[Report This]Date: 08 Jun 2020 17:53 Title: Welcome Aboard
It almost reads as much like an episode aboard the Orville as a Star Trek fan fic... Which is fine - the writing for that series has a light-hearted touch that gets lost in the all too perfect Star Trek world.
Nice scene length and I appreciated the detail about the captain going gray (happens to beards first - the gray didn't show up at my temples until I turned 50.)
I would have liked a few more visual details - I know what an Andorian is, but I like knowing that they're doing with their antennae... And you had the opportunity to give us a few yummy smells with breakfast - smells really make a story pop.
But good fun writing and a good grounding in human nature.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review.
I wasn't intentionally trying to get an Orville vibe, but glad you liked it. I just wrote the scenes until I felt like they were a good length, and then moved on to the next one. Yes there are some details missing, and I'm the first one to admit that this story may not be perfect I do think it's a decent introduction to some of the characters that will be featured.