Date: 06 Nov 2011 03:31 Title: Border Cutter Silverfin - Ambush
My favorite stories are those from the Dominion War or about the Border Service. This story falls into both and shows us once again the Border Service is not to be messed with even though they use older, less advanced ships than everyone else. Keep it up.
Date: 06 Nov 2011 03:10 Title: Border Cutter Silverfin - S.O.S.
A nice look into the choices a captain must make when faced with minimal options. Plus its good to see more stories about the Border Service and their small but tough ships and extraordinary crews.
Date: 05 Oct 2011 01:58 Title: Border Cutter Silverfin - S.O.S.
Well, I'd say Leitjen is a good one for thinking on her feet, and making do out of very little! I'd say she definitely has a mind for strategy and it's easy to see why she was recommended for the captain's chair. It's also good to see that her crew seems to be getting used to their new commander; that's always a tough transition.
Just curious, though...how did the dead former commander recommend her? I've got to think it was before he died, but the way that sentence reads makes it seem like it was before.
I also liked how you had Daezen behave far less abruptly than Lwaxana, and actually understand that scanning people without permission--in depth--is a rude thing to do. I wonder if in your version of the Federation there tends to be a lot more tensions between Betazoids and non-telepaths. I know that I tend to find Deanna Troi creepy and rude when I watch TNG. Then again--much as she can't stand her mother, I'm sure she learned a lot of her bad behavior from Lwaxana.
The one thing I noticed is that occasionally you have a run-on sentence and some oddly punctuated dialogue, though it doesn't seem to happen often.
One final question. Do they ever check for survivors in the wreckage of destroyed enemy vessels? I admit the destroyed Keldon did bother me a bit, because I write for the Cardassians and we know from the show that even during the Dominion War, there were some good people among them who suffered because of what their leaders did. At the very, very least, though...you can't get information from corpses as you might be able to from a live prisoner if you get lucky and get the right person.
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this little segment. I always had it in my head that Leijten would fight until the end without considering leaving the Britannic alone. Now then onto your questions. I never actually stated this directly, but in my head, before the war began, Captain Ja-Inrosh was considering retiring and living out the rest of his life quietly as a monk. By 2373, Leijten had been his XO for 3 years and he would know that she could handle the post. But when the war began Starfleet would impose a stop/loss order that would prevent officers from retiring in order to keep their experience (as well as the numbers) for the war, so he remained. Seeing as how he served on the Silverfin since the ship was commissioned in 2322 (when he was a Lt. Commander and Second Officer) he's gone through at least three wars (Cardassian, Tzenkethi, Klingon) and one serious border skirmish (Talarian), so he knows that there is a chance he won't survive and wants to make sure that his ship and crew are in the best possible hands, which was why he chose his replacement and had messages ready at the end of "Ambush". As for Daezan and Betazoids, he was from a very normal family on Betazed but had his heart set on Starfleet. I would assume that most Betazoids who pursue a life away from home, would be more considerate of their abilities and how they could make others uncomfortable, or at least he is. Lwaxana definately appears to be very aristocratic (Daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice, etc), so she is always going to be a little eccentric, which would of course affect Deanna (also her role as Counsellor means that she would need to be more open to the emotions of the people around her). I do apologise for bad grammer, it is something I have never been that great at. I have tried to clean it up a little before posting here. I am most definately a writer and not an editor :) After the battle they do check the debris for survivors, but can't detect any on a cursary scan. They could have stayed and run a more thorough sweep, but they are damaged, the Britannic is barely limping and they've already run into one enemy ship, the last thing they need is to run into any more, so Leijten makes the decision to see to her ship and the one they were sent to find in the first place. Had this piece been a longer story, I would have included perspective from the Cardassians as well and brought in the divisions that existed, but it really was a piece about Leijten going all out to save thousands of lives, whilst battling doubts about herself and the loss of her former CO. I generally don't try and paint an entire race with the same brush (well except for one hostile species I've created myself), I like to make aliens as diverse as humans, which is part of the reason I like very mixed crews with lots of non-humans aboard (rarely do humans make up more than half the crew complement). I hope that answers your questions. But if you have any more, please ask and I will endeavour to answer. Brydon
Date: 20 Sep 2011 21:04 Title: Border Cutter Silverfin - S.O.S.
As always Bry I'm impressed by how pared down you get a story. You get down to the nuts and bolts, get into the action and bring up an emotional or personal issue with a thrust. Sometimes I would love to see more character interaction from your stories because you keep things so succinct yet it is clear you do it really well. Obviously, blathering on like I do ISN'T a benefit to the story but I do think that a little more would make your stories truly stellar.
But again I must stress it is a great ability of yours to throw the reader into the story and the situation with great speed adding drama and tension to the situation. It's like we the reader are thrown into the deep end so it actually makes us feel a part of the hurry and panic of the unfolding crisis set before us.
The last part with Kolanis came as a surprise ending as I was wondering how you were going to end it. Given the Captain's earlier doubts about herself and comparing herself to the former XO I thought you were maybe going to end on that as a resolution. However you did not, which was both surprising and pleasing because it would have been redundant following the applause and endorsement of the bridge crew. Following up with Kolanis' admission after the captain had earlier expressed doubts actually served a purpose in a weird way and it certainly made me question and wonder at how Betazoids serve and conduct themselves in such difficult and traumatic situations without it having a lasting and even damaging effect.
Date: 17 Oct 2010 22:59 Title: Border Cutter Silverfin - Ambush
Excellent stuff Bry! When I first read this,I loved the rush and thrust of the action. As someone who also writes for the Border Service I was very intrigued as to how you would approach and handle it.
Your appproach was simple and direct - lob it at them! And it works. We the readers are immediately propelled into the thick of the crew's fight for survival as they are ambushed. It all ticks along at a frantic pace, very breakneck and this is all very fitting to the chaos of the ambush. And then of course, this rush is suddenly quelled and we have the solemn ending. All very effective.
An interesting C.O. and any hopes of getting to know him better quickly dashed by the end of the story. But his little message was a weird but touching and mad forethought by the old dog. In your response at TrekBBS you said you wanted to make him not your typical Border Dog - though he is different I do think he shares certain unassailable attributes that make him a Border Dog - his foresight and practical and pragmatic message alone atests to it. Nevertheless, he is different too and the touch of religion and of course his alien nature only added to how unique he is.
Now for Letjin there is a legacy passed down to her from her CO. She now is to be the skipper and has the grave responsibilty of commanding the Albacore vessel. We shall see how she fares out. A great introduction to the crew. My only disappointments being the brevity and the lack of expansion on the characters. However, leaving your audience wanting more is often a good thing and of course I am happy knowing there are more stories to follow. P.S. Welcome to Ad Astra Bry and walk on over to the forums too.