Date: 24 Dec 2013 16:40 Title: Chapter 6
Ah, and so it begins. They are, of course, not unlikely as allies. Sonia is itching for a reason to take down Jess. And Drake certainly seems to want back on board. Because he knows that the serum can kill Trill, he is of course well aware of who is a Trill on the Wolf. It is rather convenient for him that the head of the science department on that ship is one.
Hence he has his murder weapon. S'Tel has, essentially, just handed it to him.
The universe will burn, indeed. Heady, scary stuff!
Date: 24 Dec 2013 16:32 Title: Chapter 5
I still don't trust Drake. He was helpful at getting Sonia off Jess's back, but I think he sees a weakness and senses an opportunity. That neural suppressor seems too pat a solution. I bet it helps out the Undine.
Also, the accusation against Rembrandt was very quick. Sonia certainly accepted it without any real evidence beyond some rather minimal circumstantial stuff. Then again, Sonia isn't exactly a model of deductive reasoning, so that works in character. I think you make him a very believable character, not only with respect to how nasty and catty he is, but also the rather glaring imperfection that he is not much for deductive reasoning. They can't all be perfect scholars with genius IQs, and Sonia shows that well. Writers who have issues with Mary Sues would do well to study Sonia, as he is a very real combination of arrogance and ignorance, combined with smarm - like a real person.
Date: 24 Dec 2013 16:17 Title: Chapter 4
This is bad - more of a sense of foreboding (you have always written that extremely well) - as Justine's own psionic gifts seem to be turning on her. Our new guest seems pretty powerful, even when he is in danger of slipping into a coma.
Not good, not good at all.
Date: 24 Dec 2013 16:09 Title: Chapter 3
Ah, see, now this is dangerous. And I don't mean the issue with the Wolf 359. Rather, with Justine. If it looks like Jess is playing favorites, then Sonia's complaints are going to start to look a lot more reasonable and well thought-out. This is a slippery, sliding slope, and Jess should not go down it. Not to mention the very real issue that Justine has with PTSD.
Glad to see Seurer rejecting Sonia's crap, and pushing him to behave more like a grownup and an officer. She's right, of course, that if all he does is complain, he'll be passed over for promotion, again and again. He's clearly been blabbing his complaints to his buddies, and creating an essentially toxic work atmosphere. Without anything to say about Jess that holds water, he just looks like a whiny jerk. But if he has a leg to stand on, he'll start to look prescient and competent.
Don't do it, Jess.
Date: 22 Dec 2013 21:17 Title: Chapter 2
I sense this will build into something quite good, Temp. What there is so far entices more and certainly the dialogue feels much more realistic than most making these characters three dimensional unlike some I occasionally churn out :) As I've been weighed down by 'proper' characters for so long reading original ones makes a refreshing change. Encore, encore :)
Date: 18 Dec 2013 22:32 Title: Chapter 2
Obruz better be careful what he wishes for because something tells me that his new mission will be anything but boring. And St Peter's right. That's usually a bad thing.
Interesting situation with the Doctor. Perhaps there a more infiltrators in this story than I first assumed.
Date: 18 Dec 2013 17:51 Title: Chapter 2
How intriguing.
My guess is that the Ch'Rihan reference means that S'Tel's husband is Romulan. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's certainly ... interesting.
Obruz is happy to be going somewhere; Jess, not so much. And eek, Sonia with a shaved head! Please tell me this makes him look like a peanut.
Author's Response: Right on the money...S'Tel's husband is Romulan. But it's ok; my universe (Jess's backstory) has a bit of "good" Romulans working with the Federation, and the game introduced many good factions among the refugees as well. But yes, definitely interesting for a Vulcan and Romulan to be married. And actually, Sonia's always had a shaved head, lol. I'll have to pull up a screenshot or two for you! Shaved head and a very...creepy 'stache.
Date: 17 Dec 2013 06:14 Title: Chapter 1
What an opener!
A mystery to be sure, and now a captain's loyalty is being called into question by unknown forces.
And where might I find out more about these aliens? I take it they're shape-shifters of some kind, but i'm unfamiliar with them.
Author's Response: It'll be explained in a further chapter, but suffice to say you are very familiar with them already, and they are a major player in the events of ?Star Trek Online. Stay tuned...
Date: 15 Dec 2013 00:48 Title: Chapter 1
Well, that's a good way to kick off a mystery. Accuse the captain of being a secret, shape shifting enemy. I don't know her well enough yet not to suspect her, but even if the accusation is true, who has made it and why in such an odd manner? A chapter full of questions. I think I'll have to stick around to see if I can get some answers.
Also, that's an inspired starship name.
Author's Response: Thank you, and welcome to the universe! I'm glad you're hooked, lol.
I can't take credit for the name...I borrowed this crew from TPhoenix, definitely be on the lookout for him in the future!
Date: 14 Dec 2013 23:52 Title: Chapter 1
/rubs hands together/
This is gonna be great!
You always seem to do a good job of creating a feeling of dread, of slowly rising and spreading menace.
I'm wondering if the shuttle itself isn't a replacement. Maybe it, for now, is the infiltrator?
Author's Response: We shall see...