Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:58 Title: Chapter 5
Very good wrapup. The deft handling of Jim's confession, and Spock's reaction to it are particular highlights. You manage to inject a gravitas into the whole thing that makes it feel very valid and worthy. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad the various medical made-up-tech worked in terms of a read; I'm always worried it's going to make it into nonsense and a dull read, but technology is such a part of Trek it's hard to leave it out.
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:54 Title: Chapter 4
Oh, nice. I am no fan if STID, but I very much like the back and forth here, between Jim and McCoy and Jim and Kevin. I do hope this is a chance to really live for the both of them
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:50 Title: Chapter 3
Short but well- played. I like the matter of fact time Jim takes about it all. It doesn't come across as flippant. More... weary.
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:47 Title: Chapter 2
Wow. This is shaping up very well. It reads more cohesive than your summary claims and is refreshingly detailed and frank with the reader. I love the weaving in of original canon, the excellent use of Kevin Riley and the little bits of science and anatomy. Not my subject, either, but it reads credible to me.
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:41 Title: Chapter 1
Tis not my chosen universe, but I really liked the tone and pacing and characterization in this first part. Kirk comes across as competent and with layers, and McCoy comes across as irritable but sensible. Good work!