Date: 24 Jul 2013 06:42 Title: 'Boarding Party'
Man, you set us up and knock us down, what with making two instantly likable guys and then brutally slaughtering them. I mean, as writing goes it happens to be a masterful stroke -- rarely do we get to know and like, even briefly, Dead Redshirts Walking.
So you take the trope and turn it on its ear and get us to like them and then with almost casual brutality, you kill them off. The more I read this story over again, the more it seems like a delightful flame mail to canon Trek producers. Or perhaps a giant middle finger. Either way it remains wonderfully subversive stuff.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 06:23 Title: 'A Commanding Presence'
Oh and so begins the meat and potatoes of the plot. I adore the interplay between Judy and Molly. You don't know their dispositions until you do. Harris, on the other hand, is currently giving me a skeevy vibe. I guess because the obvious answer to the mole should be Sebastian, but I totally get the vibe that it's the sexpot yeoman here.
I loved the walk through on the atmosphere and the systems of the bridge, too. That being said, if ever there was an argument for NOT having a transporter on the bridge, there it is.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 05:58 Title: 'A VIP Event'
Aw! Check out McGregor being all human. The Event intrigues me thoroughly. Obviously. Sebastian brings out his asshole here quite well and coldly. You string us, your loving readers, along like it's an opera or a seriel. Which is to say that you're quite good at building intrigue.
There are a bunch of things I love about this bit. Eddie stiffing down food, then back to work. And tugging everyone else out piece by piece. Stan and his hinted bits of backstory.
And there with Monroe just aboard, too. Excellent.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 05:31 Title: 'An Admiring Admiral'
Feisty and angsty both, is Sebastian. He still comes off as someone I can feel for. I mean, when you think about how the formative years can influence a person, it is not really hard to see how he could have ended up in so much trouble. I could but shall not draw parallels. Even so, the psychology is well handled. Even for as much as he screwed up, even for the fact that there comes a time when he has to take adult responsibility, it is still preyty neat to trace the lines of it.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 05:11 Title: 'A Message Home'
Aw, Noah. Trying to find the bright side. You convey well the disappointment and the homesickness. It really can't be easy going off like that, and so many authors treat it like these people are somehow born to space and never miss the ground. So, nice job there. The fact he has history that he thinks he has to live up to makes it even worse.
As for McGregor putting it on or really being unprofessional, I believe that the answer can be only: Both.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 04:46 Title: 'Bedding In'
Sebastian has such a chip on his shoulder. For the life of me I cannot remember why. But the highlight of the chapter, to me, is -- are we surprised? -- McGregor. I love his flirting with Jex. And even though I shouldn't find it funny, I love what he pulled on the counselor. And finally, I love the trailing bits of characterization that may or may not lead somewhere but certainly get one chewing on his personality.
Someday I will have to pry a detailed backstory out of you.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 04:26 Title: Hanging About
Ha! I have no trouble seeing McGregor waking up next to a guy more than once in his life if it got him intel he wanted or if he was just blind stinking drunk and horny enough, even if that is not his preferred flavor.
I still think this whole tale could use a proof and edit. Sometime I will have to volunteer my services for such. Even so, there's plenty of meat on the metaphorical bone. McGregor manages to give both the reader and his fledglings a good view of the goodies on the hangar deck, but also a look at the back end of the politics in the bright and shiny Federation. Which is, of course, a newsletter I subscribe to myself.
But man, does he give a tour. Nothing like spacewalking with a man who threatens to airlock those who displease him.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 03:55 Title: 'Problems in Engineering'
Wait indeed. Yes, the ship is definitely something emotional. Lord, McGregor. I love Eddie's views -- still think he and Scotty would get on -- because I am at least reasonably sure that Geordi LaForge would be a whiny little snot about it all.
You get the firm impression that engineers in that century spend way too much of their time trying to pretend to be clever. Not so with Eddie. No need to pretend there. I hope Berkley gets a break, but I highly doubt it. Becca is awesome.
Date: 24 Jul 2013 03:40 Title: 'Welcome Aboard, My Young Kestrels'
McGregor's speech delights the crap out of me. It is grandious and a little goofball, but also decidedly badass. I still love Stanley. I adore the image of McGregor sprawled like that in his chair, too. It seems that is his own vantage to swoop some.
Knowing the man some better now, I wonder too if the object representation of the safest place in the universe for him. Because between the RR and the various freewrites, all that badass of his is real, but so to is the man quite human and capable of all the emotional hang ups the rest of us are. It makes me wonder if the Kestrel's center chair is where he feels the most right and capable of changing the universe as he can.
I also love the end with Molly and Gardner muttering what any engineer would have to working with McGregor.
Date: 23 Jul 2013 23:57 Title: 'But It's a Miranda Class!'
It's fun noting all the little details. Like Jex, and whether it's Leoini or Jex, and Noah's so utterly understandable confusion at the same. He's described so well here -- average, soft-featured. And man, that's kind of like throwing a piece of bait in front of a bunch of sharks, when it comes to the Kestrel, doesn't it?
I love the initial outside look at the ship. I always picture her in my minds eye as looking weathered, despite all refitting, but badass. I sure wouldn't turn my nose up to serve aboard her, but then again, I do want to live so I might still turn down that assignment. ::grins a bit:: Even so, a lovely bit of writing. Two more players added to the slot.
As an additional note, I like how you convey the busy feeling of the universe. People moving, transferring, doing, acting, all one big chaotic or not pattern of living interactions and living ships. You feel the size of Noah and Leoini here really well; two more little bodies in an ever moving universe.
Date: 23 Jul 2013 23:27 Title: 'He's an Hawsehole!'
Having read this all a few times now, I shall do so again. With pleasure. It's really fun going through it after you know the characters better. I love how Molly closes ranks around McGregor. No bull, just exasperated loyalty and blunt honesty. Georgetown is hilarious as he tries to parse out the fascinating dynamic there, and then you have his call to Faraday, which is just brilliant.
You learn so much about their various personalities here, nice and neat, and it's a great intro. And then that bit of menace there at the end. I really hate T'Hos. Which I am sure I'm supposed to, but now I really really do.
Date: 21 Jul 2013 00:01 Title: 'But It's a Miranda Class!'
I can see why Noah is a bit confused by Jex - who is he talking to, again? That has got to be confusing, and I am not so sure that I had seen that confusion before, either in canon or fan fiction. But it makes utter and complete sense.
This was also a terrific way to get in some badly-needed exposition. The reader gets more than a little bit of the descriptions of the Kestrel, but without just doing some massive data dump. The description of it as the Ford pick up of starships was rather apropos. With less than five words, you get across not only the look and feel and purpose of this kind of a ship, but also how Noah himself thinks about it. He does seem to be a bit dismissive, but at least he feels himself swell with pride a bit (or maybe it's just nerves at the new assignment) when he finally sees the thing.
The elliptical descriptions of McGregor are great, too. The reader does not need to get all of the gory details at once, and it works better to not be doing a data dump here, either. The reader, instead, gets what is almost like a few snatches of conversation. None of them are positive, and the reader begins to form an impression. This is a great way to lead the reader down the primrose path, and make them believe one thing, all while you tell a story that might be leading to a rather different belief.
Well-written.
Date: 20 Jul 2013 21:07 Title: 'He's an Hawsehole!'
Nice opening to the story, get you family with the key players and McGregor.
As always good prose and very easy to read story.
Plus the crooks at the end sets up a nice cliff-hanger.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 23:11 Title: 'He's an Hawsehole!'
Uh oh.
Well, being a pain in the ass can do that - get you into situations that spiral far out of your control.
I've only read a little bit on your McGregor character but the idea of a not so likable character as the lead is interesting and very much a kind of thinking out of the box. After all, there is no reason whatsoever to assume that personality conflicts will all go away the minute that the Vulcans land in Bozeman.
So - we have Cartwright, who's tasked with keeping McGregor palatable. But she doesn't, although I get the feeling she may have done it for a while and then gotten tired of running interference. We've got the as yet unseen McGregor, who reputation precedes him. We've got a high-level official who wants McG drummed out of the service, a technician who was humiliated, a hired killer and another guy (is Vardros the unlucky technician, perchance?). Oh, and a diplomatic type running a repair service who is of course hearing complaints from his own people.
It's a lot like a Star Trek version of the kinds of conflicts that, in a corporation, can often spring up between the IT development side and the more touchy-feely BA-type business side of things. I worked as a liaision between these two groups for years, and the liaision role can really stink, as you hear it from everyone (hence I suppose I'm Cartwright in this scenario).
I've got you on my - read more later - list as I'm trying to get through at least one chapter of all of the special review stories. I will be back.
Author's Response:
Ha! Thank you jespah. And please do come back whenever it suits you. Yes, McGregor is a character who is not entirely likeable. If you keep reading and track in the same manner as most readers you will begin to find him a hoot and eccentric and then outright atrocious, mean and rotten and then it depends you might begin to see-saw regards him. I'd love if you did keep reading as it would mean I could see just what reaction you have to him! LOL!
And yes, Molly is the much harassed liasion who has to try and smooth over McGregor's crap and yes she proably now has had her fill of it. And absolutely, I firmly don't believe that once the Vulcans arrived humans got over themselves and their traits. I raher imagine that with the influx of new people and species things as we saw in ENT only got more delicate and complicated re: interpersonnal relations.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 19:58 Title: Executive Decisions
Oh, Molly. This extended scene with her in her office, remembering fondly the desk and hashing things out with Noah is particularly nice. I enjoyed seeing her get an extended look and her conversation with Noah was at once revealing and a bit sad, on both ends. I had been convinced that Noah was finally coming to accept his posting to the ship. The way he performed under pressure, the compliments he got from the captain, the way the rest of the crew seems to be taking to him … I thought he was finally beginning to understand. I mean, Judith gave him a very moving story to hammer home the point that the Border Dogs may do things differently and may be seen as the poor cousins of Starfleet, but they’re the type who gets things done. They’re heroes but just not to all the Federation, just those frontier worlds.
But it seems Noah is deadset on being part of the main fleet and getting out of the Border Dogs. His opinions were frank and honest, but were saddening. Molly’s thoughts on that matter also made me feel bad for her. Here she is, trying to make up for a past sin, and unfortunately Noah doesn’t want the kindness. She called in a lot of favors to get him there but in doing so stuck him in a place he didn’t want to be … her act ultimately for naught it seems.
McGregor’s plan to blow up Thads ship, fake his death, and then hopefully find his kin in the classic McGregor boldness that we’ve come to expect. But Molly has her doubts and I do as well … it’s not like T’Hos is gonna play nice once Thad is dead. The guy is the type not to do that.
And so we have reached the last chapter, MF. There is no more after this, which is criminal sir, you must write more! I need to know what happens here. Who’s the mole? Are they brainwashed? Will Jex get together with anyone? Is McGregor certifiably insane or merely crazed? Is Stan’s vision of death, destruction, suffering, and pain going to come to pass? Will the Kestrel crew be able to trust one another again? Will T’Hos find them before McGregor finds him?
The questions left here leave me wanting for more, and I desperately want you to deliver. Summer’s here, MF, this is your time to shine!
I look forward to more, whenever it comes. This was a very enjoyable experience.
Ch. 33 still is the best of the bunch though. Just … damn.
That is all.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 19:37 Title: A.A.R.
Ah, so we have Jex and Sebastian enjoying a nice friendly conversation where it seems Sebastian has got some eyes for Jex. Oh my! You’re giving me so many shipping options so late in the game, MF, I can’t tell who to send where. I may just opt for the whole “Kestrel crew has massive orgy” solution but I think Sebastian’s tough guy exterior is finally cracking away thanks to McGregor having a talk with him before and the high of the SARAH. But Jex, ah, she’s a doll and it seems she’s gonna have plenty of suitors when it’s all said and done (Noah, better get there and fast, you have the inside track but not for long).
Then we have Dashiel (not Daniel) Cain and his apparent feeling for T’Vel. I agree with Chomsky, he’s in some dangerous waters here and needs to be careful about what he’s doing. T’Vel isn’t exactly in a great condition for a relationship and the two’s friendship bespeaks of more than friends stuff. I can’t tell for sure if T’Vel reciprocates, but odds are with the few people standing by her left, she may reach out to him.
Contessa shows up and delivers the big bit of news here, which is simply to say that the bomb was planted and Gunny was gunned down by a traitor. And that traitor could be Dexter (my pick) and with the brainwashing thread now in play, Dexter could very well be doing this without really knowing. Seeing as how his behavior has been a bit off lately, though not skewed as to arouse too much suspicion, the dude is my bet for the mole still.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 19:19 Title: After Care
Oh boy, so now we have it all out there. First off, I was glad to see Keren alive here. I had thought he was a goner, but now I can reassemble my bandwagon! Keren/Jex FTW! The sickbay scene was a bit tense but that’s to be expected after such a mission. Judith wanting to protect T’Vel’s privacy is one thing but Molly is right, after what Jex put up with she has every right to know about T’Vel’s condition. The katra thing is creepy and nasty, as usual, but Jex gets it. The fact that she kinda scolds Molly (which is a nice touch there, having Molly the lecturer get lectured) abut sticking by T’Vel even in the worst of times (it was the best of times, it was the worst of times … more TWOK references?) was well done.
Dexter, blackeye and all, is done with McGregor and is gonna see himself out after this tour. Can’t blame him either as McGregor’s lack of trust with his officers is a bad recipe. He’s fed up and he knows someone planted that bomb aboard ship … so we’ll see who it is. McGregor has the same suspicions and suspects Dexter himself I think, which is the wise move. Dexter is the guy I’m fingering for being the mole for sure now … he wants to cut tail and run, now, to Starfleet after this tour? Hmm. Mighty interesting timing this thought, Dexter.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 18:58 Title: Dissenting Voices
Wow, that was an action packed chapter and damn it all, I’m nearing the end of this journey. But I’ll put aside that for a moment and continue to concentrate on Dexter, who seems more and more like the mole to me. He’s blaming T’Vel for everything: the bomb, being the mole, and he’s taking bold, big steps to make that point. He’s confronting McGregor about it and the captain finally tells us a bit about The Event and we see McGregor guilty about what happened to her. He blames himself, a trait common in captains, for what happened to her and he’s indirectly responsible, sure, but he’s not at fault in the way he seems to think.
But Dexter is unsympathetic to McGregor’s story and he seems to me to be the guy. He fits the profile, he made T’Vel turn into T’Kas with the hypo injection … his actions look mighty suspicious to me. The tense showdown on the shuttle was well paced and Molly showing up was nice, but she didn’t take decisive action. She should have shot first and ended it then, but she hesitated and T’Kas made her pay for it. Jex did her best to help out with her own battle against the voices which I really liked, it was a nice parallel between the two, but T’Kas was having none of it. No, it finally took McGregor and a trigger happy Dexter (who delivers a rather mean one liner at the end) to down her.
But T’Vel’s actions are gonna have long term ramifications for the crew I feel.
Sadly, we mourn the loss of Keren who seems pretty much dead (referred to as “the body of Keren” in text, he looks to be gone) and I must disassemble another bandwagon. Damn, MF, you are killing me and my shipping tendencies.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 18:27 Title: Into The Dark
And so, we find T’Vel and how she became the mental mess that she is today. A sad, sad affair, and one that was described in chilling detail. Whatever thing they encountered in the Wash, whatever anomaly they met there, it reminded me very much of the ENT episode where T’Pol was onboard she ship of crazed, insane Vulcans (creepy as hell, that episode). This looks to me to be a nice nod to that episode with the addition of Hulix (who is the same species as Phlox), but very much like that episode it just doesn’t work out well for most people. Hulix got ended pretty brutally and then T’Vel was on the run.
She had to run. She had to go. And I was hoping that she would be able to find a little respite, but she didn’t … no, she was destined for this horror to be visited upon her. My favorite part of the chapter, at least from a writing point, was the way you described her falling and getting messed up down that stairwell. The way you spared no detail in her leg getting caught up and wrecked was goosebump inducing. I found that the most disturbing thing of the chapter.
Finally, the crazed part of T’Vel that resides in her gets a name: T’Kas, and the fact she was a Vulcan priestess at one point and has had her katra passed on in this manner is a master stroke. Was T’Kas always this violent or did the years of having her katra passed on make her mad? This is a nice thread that I kinda want to steal from you, lol.
Well done.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 18:11 Title: 'Diffusing the Situation'
Oh man. Well, the chapter started out in nice fashion, with Jex being rarely self-satisfied and a bit turned on by Keren. After the adrenaline rush of the flight over and the way Keren seems to have taken to her, the two seem to have chemistry and a mutual interest in finding out what, if anything lies there. I’m disassembling the McGregor/Jex bandwagon and moving on to Keren/Jex. Sorry, McGregor, you wasted my shipping effort. Damn you, sir!
Moving on from that, we see the situation escalate in a big way in engineering and with T’Vel. Dexter’s inoculation, though innocent looking, looks damning to me. The bomb is T’Hos way of tying up loose ends, even Dexter (or whomever the mole is) had no idea about it and now, with it aboard and easy to trigger with any motion, the crew is pretty much betting on a crazy assed plan from McGregor (fry all the systems … Again).
T’Vel has well and truly gone to her super dark evil personality, who’s name escapes me but is utterly chilling from what I remember of the first RR. She’s not a nice person and operates with a cold, brutal logic that could Jex in big trouble. I’m hoping Keren is alive (which is why I’m gonna run the bandwagon until it’s stated in text that he’s dead, Jim) but with T’Vel in crazy mode … Jex is at risk. I really, really hope she ends up okay because I like Jex.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 17:55 Title: Bodily Complications
Wow, that was a shocking and tense chapter. I expected the slaves, but I didn’t expect them to be in such horrible shape. When Judith got there and smelled that rancid smell I thought Thad really had crapped himself but, no, he had been keeping people beat up and locked up for weeks. What a mess this has all become. Everyone was affected by this and the reactions to it all were proper, in my view. Once the slaves got transported off, everyone had to deal with the fallout. All of it exploded in arguments and poor Harris, she was just there to witness it all: she had to be the most shell shocked of all.
The argument between the senior staff was well done but Dexter’s actions are leading me to believe he’s the mole. The way he insists on knowing everything, the way he forced the inoculation on T’Vel (which I think is going to send her over the dark edge into some crazy lady stuff) and the Gunny went down … he seems to be the mole to me.
McGregor’s explosion on his staff was a welcome break in his “mad captain” routine as Molly put it and now, with him really serious about the reality of all this, knowing how deep it is, he’s finally gotten it through his head that he can’t hunt down T’Hos for just vengeance alone. He has to do it to help the innocents the man hurt, the innocents that were hurt in that hold crammed with 30 people. McGregor lost sight of that in his quest for payback and his little speech to the senior staff applies just as much to him as it does to them. I think he’s realized this now as he’s going to go and put an end to this particularly cruel situation T’Hos is participating in.
Let’s just hope he can do before the bomb goes off.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 17:33 Title: 'Hook, Line and Sinker'
Hmm. I wonder what happened in engineering with team two? It seems like all the excitement wasn’t just confined to team one there. I hope to hear from Dexter and see why he was so breathless. McGregor’s revelation that the information he used to track down Thaddeus was exclusively Paul (with some help from his contacts of course) was a relief. I was thinking Paul was gonna screw them all over again but it seems that the guy was being honest with Molly. But the real interesting thing here is that McGregor seems to think the mole is on the senior staff … he didn’t want to reveal the information or the plan to them in all the glorious detail, so now I’m looking at the staff and wondering who’s the mole.
Back on the ship, Thaddeus is crapping his pants at McGregor’s possible wrath, as well he should considering that he’s working with the guy who tried to kill him, his crew, and his ship. I’m wondering what he’s transporting … it seems to be slaves or something along those lines, not his usual MO as we know, but why is T’Hos using him to transport slaves … other than the fact that Thaddeus wasn’t really supposed to get a second look from McGregor and co. Hmm. Questions, Questions.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 17:22 Title: 'The Devil's in the Details'
Whew, and the plan was put into action. What a plan! McGregor wasn’t doing any of the usual stuff, as detailed in Chomsky’s briefing (which was well detailed and very informative. I loved the statmat idea, a smart thing that proper Starfleet should use at some point) but rather to use nature against Thaddeus. A subspace sandbar? HA! Brilliant stuff.
Further, seeing Noah work Ops so well and McGregor actually compliment the guy was as surprising to me as it was to Noah. I could scarcely believe Noah didn’t fall out of his chair and pass out in joyful glee on the deck. He managed to hold it together though, and he did his job well.
The breach onto the ship was well described and kinda tense. I was expecting some major trouble, with the abandoned corridors and such but, no, thankfully it was pretty SOP in there. Sebastian got some nice one liners here, Jex did a great job being atop her game, and T’Vel delivered a perfect line to end the chapter. No, Thaddeus, you don’t get the chance to surrender. The ship is the Kestrel’s and you, well you are too … now the question is what exactly does McGregor plan to do with him and the ship?
Date: 01 Jun 2013 16:55 Title: 'Cogs in the Machine'
And … here … we … go! So, we have the team assembling and the last of the gear checked. Jex seems to have settled down and Sebastian makes a welcome appearance here, bringing some serious gravitas (and a bit of cockiness) to the proceedings. We have T’Vel suiting up and still looking super-Vulcan, but gracious she has a friend who loans her books? Daniel seems to be VERY interested in her despite her many issues and I find myself preparing a bandwagon for them. Jex/McGregor has been cool for many chapters and the people look for a new pair to ship. Depending on what happens to Daniel here, I may be shipping them.
But I have my own theories on what may, or may not happen here … so I’m hoping he survives. Because if he doesn’t everything else could be completely messed up.
Anyway, moving onto the McGregor securing the Den scene. Oh, that was fun and I loved the forcefield bit around the bust of the Kestrel. A nice touch and an amusing one at that. Seeing McGregor take this (mostly) seriously was nice. Cutler showing up and being nervous as usual is expected but having Molly there to soothe him and provide some veteran advice was good. I’m glad she sees he needs the help and I’m glad he’s not too prideful enough to accept it. Now, the real fun starts … we’ll see what goes down.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 16:35 Title: Past Lives - Bad Memories
Oh, Jex. She’s nervous and I don’t blame her in the least. Hell, she’s really nervous because she’s not even attempting to be her positive self as she has been up to this point. Her concerns are real and are there … she’ll betting on skills her current host has never used before and gracious, if that’s not one thing atop plenty of others. Her memories about her grandfather were sweet and made me smile. I like to seeing backstory fleshed out, especially in such tough times, and here those memories seem to comfort her a bit.
At least until Rah shows up and completely sends her off kilter again. The two have a tense, layered conversation here, both dancing around what obviously really happened but neither quite having the need or desire to say it. Jex is disturbed by him but she manages to hold her own in a verbal sparring match pretty well (a bit surprising, but she’s had other moments throughout this story) and gets to the point where she can deal with it. For now.
Her thoughts on past hosts were also excellently done. I like the way those little habits show through from other hosts, more so then the past hosts voices. It’s like a commentary on life … it’s about the little things, as much with Humans as with Trill.
Rah and his thoughts on Jex, and past memories, are brief but very Rah: he’s a practical sort and knows what he is, what he does well, and doesn’t pretend to be more than that. A man/cat thing of few words, Rah is looking forward to this mission I think.
It’s always fun to unsheathe your claws.