[Report This]Date: 21 Dec 2014 20:15 Title: Epilogue: Lessons Learned
Well that was a little unexpected and yet so obvious fall-out, perhaps Schmidt and Neil relationship has being restored but has the lesion being learnt?
I am not so sure but time will tell for Maren and Icheb.
Again you deliver a fine ending and the moral of the story is cleverly reinforce as Schmidt fall upon his sword because he knows it time to quit as he lost his impartial balance in trying to stop Maren ending up like Caris.
Thank you for writing this story and giving us another insight into Maren and Icheb past, it was as always to your own high standard.
[Report This]Date: 21 Dec 2014 19:47 Title: Chapter 14: A World of Hurt
So we finally see someone give Schmidt the left hook that he seems to deserve, but strangely like Neil it does indeed feel unsatisfactory because his reasons do indeed come straight from the road to hell is paved with good intentions proverb.
In some hand this could have being a filler chapter but your good prose and writing skill make it an interesting insight into all three men minds.
I do wonder if in truth if Neil and Schmidt aren’t the opposite sides of the same coin and their remaining guilty over Caris death has over colored how they approach life since. All in all a fascinating read.
Date: 22 Oct 2014 19:24 Title: Epilogue: Lessons Learned
I think this was a beautiful end to the story. It wrapped up all the loose ends well, in a manner that was both believable and appealing to the readers. It's good to see that everyone has seemed to have learned from the experiences they went through. Well done, I've really liked this story :-D
Date: 22 Oct 2014 00:34 Title: Epilogue: Lessons Learned
A perfectly paced ending to an exciting and surprisingly deep story. Schmidt got his due and ended up acknowledging his mistakes at the end (Neil is a bigger and better person than I for makng up with him). Maren, perhaps, learns an important lesson about knowing when to quit and it's a lesson everyone needs to learn. The hearing was very well done (the Bolian admiral was a nice touch, don't see many of them at that high a rank) and I thoroughly enjoyed this story beginning to end.
Bravo. :)
Date: 22 Oct 2014 00:34 Title: Epilogue: Lessons Learned
The scenario makes sense, and it definitely rescues Schmidt from being really evil at all - a sign of a character that's three dimensional, like they all should be. Well done.
Date: 18 Oct 2014 23:32 Title: Chapter 14: A World of Hurt
Nope, still hate Schmidt. He may be right, but his methods are just wrong. The ends can't justify the means. Good on Neil for decking him.
Date: 18 Oct 2014 23:29 Title: Chapter 13: Caris
A frank discussion on the Federation and Starfleet, one that's long overdue to take place. Can something so big continue to exist for the good of the galaxy? People tend to get lost in the mix when things get this big. Lots of good points to chew on.
Date: 18 Oct 2014 23:24 Title: Chapter 12: Bad Blood
Neil rocks. Dude's got fire. I like the way he lights up Schmidt, starting things out coolly before turning on the jets of rage. He's completely right, calling out those survival tests and Schmidt pretty much gives way the fact that this was a revenge ploy after Maren embarrassed the people who made the Kobayshi Maru.
Icheb could only stand and watch and that was the right choice.
Date: 18 Oct 2014 23:20 Title: Chapter 11: Neil
Schmidt. He's not very nice. Neil, on the other hand, I like. The undercurrent of emotion here from all parties (minus Maren who's out cold) was well done. I like the subtle tones taken here between Neil and Schmidt, not all out war but rather a cold acceptace of one another's position. Icheb is completely worried, as well he should be, and his worry comes through in everything he does.
Well done.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 23:57 Title: Chapter 14: A World of Hurt
Very interesting dynamic here. Did Schmidt bait Neill on purpose to get that reaction and give the man a chance at venting his frustration? Either that or Schmist is the biggest douche in the galaxy. I just don't know about this guy, some of the stuff he says makes sense.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 02:11 Title: Chapter 14: A World of Hurt
GO NEIL!
This chapter was extremely satisfying. :-D
Date: 30 Sep 2014 02:08 Title: Chapter 13: Caris
I love the parallels between Starfleet Command and the Borg. Any organization that is involved in bureaucracy tends to stray from emotionalism and individualism, promoting those who are the "drones" that can get the most done with the least amount of personality.
Icheb's points against that mentality are spot on, though, and reassuring.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 02:02 Title: Chapter 12: Bad Blood
Ooooh, here comes the deeper reasons behind all of this. I was definitely cheering for Neil in this chapter, and I'm hoping that Schmidt eats some serious crow.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:58 Title: Chapter 11: Neil
One thing that has always bothered me about certain aspects of Starfleet Academy is how inflexible they are for unique and unusual cadets. If Stephen Hawking was in a college shortly after his ALS diagnosis that required a physical education class, they wouldn't make him take it. You just don't risk it when there's someone who has a brilliant mind, or other atypical assets.
I'm glad this is something you've brought up for this piece, and I hope Schmidt suffers. (Then again, I've hoped that since the beginning!)
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:50 Title: Chapter 10: Alert
Ooof. Fortunately it seems like she's arrived just in time. Still, something tells me there are consequences to everything that she and Icheb have done.
Here's to hoping that Schmidt goes down too, preferably right after Maren or B'Elanna punch him.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:46 Title: Chapter 9: Thin Air
Icheb is going to lecture her SO hard later... You have done a great job at conveying Icheb and Maren's emotional states throughout this piece. Well done!
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:41 Title: Chapter 8: Hail Mary
"Meanwhile, she had never been so grateful for the suit’s toileting system." - Oh my God, I just died.
Good to see that Schmidt has SOME semblance of a heart... or at least fakes it well.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:37 Title: Chapter 7: Fight or Flight
Severus Snape did not die in the Harry Potter novels. He survived into the 24th century, and now goes by the name Schmidt.
Something about this whole circumstance seems WAY too personal.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:31 Title: Chapter 6: Breakfast at Tellarite's
Yeesh, it keeps getting worse for Icheb, doesn't it? I must admit I found the Tellarite flirtations to be positively hilarious. The mental image of John trying to beat off that waitress after she sees the tip is quite funny.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:20 Title: Chapter 5: Sunrise, Sunset
It's adorable to me that Icheb finds Maren to be perfect; and that he is even more attracted to her upon realizing that she has flaws. I feel bad to her for a few reasons, most notably because she has to sleep alone while Icheb is regenerating.
Throughout the chapters thus far, you've really made a good point of considering the details of the situation: how each persons unique circumstances and interests shape their lives in a more than superficial level.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:10 Title: Chapter 4: Level Fourteen
Poor Icheb :-/ Schmidt's threats are pretty petty. I understand his desire to make sure their relationship won't lead to either of them being compromised, but you can't expect lovers NOT to work together.
Is the trap here for Maren, or is it really to try and prove that Icheb isn't fit for Starfleet service?
Date: 30 Sep 2014 01:04 Title: Chapter 3: Moving Too Fast
I love that they've turned this whole thing into a spectator sport. Then again, I have also been known to watch people compete at video games on YouTube, so I'm kind of an enormous nerd. I can't help feeling like there's something far worse than just the temperature and the storm in Maren's future.
This is the first story that I've read with Maren, and her tenacity and stubbornness is something that I find extremely relatable, so I'm liking her a lot so far.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 00:59 Title: Chapter 2: Conflict of Interest
Aw, man. What a terrible position for Icheb to be in... and Schmidt is truly a sadistic individual for setting up the test that way. Then again, in the normal course of duty, you can never predict what scenario you're going to face, or who you'll be put up against.
I really enjoy stories that put characters up against circumstances that push them to their limits, and it's clear that you're planning to do exactly that. I'm really curious to see where it all goes!
Date: 30 Sep 2014 00:51 Title: Chapter 1: Viewport in the Storm
Uhg, I would be in EXACTLY her predicament if I took this test. I HATE the cold. As such, I empathize really strongly with Maren. I would definitely try and wait out as long as I could in the relative warmth of the escape pod, and pray for the best for the last 24 hours. Then again, something tells me that there is no way this will be quite as easy as Maren hopes it could be.
Date: 30 Sep 2014 00:00 Title: Chapter 14: A World of Hurt
I like that, for Neil, the punch proves to be dissatisfying (often these kinds of things are).