Date: 10 Apr 2014 20:40 Title: Chapter 10: Relay
Some tight space and ground based action here, showing off the skills and professionalism of all involved. Special kudos to S'rel for digging deep into her bag of tricks and coming up with a real classic.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: 03 Dec 2013 01:59 Title: Prologue
Just read through all of this - really enjoyed it! The description of the space battle was excellent, felt fairly cinematic which is very rare in Star Trek! I very much enjoy the interplay between the command level characters, particularly S'Rel and the two Captains. Very interesting, I hope you add to what's already here!
Author's Response: end of year is always hectic for me, thus the next chapter is somewhat delayed... but it is coming!
Date: 14 Oct 2013 00:19 Title: Chapter 9: A Thin Thread Of Hope
And so into battle we go.
But Swiftsure's discovery may be even more significant. Unfortunately, unless this is revisionist history, we already know that any warning they may be able to send will come too late to save Betazed from the Dominion.
Author's Response: Well... it depends, the story is set at the onset of the war; anything can happen :p
Date: 26 Sep 2013 22:19 Title: Chapter 8: Running Silent
And now they're off. Suicide mission? My money says no but whatever they're going to run into out there, I have a feeling it will seriously test not just this crew but her rookie captain as well,
Author's Response: Guess we'll have to wait and see :)
Date: 25 Sep 2013 22:15 Title: Prologue
This looks to be an interesting tale of the early days of the Dominion War. Nicely done prologue!
Author's Response: Thx!
Date: 25 Sep 2013 12:52 Title: Chapter 7: A New Mission
S'rel's got guts, but I suppose we already knew that. It was one thing to suggest such a risky course of action when she worked for Intelligence, but now she will have to put herself and her crew into harm's way to pull of the near impossible.
At least she manages to shore up some consensus this time. Maybe not all is lost if she has the full support of her crew behind her. And two out of three starship captains aint bad.
Author's Response: It is my fav part of S'rel... her being a former intelligence officer. Thanks for the feedback, and as you can see: she does learn :p
Date: 25 Sep 2013 12:49 Title: Chapter 6: Old Enemies
Well, look at S'rel taking the advice she's been given to heart and starting to behave just like a real starship captain. Who knows, before this crisis is over, she even may earn the respect of her crew.
I still love the inclusion of Ro Laren and the Maquis into this mix. It's sure to divide opinions and potentially make matters worse for S'rel who already stands on shaky ground with two more senior captains standing on the sidelines, ready to take over if she missteps.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I think S'rel is on her way to slowly get the entire captain thing ^_^
Date: 13 Sep 2013 18:38 Title: Chapter 5: McAllister C-5
Kudos to Captain Marks for standing up to Loren and defending S'rel. But, perhaps more importantly, he has rightly identified S'rel's weakness and is not shy to call her out on it. He's absolutely correct and it's about time our rookie captain acts like one and takes charge of this crew. Her development is going to be interesting to watch.
And I love that now you've thrown Ro and the Maquis into the mix as well, as if there wasn't enough conflict on this ship already.
Excellent stuff.
Author's Response: Conflict is more interesting that the "everyone gets along and loves each other" stuff, and I love flawed characters, they have always potential to change and grow. Thank you for the feedback
Date: 09 Sep 2013 23:55 Title: Chapter 5: McAllister C-5
Ah! Wow, Ro Laren. I love it. I also like S'rel getting something of a good talking to in regards to crew relations, and that she was backed up in her command. It's not particularly good to have such infighting, but I have confidence in her abilities to pull it through.
Author's Response: I've always loved Ro Laren on TNG, and I just had to give her a guest appearance (at first it was some other, newly created Maquis member). I also thought that the Maquis couldn't have all be captured or killed... I think they were dispensed with too easily on DS9... Thank you the feedback ^_^
Date: 09 Sep 2013 18:33 Title: Chapter 4: In Engineering
Park told Ngoyi pretty much exactly what she needed to hear. Now the question is, will she take the advice to heart? We shall see.
I also find myself fascinated by Dalra and an aggressive Xindi-Reptilian as a member of Starfleet. Sure, her species may not be one best suited on starship under normal circumstances, but now, as the Federation is fighting for its very survival, you probably couldn't ask for a better warrior among your crew.
Date: 09 Sep 2013 06:09 Title: Chapter 5: McAllister C-5
Ohhhhh, boy. Just when they manage to get to something like safety so they can lick their wounds, here someone comes sniffing around. Here's hoping that it's not the enemy, though I've a feeling that it very likely is.
Author's Response: eh... when I saw your review I noticed that, due to a problem with one of the html tags, half the chapter was missing... I've corrected it now...
Date: 09 Sep 2013 06:05 Title: Chapter 4: In Engineering
I really like Dalra, and I also like the sort of sociological view into the remaining prejudices of the Federation. It's easy to pretend it's a utopia, but it really isn't, not even in that century, not even in the venerated Federation. Both with Dalra here, and S'rel as well, you get to see old prejudices rear their heads. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think that this is one of the reasons why I loved DS9, as it tended to give some depth to the Federation, often - sometimes controversially - touch subjects that didn't fit with a utopia (e.g. "In the pale moonlight")
Date: 06 Sep 2013 00:26 Title: Chapter 4: In Engineering
Have a bunch of minor errors in the first few paragraphs; repeated or dropped works, that sort of thing. Fix 'em and I'll come back with a proper review.
Author's Response: I'm edited the chapter, corrected a few mistakes and adjusted the text here and there
Date: 24 Aug 2013 02:02 Title: Chapter 3: Three Captains, One Ship
Man, dirty dealing having to fight to retain your command when you've already proven you can keep your ship intact. I hope S'rel manages to hold on despite there being those trying to steal it from her.
Author's Response: I think authority is complicated, when Geordi held the bridge with all senior officers gone in "Arsenal of Freedom" a ranking officer from Engineering tried to get him to stand down in favour of him, it shows the complexity in Starfleet regarding such situations. But I think S'rel proved that she can keep her ship intact, but has she proved that she can keep her crew intact as well?
Date: 24 Aug 2013 00:28 Title: Chapter 3: Three Captains, One Ship
Nobody ever said being a captain is easy and S'rel is learning this lesson as well. Being the junior captain and having to defend her actions and orders in front of two more senior officers isn't easy but she stuck to her guns, doing the right thing.
More conflict could be in the making here, especially once Captain Loren had a chance to digest the loss of her ship a little better.
And then there is the shaky relationship between S'rel and her crew. Doesn't help that not even her first officer is totally convinced of her effectiveness as captain.
Date: 20 Aug 2013 22:31 Title: Chapter 2: Defeat
I too, like S'rel decisions here and they demonstrate quite clearly, that regardless of what she thinks of herself, she does have the right stuff to be sitting in the big chair. At least if she makes it out of this alive.
Date: 20 Aug 2013 08:31 Title: Chapter 2: Defeat
Well done, S'rel! Her orders were really, really good; she maintained her absolute cool the entire time, but never really edged into coldness, not even whilst calculating the odds to be absolutely against them in saving the Swiftsure. Definitely the mark of a fine captain so far. The battle didn't read as very tense, but that may have been the calm of the captain herself, as this was filtered through her eyes. Even so, it was a very well played, if quite devastating, showing.
Author's Response: Thanks for the comments. I know what you mean with the battle not reading very tense, the more I reread it the more I feel like a should make a few adjustments, just to let the tension build up a bit more to set the tone.
Date: 20 Aug 2013 07:35 Title: Chapter 1: Reluctant Command
Huh. I find I really like brevet Captain S'rel quite a bit. She's a lovely addition to the quite excellent OC crews we have on Ad Astra, and you attention to both history and detail in this chapter pleased me. Quite a trial by fire for the Athena -- yes, a great name for this ship -- and no doubt more to come.
Date: 20 Aug 2013 07:25 Title: Prologue
That is quite a nailbiting start and you do a great job setting the tone straight off, ratcheting up the tension and prodding the reader on.
Date: 18 Aug 2013 22:03 Title: Chapter 1: Reluctant Command
I like that you picked a Vulcan as your captain here. They always get such a bad rep that it's interesting to see things from their perspective. The fact that S'rel doesn't see herself as sufficiently capable to be in command, gives the character some additional depth.
There was a lot of exposition and prose in this chapter. As a big fan of dialogue perhaps a bit more than I usually prefer but I'm hooked regardless and curious to see where you take S'rel and this story.
Author's Response: Thank you for your comments.
I came up with S'rel after re-watching Enterprise again, and specifically T'pel inspired the idea for a Vulcan female in command. And you're right, their logic is usually portrayed in somewhat of a bad light.
I'm trying to pace the exposition and action in the first three-four chapters of the story. Since they are unknown characters, it needs a bit of prose to explain who they are and what they're about; later chapters should be flowing with less of that though.
Thanks for reading!