Reviews For Serenity's Dawn
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Reviewer: Cowgirlcadet1701 Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jan 2015 05:32 Title: Chapter 3

Maybe after the tour, they will take Priestess Jovia camping and teach her how to toast "marshmelons". LOL.

Author's Response: Maybe so. That would be funny, wouldn't it? Thanks for reading and for the review.

Reviewer: Enterprise1981 Signed [Report This]
Date: 31 Jul 2014 23:15 Title: Chapter 3

That was fun little tale, borrowing elements from both "The Cage" and "Shore Leave", but without any of the danger and peril. With the Borg almost indiscriminately adding the biological and technological distinctiveness of every race they encounter to their own and the natives of Vagra Two leaving behind a creature like Armus, it's refreshing to see a race that adds all the positive aspects of alien cultures to their own in a more mutually cooperative relationship with their visitors.

Author's Response: Thanks for the read and the kind words, Enterprise. Yes, most of the outlook of early Trek was overall positive, and I like to try to write in keeping with that sometimes.

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Jul 2014 17:22 Title: Chapter 3

That was one mind-blowing journey for the captain. So now I see that these aliens scavenge culture from other worlds. I wonder what Spock and McCoy experienced when they were off by themselves. Judging by what happened to Kirk, they must have experienced something more than quiet conversations. 

I am glad that Kirk is going to take Priestess Jovia camping. Hopefully he will be in control of the situation, or who knows what might happen? Spock might not show up in time with his jet boots. 



Author's Response: I'm thinking Spock's and McCoy's stories will be told...at a later time. And I agree, that might be quite the interesting camping trip. Thank you for reading, and for the review.

Reviewer: Enterprise1981 Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jul 2014 23:08 Title: Chapter 1

What looks like a routine first contact and possible shore leave arrangement is anything but, but in a humorous way. A little awkwardness with Kirk "breaking Uhura's fall" and Spock finding himself ankle deep kittens. And looks like someone got a little careless with the transporter device.

Look forward to seeing what hilarious turns this story takes us.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading, Enterprise, and for taking the time to review. I agree that there is some awkwardness in the beginning, perhaps for both sides. Maybe it will give way into a potentially funny story for later. Here's hoping things get better for the crew.

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jul 2014 21:54 Title: Chapter 2

Raining cats and dogs! Funny! These strange aliens do take things very literally.

Kirk was glad to get moving out of that room with its endless blaring music, and I don't blame him. While Spock and McCoy are otherwise occupied, our captain is having an adventure of his own. This reminds me a little of "Shore Leave", with images being lifted out of the crew's minds. When one is deaing with Kirk's mind, who knows what might happen? I would not be surprised if he finds himself in a romantic interlude, if you know what I mean.

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jul 2014 00:11 Title: Chapter 1

Well, I must say that's an interesting start. Perhaps those "kittens" engulfing Spock are a bit of payback karma for his complacent attitude about winning his little "game" of matching wits with the captain. I couldn't help but think "serves you right". Not that I don't love the Vulcan, but it's always great fun to see him knocked down a peg or two...or three. 

I am wondering what other adventures await our officers among these peculiar aliens. At least they will have a bit of time in which to dust themselves off and regain their composure. 



Author's Response: Thanks for reading MC. Appreciate the review. I started this story two years ago, and am relieved to finally finish it.

Reviewer: CeJay Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 Jul 2014 22:52 Title: Chapter 3

Well that was certainly one wacky trip Kirk was on, and without the help of any mind-altering substances. And yet his report may end up reading as if he was tripping on some serious 'rooms.

That's until he gets to the explanation, which is still a little out there, but may make a certain amount of sense. I definitely can imagine a society that adopts other people's cultures.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and for the kind words, CeJay.Yes, I'm afraid Starfleet is going to think their golden boy has gone around the bend. I'm glad the explanation made some sense.

Reviewer: CeJay Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Jul 2014 14:29 Title: Chapter 2

Okay that was a hilarious last line.

If these people are trying to literally recreate every part of human culture, Purple Rain, and cats and dogs falling from the skies, this mission is going to be a total riot. Maybe even dangerous.

All I'm saying is, good thing they weren't playing 'It's Raining Men."

Author's Response: I agree, it's a very good thing they weren't playing, "It's Raining Men." They could create their own Army with that. The mission could be dangerous. Let's hope not!

Reviewer: CeJay Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Jul 2014 01:24 Title: Chapter 1

The Serpendi are a riot but it's hard to best the image of Mr. Spock being attacked and engulfed by little kitten like creatures which turn out to be these people's young.

Something tells me this won't be a routine kind of first contact scenario for Kirk and company.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading, CeJay. No, not routine at all, and that could be good...or it could be bad. Glad you like it so far.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 Jul 2014 03:58 Title: Chapter 1

It's certainly a less than auspicious beginning for Spock.

Truth is - and I know you're striving for comedy - the idea of the ship being thrown across the galaxy, their being beamed in a strange and unexpected way, and then being deposited on a cement floor is giving me a sense of foreboding.

The aliens also take things too literally, although some of that is translation issues. I realize not everybody likes to create alien languages, but another way to point up the differences could be for Jovia to compare "say the word" to something like, "here, we say, 'throw the command'," or whatever. It would just be another way to highlight the dissimilarities.



Author's Response: thank you for the read, Jespah. I hadn't thought about creating a language...just never tried it, so didn't think about doing it, but I think that's a good idea and may be necessary for this particular story. I've never been really good at writing humor, so I am hoping the idea I have works, and it starts out with a kind of foreboding, but gets better and funnier. We'll see.

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