Date: 20 Sep 2014 01:56 Title: Chapter 10: Alert
MAREN FTW! Fuck you Schmit. Lose your commission. Let the VOY crew at him.
Date: 20 Sep 2014 01:53 Title: Chapter 9: Thin Air
WHOA. Holy crap, she's running in the frozen wasteland! Tense scene; like the audio alerts being disabled by Maren (seems to be SOP for Starfleet in the situation) and Schmidt continues to be a dick. I hope he gets grilled for this.
Date: 19 Sep 2014 01:45 Title: Chapter 9: Thin Air
Ah - yeah - Schmidt is gonna get his ass handed to him on a plate.
Date: 17 Sep 2014 23:01 Title: Chapter 8: Hail Mary
Well it getting to the real serious stage where Maren stubbornness might get her through the test but at what cost?
Good to see Schmidt isn’t a full sadist and does have a human side somewhere inside. I do kind of wonder what his back-story is; especially that final line “That her recklessness could very well get her killed someday?” seems telling.
I think three stun polar bears was a shock for the observation crew and long with Maren reduce airflow to try and make Alert before sun down.
As always you’re done a fine job and I like that you’re how you keep me engrossed in these characters and their collective tales.
Date: 17 Sep 2014 22:37 Title: Chapter 7: Fight or Flight
Well at least polar bears aren’t extinct by 24th Century. Lol
Still you continue to make this an interesting read and look into the inner working of the young Maren and Icheb mind.
Still unless Schmidt has hidden holo-projectors this has to be a bit of bad luck for Maren. Now the real survival pressure is on our bold heroine. Still as always I am looking forward to see how she get out of this.
Date: 17 Sep 2014 21:35 Title: Chapter 6: Breakfast at Tellarite's
Lol John being a perfect flirt with the Tellarite waitress wouldn’t be surprise if she ends up as JQ next girlfriend, that be a thanks for the introduction story for Maren not to hear.
Well good to see Icheb being aware of the situation he got himself into, interesting choice of an answer from JQ to avoid detection. It will be interested to see what Icheb does next.
As always a easy to read chapter with two very engaging and believable characters.
Date: 17 Sep 2014 05:49 Title: Chapter 8: Hail Mary
Go Maren! And, no, Schmidt, you don't get to look all wise here at the end. You are a sadistic prick. Maybe you're right, but you're still a sadistic prick. Point. Game. Match.
Date: 17 Sep 2014 05:46 Title: Chapter 7: Fight or Flight
Oh man! The Coco-Cola bears have spawned Starfleet hunting killers! I knew all that Coke would undoubtedly alter their genetic code ... stuff's evil, you know?
Great scenes here, especially in the snow, where you capture the environment with chilling (pun!) accuracy. Enjoyed hearing Maren complain and bitch about the EV suit and everything, but man is Schmidt crankng up his Aholeness to 11! Let's see what Icheb can do, if anything.
Date: 17 Sep 2014 05:05 Title: Chapter 8: Hail Mary
At least Schmidt is figuring out that he's gone too far. There's hope for him yet. Didn't know about the Augment piece, although that explains a lot.
Date: 16 Sep 2014 21:30 Title: Chapter 7: Fight or Flight
Oh Schmidt, there's a special place in hell reserved for you.
Date: 16 Sep 2014 20:22 Title: Chapter 6: Breakfast at Tellarite's
The back and forth between John and the Tellarite was brilliant, just what you would expect from JQ. Added to the little comment about not being able to convince the perfect girl and you have a perfect encapsulation of who JQ is. Although the thing about helping Schmidt, while logical, is definitely a little cold! Can't wait to see what Icheb does next!
Date: 16 Sep 2014 20:12 Title: Chapter 5: Sunrise, Sunset
Oh Maren... My wife is a perfectionist, so I totally understand where this is coming from, but at the same time... WTF! Great job as usual of getting into the mindset of your characters, of showing us the tortured paths their thoughts must take. The scene with the Denobulan was nicely done as well. On to the next chapter...
Date: 16 Sep 2014 20:07 Title: Chapter 4: Level Fourteen
Ok, the stakes keep on getting higher. Interesting that Schmidt seems to have put his finger on exactly what Icheb was most afraid of: having to face a psych test that included Maren. At the same time, yay Maren! Well done to her for figuring out the message Icheb was trying to pass her, especially considering how tired she had to be. Will she be able to stall here and even if she can, for how long can she hold out? I have a bad feeling about this...
Date: 16 Sep 2014 20:02 Title: Chapter 3: Moving Too Fast
Go Maren! Actually on second thoughts... Great way to show just how clever your Maren is, and love the comparison to an athletic event: I can just imagine a bunch of Starfleet geeks hanging out, watching her breeze through Icheb's code, as excited as if they were watching a football game or a tennis match. Unfortunately for Maren, of course, her tenacity is about to cost her... Can't wait to read more!
Date: 16 Sep 2014 19:58 Title: Chapter 2: Conflict of Interest
Oh man! That is harsh! Getting Icheb to set up Maren's test... I like the way Icheb has managed to help her despite all the safeguards against just that happening, but also the fact that he trusts her enough not to make it too easy for her. Schmidt seems like a particularly nasty piece of work, makes sense there would be someone like that handling this kind of test. A great way to twist the story around on us. Even more excited to find out what happens next!
Date: 16 Sep 2014 19:54 Title: Chapter 1: Viewport in the Storm
A very promising beginning: it makes sense that Maren's first reaction to this would be to try and find a way around it using technology. Very in keeping with her character. Of course whether she will succeed... Guess I'll have to keep reading! :) I liked the descriptions of the Antarctic and the little call back to the ST movie.
Date: 16 Sep 2014 16:01 Title: Chapter 6: Breakfast at Tellarite's
Ah, JQ. Always good for down-to-earth advice and wisdom. He's right here about Schmidt and, more than anything, the chapter was a nice break in the tension with the Tellartite cafe (and the Breakfast at Tiffany's reference in the title). JQ would marry a Tellarite if she looked like an Orion slave girl. The personality works for him, the looks not so much.
As for Icheb, I hope he doesn't make things worse for Maren. I don't think he could do that to her.
Date: 16 Sep 2014 15:54 Title: Chapter 5: Sunrise, Sunset
Oh, Maren. You're going to go out in a frozen blaze of glory, huh? Can't blame you. The way they set up the test does make it sadistic, in the truest sense of the word. I liked the introduction of Klaris (Denobulan's FTW), hope to see him again in the future.
I wonder if Starfleet is going to punish Schmidt and his brood for this ... Icheb knows Janeway. She could be convinced to do something I'm sure.
Date: 16 Sep 2014 15:47 Title: Chapter 4: Level Fourteen
Yay! Maren figured it out and decided to pass out. Schmidt isn't very nice, but he's right; the two have to prove they can work together. This is as good a way as any to do so, especially with the DQ mission looming and the importance Starfleet has placed upon it.
Date: 16 Sep 2014 15:43 Title: Chapter 3: Moving Too Fast
Oh, poor Maren. The clues were there, however subtle. It's great to see her comment on the nutrional supplements (I imagined they tasted horrible and it seems they do) and the way she rises up the challenge presented before her.
But all the while she's being watched and cheered on/rooted against. Atherton's appearance for required dickery was, per usual with him, absolutely unecessary but that's how he rolls. Icheb is sweating it out while Big Brother watches his girl inch closer and closer to ultimate failure. Tense stuff.
Date: 15 Sep 2014 23:53 Title: Chapter 5: Sunrise, Sunset
Uh, oh. Maren, this is how people die.
Date: 15 Sep 2014 23:34 Title: Chapter 5: Sunrise, Sunset
What’s wrong with Tellarite food precisely? lol
Still you do to give Icheb a inbuilt urge to bend and break the rules which does seem hardwire into him, then again that what he was made to do to the borg so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. Still I do wonder what JQ will make of the Icheb breakfast chat.
Well good to see Maren realizing that she needs to use the EV suit and her reaction to opening the door and see just how cold it really is outside was sadistic funny.
Another well crafted chapter and you continue to make your main characters interesting to follow.
Good work as usually Kes7.
Date: 15 Sep 2014 23:13 Title: Chapter 4: Level Fourteen
Well clearly Schmidt isn’t a fool and is wondering how Maren got through those code so fast but stop at the final code. Still it was a good moment and when handled realization by Maren what the code meant and her clever way to hide that she recognized the last code for what it was.
Again you did a great job with all your characters thought process in this chapter.
Will be interesting to see what the next chapter and morning brings.
Ominous last comment for Icheb. Great work as always.
Date: 15 Sep 2014 22:59 Title: Chapter 3: Moving Too Fast
The codes walls are falling and Maren is so focus on beating them that she doesn’t see if Starfleet envisage her hacking the code they must be a logic trap somewhere to force her to face her survival test.
Still both Maren and Icheb are well written as always especially there inner monologues. Then good scene as Maren as she faces the joy of the Nutritional supplement drinks and the joys of 13 degrees of warmth in her pod.
Icheb private thoughts on her test performance and the impression that those watching her hacking the codes are impressed by her chaotic work. Still an interesting cliffhanger to imply nearly everyone fails his or her first test.
Date: 15 Sep 2014 22:34 Title: Chapter 1: Viewport in the Storm
Just realize that I never left you a review for this first chapter, so better late than never here you go.
Well first off you’ve bring Maren O’Conner to life and made her thought process and choices flow naturally. From her refusing to accept being locked out of the computer and secondary sensor and her assessment of her options to go to Alert or wait the weather out.
I was a little surprise that Maren was that confidant in her own programming abilities that she felt she could cheat with out Starfleet working it out.
Still that nice final line did sum up Maren mindset.