoyed it, but he would have done it.
The Alshain are indeed plotting a terrible retribution for the Federation's meddling in their affairs. Here's hoping cooler heads prevail.
Lar'ragos and Guinan are opposite sides of the same coin. Whereas Guinan has learned to live with the pain and grief of her past and put them behind her when/where appropriate, Pava channels his into his unique skill set, which ends up creating just that much more regret. He hates what he's become, but he revels in it at the same time.
[Report This]Date: 04 Nov 2009 02:44 Title: Chapter 14
Wow, Ojana faces down the devil himself (or at least what she thinks of as the devil).
Taiee had quite a learning moment there, didn't she? Guess it's time to wean off the EMH. Glad good old Pava pulled through (though I had a feeling he would, the man has more lives than a cat).
Sandhurst hyped up on adrenaline is awesome.
Author's Response:
Ojana was faced with one of her ultimate fears in the form of a pah-wraith threatening the peace and stability of Bajor. Unfortunately, as she remembers nothing of the experience, she's unable to try and prevent any of that from happening.
Taiee did indeed learn a powerful lesson about her limitations when the EMH isn't available. And as for Pava... yes, once again he survived, though between you and me I wonder if at this point he really cares that much any more?
Date: 04 Nov 2009 01:33 Title: Chapter 12
You're certainly good with the action scenes. Ashok is an awesome chief engineer -- definitely the most badass I've ever seen.
Author's Response:
Ashok's problem is that he's an average engineer commanding a department with average and below-average personnel. Sometimes he's got to get a tad bit creative in the motivational and task-priority instruction side. ; )
Thanks regarding the actions scenes. I was trying to convey multiple plot-threads and a host of different ships without making it too confusing.
[Report This]Date: 04 Nov 2009 00:31 Title: Chapter 11
Wow, look at Liana taking charge ... she's a fierce protector of her crew, you can really tell she's meant to be a starship captain someday. And I'll try not to cry now, having been spoiled ....
Sandhurst is playing with fire ... we'll see how that goes.
Fascinating stuff from Gallatin and Anij.
Author's Response:
Fierceness is perhaps one of her best attributes. And yes, I'm right there with you on that.
[Report This]Date: 03 Nov 2009 23:30 Title: Chapter 10
And now I’ve given up our away team.’ Sandhurst fumed internally.
I love that you let him make mistakes.
And really, anything else I had to say about this chapter was blown away by the action sequence at the end. I have to go find out what Liana is going to do now ...
Author's Response:
Oh, yes. Sandhurst is still very much in a learning mode when it comes to command decisions. Methinks Adele would have made a better choice at that juncture.
[Report This]Date: 03 Nov 2009 22:28 Title: Chapter 9
I loved the interaction between Sandhurst and Ojana here. Beautiful stuff.
The banter of Lightner and Ramirez interrupted by .... oh, crap! That was quite an ambush.
The Pava scene had me wincing. How soon you remind us what he's capable of after a couple of nice scenes in the last chapter ...
And they've been found. We'll see what happens! (Edge of my seat ....)
Author's Response:
Sandhurst and Pell have a lot of old wounds to try and repair, and Donald's recent experiences won't make that easy.
Sometimes even people of Ramirez and Lar'ragos' experience level can get jumped. Good thing for them the Bajora-Tava were taking prisoners today.
When confronted by life-or-death situations, Pava reverts back to what he knows... which is unfortunate for any poor soul on the receiving end.
[Report This]Date: 03 Nov 2009 22:14 Title: Chapter 8
“Yes, initiate evasive pattern run-the-hell-away, best speed.”
Love that. Exatly the kind of thing I would say if someone was crazy enough to make me a starship captain.
“There are worse things in the Delta Quadrant than the Borg, Commander.” Lar’ragos elaborated cryptically, then stood and stretched.
Isn't that the truth ...
There was a lot to like in this chapter. Lightner's feelings about his brother and his crush on Dunleavy ... Pava giving Shanthi sound advice based on his own experience and being willing to share his more vulnerable side ... N'Saba challenging Picard. Good stuff. Nice touch with Data deactivating his chip and others noticing and finding it unsettling ... I can imagine for the good folks on the Enterprise, Data and his chip are the barometer of exactly how worried they should be.
Author's Response:
Regarding Data, yes, an emotional barometer is exactly what I was going for. : ) When he's switched it off, it's going to be a bad day.
I'm glad you enjoyed the little character moments I tried to sprinkle throughout the chapter. Much obliged for the review.
Date: 15 Oct 2009 02:45 Title: Chapter 3
I loved the description of the parrises squares game. Seeing Pava have fun was great, he's really improved his emotional state since I last saw him (or at least he seems to have).
The sickbay scene was bittersweet, to say the least. The new doctor seems very nice, though.
I'm fascinated by the development with the Bajorans.
And Ramirez and Sandhurst's converation was good stuff.
Okay, sorry, can't review more thoroughly, have to read what happens next!
Author's Response:
The parrises squares game was a lot of fun to write, though I must confess I still haven't a clue about all the particulars of the game, despite having made most of it up myself. ;) Taiee is feeling pretty unappreciated right about now, through no fault of her own, but it's Starfleet and these things happen on occasion.
Sandhurst and Ramirez are still trying to figure each other out, and Donald's recent ordeal hasn't helped matters any. They've both got legitimate points here, but as Sandhurst said this will have to be one of those agree-to-disagree occasions.
Thanks for the review!
Date: 15 Oct 2009 02:36 Title: Chapter 2
Wow, look at Liana pick a fight with Riker! Great scene between the two of them. Throughout the chapter, you nailed Picard's voice, too.
Bajorans? Hmmm.
Author's Response:
I'm glad to hear it, thank you. I was worried that I might not capture the 'voice' of the canon characters in this story, and I'm pleased that you feel I have thus far.
Date: 15 Oct 2009 02:29 Title: Chapter 1
Nice to see Jellico again, and hear about Picard! Good debate between the Admirals.
Wow, that was a great insight into Liana after two stories where she was present but a little mysterious. I feel like I know her much better now. Very well-written, believable, heartfelt stuff from both characters in this chapter, too.
Author's Response:
Liana's a tough nut to crack. Due to her upbringing, she's very guarded around others, most especially where intimate relationships are concerned. I was glad to get the chance for a bit closer examination of what makes her tick in this story.
As for Jellico... yeah, he's still the Jellico we all love to hate. Only he doesn't know that, of course, and sees his own actions as being just and appropriate to the situation.
Date: 28 Sep 2009 23:59 Title: Epilogue – Tidying Up
Really nice end and way to wrap it all up. Leaves just enough questions unanswered for future installments. I look forward to the next. The crew and ship have become something of an addiction, a must read!
Author's Response:
Thanks once again for the thoughtful reviews. :) I'm pleased you enjoyed the story.
Date: 28 Sep 2009 23:53 Title: Chapter 18
It's good to see that cooler heads prevailed in regard to the Alshain. Jellico. Grrr. Never have liked the man or his tactics, but I can't really argue with the results. The night people must do their work so the day people can live in peace.
Author's Response:
Yes, his plan was underhanded, dangerous, and ultimately very costly. But... it may have been worth it, depending on who you ask.
Date: 28 Sep 2009 23:40 Title: Chapter 17
Your grasp of tactics never ceases to amaze as well as entertain. That was a bloody brilliant way of getting rid of the mine field and the blockade. I hoped against hope that these powerful weapons mentioned were included, but it was not to be.
Picard's moment with Anij was very touching. I felt for both of them.
Author's Response:
It was a brutal tactic, and one Shelby was obviously pained to have to use. Unfortunately, the Alshain didn't give her any other choice.
And thanks, I was aiming for short and sweet with that Picard/Anij scene, glad to know it came across as intended.
Date: 28 Sep 2009 23:26 Title: Chapter 16
First of all, it's always fun to see Riker taken down a peg when he gets on his holier-than-thou high horse, so go Pava!
Secondly, in regards to the Alshain plans, oh crap!
Lastly, I loved the brief interlude between Pava and Guinan. A lot of information conveyed in a small amount of space. Awesome stuff there.
Author's Response:
I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Thanks for commenting.
Date: 28 Sep 2009 23:03 Title: Chapter 15
Mmm. I hope Ramierez doesn't come to have reason to regret not putting Shanthi in Sickbay and getting him counseled. He's not in a good state. People feeling like that can be extraordinarily volatile.
Also, although I understand Sandhurst's reaction to what Pava did, I don't completely agree with it. It's one of those areas where I find myself with a more Cardassian mindset.
Excellent chapter. I had completely forgotten that Guinan was also El Aurian. Interesting reminder.
Author's Response:
Indeed, though this was a case of Pava doing what was necessary at the time, Sandhurst is viewing the action through the prism of a person who was recently tortured and emotionally scarred by the experience.
Date: 28 Sep 2009 22:47 Title: Chapter 14
You weren't kidding when you said Pagh Wraith with a twist. Pagh Wraith with a messianic complex, scary beyond words.
Sandhurst once more proves why he so richly deserves his command, if not a bigger, better ship. Excellently played on his part, and excellent writing on yours.
Author's Response:
Many thanks! Sandhurst can indeed be a force to be reckoned with when his creative juices are flowing. And yes, this pah-wraith is unlike any we've seen previously, which bodes dark tidings for Bajor and its people.
Date: 28 Sep 2009 22:27 Title: Chapter 13
The atrocities continue to mount in this ever escalating skirmish with Starfleet on the verge of open warfare. It seems to be a situation of damned if you do, damned if you don't. I was worried R'Voss would be too tempted to take action in that situation. It's a shame he continues to ignore the excellent counsel he is getting from the Klingon. It's going to bite him, I'm sure.
I confess I had a snicker at poor Lightner's expense, too.
Author's Response:
Good thing the kid's got a thick head! ;)
Date: 22 Sep 2009 04:48 Title: Chapter 12
Again, such a multi-layered chapter, and yet no confusion. You handle multiple levels of action with clarity and precision. This must truly be a bitter pill for a man like Picard to swallow. Of course, I can't wait to see how the Bajorans and Pell will interact.
Author's Response:
Thank you :blush: I'd worried that the chapter was too busy, and I worked to try and keep the various plot threads clear and distinct... I'm glad it came across as intended.
Picard went into this situation hoping to make peace, but now he's faced with the possibility of having ignited a war. A bitter pill indeed for a man with the heart of an explorer and the soul of a diplomat.
Date: 22 Sep 2009 04:28 Title: Chapter 11
Crimson eyes? :-O Are these people in the grips of a Pagh Wraith? That would explain a lot...
Wow!
Author's Response:
Yes indeed... but there's a catch!