Date: 01 Aug 2014 06:24 Title: Stardust
Oh boy. Spock’s alive and made it through but now he’s got a drug in his system that could make his life very, very miserable in the future. As we progress in the chapter it seems the realization is hitting everyone that this has to be dealt with, especially Lauren who’s become bitter about things. I guess it’s guilt more than anything eating away at her, but she’s definitely developed a nasty resentment to Spock.
The breakdown of what happened on the planet by Lauren, how Kirk and McCoy react to it, was wonderful. I can totally see those two rallying around her as the savior of their friend, even if she did muck things up for him. But he was dying and she was within her rights to relieve his pain.
Overall, a good entry into this series. I really want to see Larry and Windsong more (Windsong was awesome) and I hope they show up in future stories. Lauren is the star here, of course, and she gets a lot of play to good effect. Emotionally, she has baggage (alcoholic father) but she manages to fight through that. I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes and how these two interact with one another in the future.
Author's Response:
Yes, Lauren is packing a heavy load of guilt. She anticipates Spock's resentment even before he has a chance to show it. And he does indeed become resentful. Things will be strained between these two for some time to come.
Father Larry makes a few appearances in future stories, but for now Windsong is singing her "swan song" unless I eventually write something new for her. Or maybe you'd like to write a Larry and Windsong piece...
Glad you liked the story! Thanks for the input!
Date: 01 Aug 2014 06:06 Title: Brink of Existence
Whew. Medically, ethically, Lauren is in a tough place. I’m glad to see you didn’t shirk away from this issue, which has plagued doctors in the past and plagues them even in the world of Star Trek: when a patient is suffering and you can’t kill them, can you give them something to ease the pain? Something that might make them worse off in the long run if they lived? Are the rules different for a person who is dying and one is relatively healthy?
These questions are relevant and I like the way Lauren approaches this here. She doesn’t try to sound like she’s made a firm decision, she merely states that she’s going to go this route because she can’t stand to hear him suffer. She’s spent months with the man, getting to know him even if he has been relatively shut-off, and she cares for him, clearly. She made the right choice IMO.
And then Spock did the Vulcan touch thing … awkward. Much.
Amanda’s arrival was warming and hard to watch, all at the same time. A mother confronting the death of her son head on … that’s Amanda, all right. Strong lady. But having to do it under those circumstances, that’s tough even for her. The Jonas backstory was a nice plug-in and the conversation between Spock and his mother was well done.
Loved the “AHA!” moment at the end.
Author's Response:
Lauren certainly thought Spock was dying. Both professionally and personally she felt that she had to do something--anything within her power to help the man. But yes, the idea of injecting him with strardus is repugnant. That drug has a terrible reputation. Even in Spock's state, it gets him stirred up, much to her embarrassment. Right after the "AHA!" moment, when the thrill subsides, I can imagine her thinking, "Uh-oh."
Glad you liked Spock's exchanges with his mother. At this point in his life he still struggles greatly with the fact that she is so very...human.
Date: 01 Aug 2014 05:45 Title: Directives for the Terminal Patient
Damn. You describe the effects of Spock’s disease with grace here. Enough to get an idea of it and feel for him, but not to make us ill ourselves, a tough balance to achieve. And Spock’s training in Vulcan discipline, with a whip of all things … makes the heart ache. No child should be subjected to that and I wonder where the logic in it lies.
The way everything else comes together in this chapter -- the child giving Spock candy, the way someone has reached out to Spock’s family to let them know of his impending doom, Amanda’s soon to be arrival, Lauren’s fielding of awkward questions and a thousand other little things … this chapter is my favorite of the bunch.
Bu the best part was Sarek and Spock in the last scene. You write them both so well together, you nailed the dynamic and I heard them clear as the church bells Larry rings. I’m once again put in awe of you capturing of the dynamics between these two Vulcans and the icy, complicated relationship that they had with one another. Even more so here than in canon, you play the beats just right and the tune is wonderful.
Author's Response:
So glad you're liking it. I will say here that the beatings Spock received at the hands of his great-grandfather would be considered abuse even on Vulcan. This plays out in other stories as the series continues.
Date: 01 Aug 2014 05:25 Title: Fever Dreams
Ah, I like the way this is written. The format change was a bit of a surprise, but pleasantly so. I like the melding (Vulcan term) of Spock’s memories from months ago and his present day interactions. Lauren clearly makes Spock remember his lost love and that’s why he’s so against her, but she’s also his best hope.
It seems like Spock’s disease was given to him deliberately, though what he’s guilty of is a question all its own. What could someone blackmail him for? It seems to be something he did with computers, but that’s just a guess.
Lauren moving in was a good move for her, but one that’s going to lead to more arguments. Spock doesn’t like to be hovered over and Lauren’s presence will feel exactly like that for him I think. His frustration, his anger at himself, his acceptance that he will die is all too apparent and sad to see.
True to form, Spock and Lauren do come into conflict (though they definitely have a little thing going on). But her brother Larry is right: she needs to let Spock deal with this his way and she needs to stop forcing things. (I like Larry a lot, the fact that he’s a priest and totally cool with that).
And the end … was that Larry giving Spock his last rites? Great ending, whatever it was.
Author's Response:
Yes, Spock is slipping in and out, mixing the present with the past. He is nearing the end.
Larry would not be giving Spock last rites, since Spock is not Catholic. But I am sure that the priest prayed for him...and for his sister who is having such a difficult time dealing with all of this.
Date: 01 Aug 2014 05:04 Title: To Die Alone
WHOA. Kirk in tears? McCoy delivering terminal diagnosis with a dead serious tone? Damn. You start this chapter off without pulling any punches and it’s tough to read. McCoy’s description of what’ll happen to Spock is downright disconcerting, if not nasty. And poor T’Beth … with Spock so ill and his time so short, she’s going to be raised by Sarek and Amanda.
Kirk wrestling with Spock’s imminent death is tough to watch. All his feelings, all his movements, feel right here. Even with Lauren entering the cabin, Kirk is too distraught to care. But she provides him with hope and he took it. Spock doesn’t make it easy in the end, which you really can’t do when you’re dying unexpectedly. I don’t think Lauren is going to have a very easy time with the grumpy Vulcan, but maybe she can get through to him.
The end of the chapter was poignant. The cadets defying their orders and giving their captain, their mentor, one last send off was touching. Kirk was right to swell up with pride at them; they did the right thing. It was painful to watch as Spock stepped onto the pad and no one said any goodbyes. That feels like a moment people are going to regret in the future.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for your remarks. Yes, I think Lauren will have her hands full. She has not been on the ship very long, and now this.
I think no one spoke in the transporter room because they were afraid they would lose control. Things were certainly rough enough when they said their goodbyes in private.
Date: 01 Aug 2014 04:50 Title: A Hint of Madness
And we start back with Kirk handing command of the Enterprise back to Spock. You can almost hear how he wants to tell Spock to take a few more days of vacation time, just so he can fly around on his favorite ship again, but he shows restraint. Jim is still curious about everything that’s going on and Spock is … well, Spock. He’s back to normal it seems and his mannerisms are that of a relaxed, unburdened Vulcan.
Boy, though, did Spock get something up his tail from New Year’s on. He was back to his worse self, a version that I had hoped to never see again. Biting off heads off trainees? That’s MEAN, Spock. Dude, you’re better than that. I can see why Sulu was angry and so was I.
Everything after that has the air of something really, really wrong with Spock. Jacking the Starswift? Taking it on an errand? Insuring the craft with his own money? What the hell was Spock doing? Kirk is as perplexed as he is worried and, were it not for the many years of friendship the men have, I would think the admiral would lay into Spock HARD. Instead, Kirk lets it go and tries to get to the bottom of it.
And then Spock hits the deck. The description gives away that he’s got some sort of disease, but the lead up the in story reveal is all types of concerning. I’m wondering exactly what his disease is. We’ll find as we go along, hmm?
Author's Response:
Read on, trekfan, read on. You are one busy fella.
Yes, Spock is definately not himself. Whether it's a germ or a problem (or both) something is really eating him. And now he's collapsed. There are probably some trainees who breathed a secret sigh of relief at that.