Date: 02 Aug 2014 00:21 Title: Chapter 3
Wow, those four as kids REALLY don’t get along at all. The bickering, squabbling, and downright meanness of it all was really well captured. The four of them absolutely seemed like they would come to blows but, thankfully, Spock was able to get them to work together long enough to communicate with the children.
Sulu went with the old “gas the bad guys” trick and it worked well. Knocking out the Gammans was the right call and it solved the issue. Commendation for original thinking, Mr. Sulu.
The poor Gammans though. The kids weren’t responsible for what happened to them, they were made that way, but they still died all the same and you could feel the grief from everyone in sickbay as they watched it happen. It was nice to see Larry again, if it was for a brief time, but Lauren definitely suffered the most I feel.
And Spock actually identified with her, which has a lot to do with the way they were together in the childlike reality they shared. It’s definitely something that’s going to be a major part of their future dynamic, but it seems the two have warmed to one another a lot over this brief experience.
Kirk’s guilt is genuine and the relationship that he has with Spock right now is at a critical junction I think. The ending showed just how much Kirk really is questioning Spock internally … I wonder if Jim will end up being right in the end?
Author's Response:
In earlier drafts of this story, the four scaled-down officers actually did come to blows. Right now Kirk is suffering enough guilt, but he has to realize that their minds were all being influenced.
Spock and Lauren had a tender moment or two, but meanwhile he and Larry are sort of circling each other, and who knows where that might lead? Due to unfortunate happenings in their childhood, Larry is more protective than the average brother. And being that they are twins, too....
Thanks for the comments!
Date: 01 Aug 2014 23:58 Title: Chapter 2
Man, there has to be some sort of telepathic trickery going on here. The Gammans blanking out the mind of Chapel, Fielding, and then Kirk? These kids are doing some sort of trickery. The musical notes make me think it has something to do with their pipe things …
At the same time, I’m a bit disappointed in Spock jumping so quickly to the conclusion that Jim wanted to be in command during the crisis. Yes, Jim did feel like he should have been, but the relationship between those two seems so tense of late. When something bad happens or goes wrong, Spock immediately jumps to a poor thought about his apparent friend. Dude, got to be more trusting.
The twist with the comatose patients being turned into children, now that was unexpected. I had thought maybe they were mentally hijacked but not dumped into some reality where they were kids and acting like it. A lot of hurtful things were said, but like all children hurtful things come out far faster than their brains can act to stop it.
Now it’s up to McCoy and Sulu to figure out how to solve this crisis before their friends are trapped in kiddie hell forever.
Author's Response:
Yes, Kirk and Spock are behaving a bit strangely even before the Gammans whittle them back down to kids. It seems to me as if those darling little Gammans are having some influence over our duo's minds in order to draw them into kiddie hell.
Date: 01 Aug 2014 23:28 Title: Chapter 1
This was a nice opening scene. For many stories now we always seem to find Spock knee deep in some sort of horrible trouble (not tribble). It was good to see a group of his comrades around him, drinking, celebrating, and relaxing with the ship not in danger and Spock’s life not hanging in the balance. The scene with him and Uhura was particularly nostalgic, as the two really did play wonderfully together in TOS and it was revisited only a precious few times during the show’s original run. Yes, they might be rusty, but they’re a lounge act I can get behind any day.
And the Gamman kids show up again! Well, this is certainly an interesting development, especially considering only Spock and Lauren can actually speak to these kids. But why were they left there in stasis pods? Very strange, indeed.
The way people start dropping like flies, especially the women, makes the children concerning. Something about them is causing crewmembers to fall and I’m not sure what, but I’m betting telepathic interference of some sort. These kids are just a little TOO cute and that’s the thing that bugs Spock the most, I think … these children were left for a reason. Might they be some sort of weapon?
Author's Response:
Hmm. Sounds like you're catching on. Thanks for the read!