[Report This]Date: 25 Jun 2020 23:46 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 7
A bad cough is always a bad sign in the Trek universe... Jon Owens is on the clock.
I recall coming through this part of the story the first time, this was about where I started to feel oriented into the story.
Good chapter length and focus.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Yeah, not just in Trek. A cough is the universal sign in fiction that somebody's in trouble. It's an obvious cliche, I know, but hopefully there are enough unexpected twists in this story to make up for it.
[Report This]Date: 25 Jun 2020 23:37 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 6
And here's Garla - tough, resourceful, and completley out of her depth...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: But hopefully she's a fun antagonist to have around. I like how she straddles the line between villain and savior throughout this story.
Date: 25 Jun 2020 23:36 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 6
Spellchecker chews: I think you meant "Does Laas know?"
Pp beginning "By suggesting that you surrender..." I think you meant "disbelief"
Feel free to delete this review. Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 25 Jun 2020 23:20 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 5
Edison is a bit of an Edsel.. But I can see his point. He's still very much an old-fashioned heart-on-sleeve type. Which is less trecherous than if he were to conceal his hostility.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Edison has quite a few issues, as becomes more apparent throughout this part of the story.
[Report This]Date: 25 Jun 2020 20:02 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 4
Nice snipe hunt.. I liked Tazla working to make inroads with Deen. The first job of the XO - get to know the crew and keep an open line of communication.
I also appreciated the descriptions of the ship.
Once I catch back up with this story I'll work my way back to the beginning - and hopefully find out why Eagle is chronically understaffed.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Thanks. One of the reasons that make this interesting is that Deen and Star have never been particularly close in this series, partly because Deen is very close to the captain, his personal friend and confidant, while Star, even though the first officer, has played a secondary role. This dynamic is changing a bit in Quantum Divergence. There is no big secret regarding Eagle being understaffed. It's a consequence of the war, during which Eagle has seen, not so much casualties, but a lot of her crew being reassigned to meet fleet-wide personnel shortages.
[Report This]Date: 24 Jun 2020 17:31 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 3
A classic sliders/trek/stargate alternate timeline relationship - and none the worse for wear.
And always a good call to show up to a meeting with a bartender. Be ready for everything.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Yeah, I'm surprised not more away teams include the kitchen staff. I guess Voyager had it right.
[Report This]Date: 24 Jun 2020 17:24 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 2
I'm re-reading this material and seeing things link up better now that I've been through the first book.
I remember thinking, when Michael's dad, freshy returned from the dead, insisted on joining the away team - "What could go wrong?"
Thanks!! rbs
Date: 24 Jun 2020 16:45 Title: Prologue - Catch Me If You Can
A few spellchecker chews I noticed:
The paragraph beginning "She stared at the missing.." I think you meant "disbelief."
The paragraph beginning "He had a few steps..." I think you meant "bead" instead of "beat."
The paragraph beginning "Susan reached into her ear.." I think you meant "dug" instead of "plugged" or maybe "unplugged."
Feel free to delete this review. Thanks! rbs
[Report This]Date: 24 Jun 2020 16:41 Title: Prologue - Catch Me If You Can
This is a great James Bond jump start. Several clever turns of phrase I appreciated - pretty much all of the descriptions of Klingon Opera, and Susan being squashed through a wringer.
Great visuals throughout - very cinematic - particularly the hoverbike chase.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, I wanted to start this one off with a bit of a bang. The main inspiration for the opening chase is the beginning of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
[Report This]Date: 06 Jun 2020 17:34 Title: Interlude: The Looking Glass
Nice and very timely flashback into the shadowy depths of Star Fleet Intelligence... and a reveal of trying to put together a multi-universe task force against our evil creepy clicky friends.
Interesting since I am reading this story at both ends, this story seems to predate the beginning of the story.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: I'm not going to be a stickler and point out that technically SAI is not Starfleet Intelligence. Although, I guess I just did. In truth, their methods are likely so similar, it would be difficult for an outside observer to distinguish the two. You are absolutely correct about this interlude predating the story, although it does function as a follow-up to Book II's prelude which you may not have had a chance to check out yet.
[Report This]Date: 01 Jun 2020 02:33 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 34
Okay - I love the creepy clicking subspace aliens and even more that it appears there's something they're afraid of. I was also quite amuzed that they appear to be more than a little thick...
I figured that alt-Amaya was done for if her ship and she remained in some galaxy and The Eagle went somewhere else - which would leave her floating in space without an EVA suit... not comfy.
Also quite enjoying the description of the perception of subspace causing the aliens to stand out from the walls with an Escher-like disregard for gravity.
Fun last sentence/cliffhanger.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I really wanted to do away with the super smart, super wise aliens here for a change since we've seen a whole lot of those in Trek and elsewhere, so decided to go into a different direction. Obviously there is more to these aliens yet to be discovered. I'm glad you enjoyed the visual of the chapter. I wanted to make things really weird and disorientating, if not for the reader, at the very least for the characters having to go through it.
[Report This]Date: 25 May 2020 13:40 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 33
Nice tightly focused scene that was able to explain a lot of the story line through dialogue (always more interesting for back story and personal reactions than narrative). I like - and any reader should identify with Owens giving visual cues to a voice on a speaker.
Good continued character development on two different Amayas.. A neat trick considering only one of them was present.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. This is the proverbial quiet before the storm.
[Report This]Date: 18 May 2020 21:05 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 32
I like Captain Donners!
Lif seems an insightful character and I'm enjoying the wrestling of motivations among the characters.
The interuniversal communicator reminds me of Clark's 3rd Law and the storyline seems to have a bit of Sliders in it.
Definitely on my Favorites list - Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Hey thanks, I'm glad you are enjoying this story. I'm not sure if Sliders was a conscious influence but I have to admit that I liked that show back in the day and that there are some obvious parallels to Quantum Divergence.
[Report This]Date: 10 May 2020 22:28 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 31
Good description of space battle - which is particularly difficult to write. By keepign a tight focal point you made the battle easy to picture.
I particularly like the more bite-sized length of this last chapter. Much easier to keep track of when the scroll isn't too long.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Yeah, I try to keep chapters manageable to maintain a good pace through the narrative but from time to time you come across a big event that just requires a few more words to do it justice properly.
Date: 10 May 2020 04:16 Title: Prologue - Catch Me If You Can
I see that you managed to tag this story "Expanded Universe"
Star Trek Hunter is also Expanded Universe, but I can't get that option to show up. Did you do something special to get it to pop up and become available?
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Nope. Never had a problem with it. I just click Expanded Universe and then select the add option ">". If you're still struggling with that, try to contact support. There's a link to it in the forum, I think.
[Report This]Date: 02 May 2020 20:19 Title: Part 1 - Splintered: 29
Aternate universe action sequences are notoriously hard to write just keeping track of which version of which character ended up where... Which is also the fun of these sequences. Nicely handled.
It looks like your spell-checker bit you in the first paragraph. I suspect you intended to write "...it was a far cry..." instead of "...it was a fry cry..."
Nice to see this forum coming back to life - it's been dead for awhile.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Thanks for the review and good spot. I went and fixed that.