Date: 22 Jun 2014 02:26 Title: Chapter 4
Damn what are they doing? A quiet moment of respite before things pick up again. Nice way to create tension and develop characters and provide interesting pacing to the story.
Date: 19 Jun 2014 14:16 Title: Chapter 4
A nice little interlude to the action here. And one that reminds us that this crew as the scars to prove that they have tumbled with the Borg before. They understand the stakes.
I like T'Randa's moment of weakness in her ready room. It helps to humanize the character.
Date: 07 Jun 2014 14:00 Title: Chapter 3
OK, a moment of win would have been great but then the story would be cut short. However, I like the development of the story as it means more ingenuity and savvy required from the crew to defeat the Borg. It's not going to be easy and I like the fact you didn't go for an easy fix. They've bought time for Bajor's defenses but at what cost to themselves? Neat.
Date: 07 Jun 2014 10:13 Title: Chapter 3
Yeah, that would have been too easy now. Instead now we're playing a game of hide n' seek in the badlands. Considering their size difference, I'd say the Wolf has the better odds on this one and just maybe might be able to keep that cube busy long enough until reinforcements arrive. But will their combined firepower be enough to destroy a cube? Looking forward to find out.
Date: 05 Jun 2014 19:55 Title: Chapter 2
Well this is certainly and interesting development. Here we've got a mighty Borg cube but it seems it is so confused it is not interested in assimilation. At least not right away.
T'Randa and her crew will need all the help they can get to stop it from taking out Bajor. Let's hope her appeal did not fall on deaf ears.
Date: 02 Jun 2014 23:28 Title: Chapter 2
Ooooh. Tension mounts and the clock ticks. I'm liking this. You're keeping the action amped up and still giving us quite an overview of the characters. That's very good. Also, Dale for the win. That Trill, as if the first chapter didn't already make enough of an impression, with zippy lines and a heck of a personality, here she's got the smarts to cook up a specialised torpedo. Always handy to have a spare one hanging around.
Date: 02 Jun 2014 23:21 Title: Chapter 1
On a ship of the size of a Defiant class, you'd like to think you could expect a fairly intimate crew with its own brand of quirkiness and banter. Certainly, you've served it up in the bucketoads in this short introduction to the eclectic crew. One quibble I might have, is the sheer volume of ranking officers we have on board. However, we may have our full complement of them and that's really only a side matter. What does matter is the characterisation, and well you've got yourself a stable of intriguing characters - from the curious but apprehensive Soebe to her charming and outgoing and experience Trill friend Dalane, to the CO Rembrandt a fascinating mix of human and Vulcan, to I'm going to assume stern and badass Andorian XO. Loads of potential. That is, if the survive whatever comes next. A Borg transit conduit opening up before them can never be a good thing and out of the blue a mundane mission is suddenly no longer mundane. Ah, classic Trek.
Date: 31 May 2014 04:37 Title: Chapter 1
Well, that turned scary rather quickly! I really loved the characterizations. The people were clearly etched and fairly well leapt off the page.
The scenario made sense, too. I have often figured that space, most of the time, is probably pretty damned dull. Sure, you are traveling and all of that, but the distances are rather vast, even with transwarp conduits, warp drive, and so on. There is an awful lot of flying going on, and it is not necessarily going to take a ship past anything that exciting. So T'Randa's interest and excitement in the new phenomenon is understandable. Until, of course, the other shoe drops.
Well done!
Date: 30 May 2014 18:04 Title: Chapter 1
First, glad to finally see this posted. For everyone else, TPhoenix has had this planned for a few years now, so I'm very happy to my universe-mate finally up and going!
The Wolf bunch are fun, and it was very intimidating trying to write for them before anyone else had been introduced to them (see my story infilTRAITOR) so I am very glad to see a better introduction and fleshing out for them than what I could have done.
Can't wait to see the rest...I've only seen 4 chapters, and that was before you tweaked things, so this should be a lot of fun! Welcome to community again, and can't wait to get TFO going here!
Date: 30 May 2014 13:52 Title: Chapter 1
Wow, what a fantastic opening. Interesting characters, nice descriptive passages and a killer cliffhanger!
I really like the crew you have put together here aboard the WOLF 359 (and man, is that an ominous ship name considering how the chapter ends), from the commander to the engineer. The idea of an El-Aurian who 'listens' to machines instead of to people is a great twist on a known race, and she is certainly a quirky character to say the least. Not sure how that will work in the long-run onboard ship, but I'm certainly intrigued to find out.
You also did a great job with the Rembrandt character - I don't think anyone has attempted a Spock-type character with that same mixture in a why, so I'll be looking forward to seeing how you develop that going forward as well. Having her make the link with Spock, and her 'obsession' with him and his career is a nice idea as well, offering opportunity for throw-backs to the past.
I have always loved the Defiant-class so it was nice to see another ship in that class out in the Badlands. You did a good job of describing the ship's interior and taking us through the key places: bridge, engineering, etc. I also liked the glimpse of the Jeffries' tubes.
You did a great job of building up the mystery of the 'wormhole' in the Badlands, only to create a huge twist at the end by the revelation of what it actually is. I look forward to seeing how this will develop and how the Wolf 359 is going to face off against the incoming Borg.
Great job all around!
Date: 30 May 2014 11:29 Title: Chapter 1
It's the Wolf 359, so naturally she'd encounter a Borg ship eventually. Let's hope though that things won't go as badly as they did in the battle for which she's named.
I like this crew. They are a quirky bunch and perhaps not quite as clean cut as you'd expect from an escort primarily designed to do battle.
I like the fact that Rembrandt is just a commander, on a ship this small that makes sense. However, according to tradition she'd be referred to by her title, which is captain. I also thought you had too many senior officers serving on this small ship. If this is set post DW, such experienced officers are more likely posted elsewhere where they are needed more. Instead I would expect more LTs and JGs filling the senior officer's roster.
Those are just minor nitpicks of course and don't distract from the story overall and I'm curious to see how this crew will handle the incoming Borg threat.