Date: 30 May 2014 01:03 Title: The Reaper and the Red Menace
I like very much that this is written as a news article. The requirements of a journalistic piece are different from those of a short story.
It also works quite well to give the ship and her Captain both a nickname. I like that the Captain is known as "the reaper" and makes members of organized crime syndicates quell at the mention of her or her ship, aka "The red menace".
This almost has an "untouchables" feel to it, which makes it all the more enjoyable. But, unfortunately, organized crime still exists, though they took down perhaps the largest of the syndicates, as evidenced by the fact that those criminals who remained, raised the bounty on Scanlon and her ship from four million to six million credits.
This was a fantastic read, and very enjoyable. Well Done!
Date: 05 Sep 2013 09:04 Title: The Reaper and the Red Menace
Very well written article. It did have a very newsie feel to it, which made reading it somewhat difficult because I'm not a huge fan of the news...but then, for a fiction writer, to try and write something that is supposed to be a very factual-based piece, and try to keep the more descriptive wording and fluff out of it, must have been difficult as well, so REALLY well done. The Currituck looks like fun; especially liked the comment about the ship possibly intentionally making their shields flare red just to keep up the nickname and reputation. I wonder though, given their very...liberal approach with pirates...if they're either outside of normal Starfleet, or if they ride the line separating "following orders" and "going rogue." Could be a very interesting series to read up on if there's more (just hit this thanks to the random button). Really good story though, very much deserving of the win.
Author's Response: I went with the thought that Currituck is constantly at the edge of things, like an admiral says "we got pirates, go get 'em", and people can't argue with the methods because she does such a good job. This was a one-off for the main universe I write in, so there isn't much else to it. Maybe I'll expand on it some day. :)
Date: 02 Jun 2013 03:36 Title: Stand And Wait
You have captured rather well the feeling that people sometimes get when a mentor or a teacher or a parent believes in them, but they themselves are oh so unsure. It can be scary to step out into that wide world, or the wider one, as the case may be, and become a part of something so much larger than yourself. I'm looking forward to reading more and filling in the gaps, but it looks like Sydney's time on the Pennsy was good for her.
Date: 01 Jun 2013 03:34 Title: Stand And Wait
Wow! Not sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn't this. This blew me away, so lovely and touching was it. It packed quite a punch for such a small piece. I think, because all of us have been there at some point in our lives - a teacher, a professor, a mentor, a superior, etc., who expected more from us than we thought we were capable of giving, but in living up to that expectation we found something within ourselves that we didn't know was there. Kudos to Sutek for seeing it in Sydney and having the patience and determination to nurture it, bring it forth and help it to blossom. And this is so true to life - it is often these people we didn't like very much at the time that we look back on later in life and thank for believing so strongly in us; for helping to shape the person we became.
And you, my dear, have recruited a fan. I'll definitely be checking in on these two again. :D
Date: 31 May 2013 22:21 Title: Into The Inferno
Well ... I think her objections are overstated by her.
It can be very easy to go into a difficult situation and be terrified by it, to think that it is some form of error. And to also believe that success is nigh well impossible. But success is very possible here.
If Sydney gets through it, she will have some serious bragging rights. If she wins over Sutek, then she'll be able to win over everyone and anyone. It's one thing to be able to hit a ball off a tee and have it dribble to the pitcher's mound. It's another entirely to hit a fastball from an ace pitcher and have it soar out of a big league park.
You're in the majors, now, kid.
And, to you - Intrepid Sovereign!
This piece made me believe about these people. They feel real and true. The objective is believably overstated by the character, and fills in a nagging hole that I think has been in a lot of Trek, where no one ever seems to actively complain about their assignments, or ever dig in their heels if they're suddenly getting a transfer. After all, despite how wonderful, say, the Enterprise is, a person even being transferred to it might lose friends, stature, routine, a lover or even just familiarity and comfort. It is mighty refreshing to see someone objecting to being traded away like a playing card. Kudos, mucho kudos.
Date: 31 May 2013 21:57 Title: Into The Inferno
Not him - that's all that the reader needs to know.
Intriguing, elliptical and gnawing. Sydney's distress is real, and her objection is loud and anguished. But she's just been bargained away, or at least conceded, almost like a poker chip in a game or haggling at a market. Methinks this is such a foregone conclusion that she could write the book on groveling and it would not matter one whit.
I'm curious about the shared quarters and perhaps this is my own ignorance. In ENT, there are plenty of instances of shared quarters, for Crewmen and for Ensigns. On TOS, I believe the lowest-level quarters we see belong to Yeoman Rand, and she doesn't seem to have a roommate. In TNG, I believe the only Ensign whose quarters we see are Wesley's, but he rightfully lives with his mother because hes's underage. DS9 isn't a ship, and I confess I don't know about VOY.
So, if I am right, then after the ENT era, Ensigns would normally get their own living spaces. Sydney doesn't, and you've already laid out in the first chapter that she's got trauma and other issues. Is her roommate situation designed to accommodate her issues?
Date: 31 May 2013 21:51 Title: Into The Inferno
I do not believe I have read any of your stories before.
This is quite a beginning.
It's exposition-filled, but that's the idea. We only see Sydney briefly, in passing, but of course she is the subject of the meeting and the whole shebang is all about her.
Hints are dropped. There's parental trouble, deaths. A twin. A lack of control. A lousy attitude. But something is ... there. And it's not just piloting skill. After all, it does Starfleet little good to promote pilots to managerial roles - they need to be kept as pilots! So there is depth there, and it's not just a tug of war between these two captains that is defining what's happening.
The framing use of the roses, the tell with the quill - you have a superb eye for detail and setting of a place.
Date: 26 May 2013 07:14 Title: Stand And Wait
Wow, this is a beautiful piece. I love her thoughts about her former Captain and what she's learned from him. This bit cracked me up:
I found out his first name in Vulcan one day. Took me four years to learn how to say it correctly. I was so angry at him one time I threw it in his face, and it was perfect. I thought. He fixed me with those steel gray eyes of his. I thought I was gonna melt through the deck. He simply said "impressive" and dismissed me. And I still got a reprimand the next day.
Author's Response: Glad it gave you a giggle! :)
Date: 05 Sep 2010 00:49 Title: The Captain's Chair
A terrific look into the first few hours of Sydney's command. She's chomping at the bit to get underway, but finds Adirondack marooned in the queue at Starbase Plague.
The unexpected delay gives her time to play head games with herself, and even the introduction of the Vulcan junior engineer under her command serves to remind her she's still living in Sutek's shadow.
You've got just the right touch with your characters, not too heavy, nor too light, but enough to give your readers the essentials while keeping your narrative flowing. Well done! 
Date: 04 Sep 2010 02:08 Title: The Captain's Chair
VERY nice look at Sydney's first day of command. You put her through quite the emotional roller-coaster even with their still being in spacedock and have put out quite a few mysteries I really want to get to the bottom of.
And I love your description of the warp core--I never really liked VOY's set design but here you make it so much more likable just by the way you describe it. :-)
Author's Response: I was actually afraid I put too much in. But there's enough space for her to deal with it...and other mysteries. ;)
Date: 07 Aug 2010 18:28 Title: The Captain's Chair
This works as a great introduction to the stories of Sydney's career as captain. After all, Sutek was a rather important figure in shaping her command abilities, albeit the inherent abilities she had and learned from her family too. It is also another 'interesting' development for Sutek and Sydney dynamic. Yet again, she is singled for special attention from her one time mentor.
Author's Response: Things will get more interesting as we go along. At least, I hope! ;)
Date: 07 Aug 2010 05:48 Title: The Captain's Chair
Sutak must be getting sentimental in his old age. ;-) I realize the more likely case is that he feels a particular sense of accomplishment with Satterwhite, seeing as she served most of her career under his tutelage.
This was a nice little glimpse into the inner workings of one of Starfleet’s finest. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
Date: 07 Aug 2010 01:06 Title: The Captain's Chair
YAAAAAY! We have "Captain's Chair" now!!!
A very auspicious beginning indeed!
Author's Response: Yes, it's been too long in coming! :)
Date: 13 Nov 2009 02:42 Title: Into The Inferno
I LOVE how it turns out not to be a human/Vulcan thing, but the fact that Spillane has quirks that makes her relatable to Sydney. (Or would you say that's just her attempt to find a PC answer? Not sniping, honestly curious.)
One thing I'm curious about--what is it about the Pennsylvania that makes it such a hard ship to pilot? With the kind of precision mechanics and computers they have, I'm just wondering. (Granted, I see it with some of the machines I use at work at times...but I'm curious to know your thoughts.)
Author's Response: The Penn is like a car that constantly gives you trouble, but when you take it to the mechanic, they can't find anything wrong with it. It's like she has a mind of her own, and nothing will get don't unless you do it her way. For twenty years Sutek was the only captain she ever had, so he knew her idiosyncrasies better than anyone. He doesn't have a "romantic" attachment to a ship like Humans often develop, but it's logical to him to take the ship as is than forever looking for and attempting to fix what might be wrong. When the engineers (and the helmsman) take that attitude, the Penn can and will do amazing things.
Date: 13 Nov 2009 02:38 Title: Into The Inferno
I still LOVE this text-messaging exchange. Such things, well-executed, remind me of my favorite Treklit author, Diane Duane. :-)
Date: 13 Nov 2009 02:36 Title: Into The Inferno
Very interesting to see the antagonism between Spillane and Sutek...I just have to wonder something, though. We later do see how Sydney and Sutek turn out, how they relate to each other--but it's hard to understand where Vulcans get any tolerance from when you consider that their standard is logic and humans are inherently illogical because of the role they ascribe to their emotions and their refusal to part with them. (Not to mention that humans are shorter-lived and physically more frail than Vulcans, and unable to utilize telepathy or even shield themselves.)
Ahh...and Gul Berat adds that while Cardassians may have the benefit of a Vulcan-like memory, and their mental-shielding abilities, and yes, may be longer-lived...they still have their emotions, too. And in the little conversation we imagined between Berat and Sutek, there was clearly tolerance. He doesn't argue its existence--just wants to know about its roots in Vulcan culture and Sutek in particular.
Date: 13 Nov 2009 02:26 Title: The Reaper and the Red Menace
Very nice how you follow the formatting of a news article--not only is the formatting in the header right, but you definitely seem to have the inverted-pyramid structure down. That said, though, you definitely have an alien perspective in here, in that the reporter does not seem to believe in impartiality the way that our media once did--they don't even make a pretense of it.
(Judging from the colorful language they use here: "She treats those seeking reward for her death with even more ferocity than the ones she is sent to hunt down. An attacking ship will be sliced to almost literal ribbons above being blown out of the stars outright.")
In some ways that's a good thing...better to be known as partisan than to pretend impartiality and not deliver it, perhaps. ;-)
Anyway, it's really neat to see how the doings of Federation ships affect the worlds they come into contact with, from their perspective!!
Oh...and one other note. The whole "Common Era" thing STILL rubs me the wrong way, though in the TNG political-correctness era, I would unfortunately expect it to continue, as you have it. I think either the entire date system should be ditched if the origin of the current one is too bothersome for some. (And that's why I like the "stardate" system, however nonsensical it is--at least it is honest in its intention.)
Author's Response: Not crazy about the "Common Era" thing myself, but there ya go. :/ *shrugs* I like this piece because we get to see what's happening "out there" beyond what's going on with the main cast. And to get around "there's trouble and Enterprise is the only ship in the sector/quadrant" syndrome. :p
Date: 13 Nov 2009 02:21 Title: A New Page
I definitely liked seeing a bit more ceremony around the promotions and change of command than we usually saw on the show because it comes closer to what I'm familiar with as a military brat...but sometimes I wonder if the lack of ceremony was one of Gene Roddenberry's ways of trying to take the "military" out of Starfleet, post-TOS.
As for Sydney, I have to say, it seems like she's definitely not comfortable with the idea that she was up for the Crown Royale, if she's willing to ascribe something a Vulcan said to the rumor mill. ;) But then, I think that's just one more set of expectations she'd rather not have to deal with right out of the gate!
Author's Response: The Crown Royal is a prestigious command, being a Sovereign class ship. As much as she loves the class, she'd rather fly the CR than command her. A rookie captain assigned to a ship like that would really raise some eyebrows, and she really doesn't want that kind of attention.
Date: 08 Oct 2009 20:52 Title: Captain on the Bridge!
Awesome insights into her first day aboard. The feverent glance at the big chair and the itch to try it out is amusing and warming. As is her desire to sit in the chair at conn. Loved the jealousy line she had about her helm officer.
I also liked the remark about some ships changing because of the captain - none other than Sutek himself being her thought on that one. Speaking of which, we hear his Mom has taken an interest in Sydney too!!! Crikey! Sydney must have made an impression on Sutek! Hope we get to disocver more about their meeting at some point.
Likewise, more to the background concerning Regina! Ha! What lies behind that and how is Sydney going to handle it? Again, you leave us wanting to know more. Great stuff.
Author's Response: That first time T'Lasa met her, it was mostly because she was curious about this Human who was proving to be perplexing to her son. He was successful with the two other Humans he had mentored, what's up with this one? ;)
Date: 08 Oct 2009 20:33 Title: A New Page
An eloquent little speech from Sydney at the end. It is nice how her vision of herself lends to the series title and I see how it all makes sense now. The title puzzled me for a bit because it seemed [especially with the link of the avatar on Ad Astra] that it was an invitation to listen in. Coupled with the style of story telling, an almost internal perspective gives us a fascinating ear to the story you tell and weave.
I wonder what her new crew would/will make of such a speech. It is not exactly stirring words of bravery and heroics but I think Sydnay knows better than that and I dare say Sutek would not approve if he heard on the grapevine about Sydney making such an emotive speech.
The little meeting between captains is very illuminating in the way that it raises some speculative points about the transfer of commands and the delays in the ship's launch. All very intriguing and eyebrow raising. Hee hee.
As well as that, is the speculation about Sydney's own possible career trajectory and whatever Sutek's involvement or view on it was. Certainly, I'd love to know more of thse rumours and what lay behind them.
Add to this, Sydney has a friend in her Science Officer come counsellor. I wonder how that will work out with Sydney now the captain.
Really liked the ensign getting a heap of praise and a promotion to J.G. Lt. That was sweet. Of course, the cynic in me is a little wary of where things will end up for our new lieutenant. Ah! I'm just of a suspicous nature I guess. Good stuff.
Date: 25 Sep 2009 22:48 Title: Into The Inferno
If I didn't already love Spillane, this chapter would clinch it. Not just the manner in which she impressed upon Sydney the need to follow the orders and make the most of the experience but also because of how Sydney describes some of her attributes and ways, summing them up with 'weird'.
..you're...weird...ma'am. If I can deal with that, I can deal with your midnight galley raids and Kirk imitations and polka nights.
Hee hee. Oh I'd love to hear more about that. Of course when Sydney precedes that with the following:
I can deal with weird. I'm weird. I sing to the ship. I sniff around people's quarters for good food and beg for some. I dance when there's no music playing!
I just fall for her too. Great characters.
Date: 25 Sep 2009 22:40 Title: Into The Inferno
So Sutek's reputation precedes him. Alas, for Sydney grovelling is not going to work as Sutek has that base already covered. And still love Spillane > You mess up this kid, I'll come looking for you...
Of course, Sutek responds with a very simple admonition noted. Priceless. Who says Vulcans don't have a sense of humour!
Date: 25 Sep 2009 22:35 Title: Into The Inferno
An intriguing start. Sutek is an impressive figure and his interest in Sydney is not mystifying but certainly to outsiders it strikes as being unusual. But it seems an air of mystery and magic surrounds Sutek's ability to gather the greatest and ablest of individuals. This talent for garnering talent places a certain pressure on future proteges if they should ever discover before the time they are ready. This opening chapter Of Roses and Ensigns paints Sydney to be an intriguing character and being taken under Sutek's wing is certainly heading into the inferno. With a track record to uphold Sutek admits that the challenge presented by Sydney is different to that he's faced before. So it will be interesting to see how this fares for all concerned.
P.S. I really love and dig Spillane. She sounds like a craggy sort and bound to give her crew hell. Love the comment about the Pennsylvania and comparing it to Sutek. Hee hee.
Date: 21 Sep 2009 20:03 Title: A New Page
Looking forward to her travels. Hopefully something not so humdrum and typical.
Author's Response: I'll try! :D
Date: 21 Sep 2009 19:33 Title: A New Page
And Sydney gets her ship. Nicely done. Can't wait to see where she takes Adirondack from here. Great speech, too, brief yet poignant.
Author's Response: Normally, I don't like writing speeches. They come out sounding too hokey! :p